Glee: My Journey
by rkgg94
Summary: Join Glee's newest student from Ireland, Ryan in his adventures through McKinley High! Mainly canon with some changes along the way. Sugar/Sam/Blaine/Puck/Santana & New Directions. All reviews are appreciated.
1. Glee: My Journey Intro

Glee – My Journey

Ok so here we go!

So this is my very first fanfic, so please go easy on me! But I will always take constructive criticism, advice, or suggestions if you have any. I've never even written anything non-school related before. But I just got this idea and It wouldn't go away until I wrote something down!

Ok, so a background to my story and character … His name is Ryan and he lives in Ireland. He has short brown hair, blue eyes, He's 6 ft. tall. He has kind of an average build… Well he's not skinny but he's not fat either. I suppose you could say he has kind of a rugby player's build… Broad shoulders, etc. His best features are his eyes. They're blue, but kinda grey, a little green too, and they have flecks of light brown in them… So it's quite an eclectic mix of colours… But he has to wear glasses, so they're always hidden behind them. He love music; it's his life, plain and simple. He's very shy though… He love to sing, but has a fear of singing (or doing anything that could potentially embarrass himself) in front of people. So it can be very tough when you love to perform. He's gay but doesn't think that's a big deal as it does not define him.

Anyways I'm going to write a fanfic about what it would be like if Ryan had started in McKinley and his life in glee/interacting with the glee characters. I'm going to try and write the characters as best as I can, but as I said, this is my first attempt so they all may be OOC. I'm going to have some changes with the characters which I will list. But a lot of things will stay with the canon gleeverse.

**IMPORTANT:**** Before starting this story (and the subsequent continuations) I had some ideas about where I wanted the story and the characters to go. I was going to change a lot of characters years and ages, so that they would be at McKinley from the get go. However as I proceeded with the story, some things changed and I felt things worked better a different way. Underneath is the previous list of ideas I had for the story, but now, the underlined pieces are the ones that made it into this story. I hope you enjoy! :)**

**Myself:** Freshman. Moves from Ireland summer before Freshman year at McKinley.

**Sugar:** Freshman has no friends. Can sing better than in the show. On a level a little higher than Brittany, and getting better with practice.

**Sam:** Freshman. Moves from Kentucky to Lima summer before freshman year.

**Puck:** Sophomore, same as show.

**Blaine:** Freshman, leaves Dalton to join public school.

**Rory:** Transfer student, freshman, staying at Brittany's.

**Finn:** Sophomore, same as show.

**Rachel:** Sophomore, same as show.

**Tina:** Freshman, same as show.

**Kurt:** Sophomore, same as show.

**Mercedes:** Sophomore, same as show.

**Brittany:** Sophomore, same as show.

**Santana:** Sophomore, same as show.

**Joe:** Still homeschooled.

**Artie:** Freshman, same as show.

**Quinn:** Sophomore, same as show. Random guy is the father?

**Mike:** Sophomore, same as show.

**Lauren:** Sophomore joins willingly.

**Dave Karofsky:** Sophomore.

**Becky Jackson:** Freshman.

**Sebastian:** Freshman at Dalton.

**Jesse:** Senior at Carmel.

**The adults lives remain largely the same, except:**

**Coach Beiste:** Always the coach instead of Ken Tanaka.

**Roz Washington:** Always there.

**Emma:** marries Carl earlier, i.e. When she would have married Ken.

**/**

**A/N: So this is a basis on what I want for the story and where I want it to go, but it's not all definite. There could be some changes **


	2. The Beginning: Sugar Motta

1: The Beginning – Sugar Motta

_So here I am, about to start my first day in an American High School… And I am fucking terrified. What if they can't understand my accent? What if they don't like me? Stop! Positive thinking! Let me introduce myself. My name's Ryan. Ryan Casey. I'm from Ireland. I live with my mam, two aunts, and my two Grandparents. So it's a bit of an eclectic bunch of people, but I like it. They're the best family I could have asked for. I never grew up with my dad. I see him sometimes but not a lot. Maybe that's why I get on with my family so well. They sometimes seem like they're trying to make up for the fact that my dads not here… But to be honest, I couldn't ask for a better group of people looking after me. I'm 14. I'm young for freshman year. But Irish schools and grades are handled differently, so I'm a freshman here in America… Lima, Ohio, to be exact. I found out I was moving from Ireland just before my 14__th__ birthday, just when the summer holidays started there. My mam got a job, and my aunts were able to find work too. I was so angry at first. I would be leaving my friends behind. I don't make friends easily, because I'm so shy. Well to be honest. I'm really weird. I'm really shy, but I also love attention. So I'm a bit of a paradox! _

_But I'm ok with the move now I suppose. We moved here two weeks ago, I'm still settling in but at least I have one friend! If it wasn't for Sugar I'd be even more terrified of going to school today. I don't think I'd get out of bed! I met Sugar online. We got to chatting on twitter a few months back and became cyber friends. When I realised I was moving to Lima, Ohio, I told her straight away. That's the one thing that calmed me down about the move. Because I knew I had one friend here. _

**/**

**Last week:**

I closed the front door behind me and looked back at the mahogany door, glistening in the sunlight. I looked up at the frosted windows, stone walls, the old fashioned roof and I thought to myself _Wow… I live here… It really is a fairytale house. _I liked the house, a lot actually, more than I'd care to admit. But anyway, I was scared, because this would be my first time to walk in Lima by myself. But I was also so excited because I was about to meet Sugar for the first time! We had talked for months. We started talking when she retweeted something I had said about the amazingess that is Lady GaGa. And it was the start of an amazing little friendship! We talked most nights when I was in Ireland. About anything really. She told me about her parent's splitting up and how she only lived her father now. I told her about my own parents and my family issues. She told stories about guys that she liked and I did the same. She was so understanding when I told her about me being gay, And it was great to be able to talk to someone about it because I'm not out. And I was really touched that she told me about her Aspergers. But then I turned up outside of her house and wow was I surprised. There in front of me was wrought iron gates, a buzzer and a laneway leading to a building that can only be described as a mansion! _I can't believe Sugar lives here! Maybe she gave me the wrong address? _But then I heard a voice coming from the buzzer. A high pitched, nasally voice. "Ryan, you're finally here!" And with that the gates opened and I walked up the lane. _This can't be right?_ But then the doors opened out popped a small skinny girl that I recognised straight away from her profile picture. Long light brown hair, a thin face, lightly tanned skin, slightly pointy nose and an extremely glamorous ensemble consisting of a tight black t shirt, leather skirt, bright pink tights and black high heels. "Ryan I'm so glad you're here! It's great to finally meet you!" She said. "It's great to finally meet you Sugar! Um, so you live here?" I replied. "Yeah I do… sorry I never told you… I'll explain later, but first let me give you the grand tour!" After the tour we went to her room and sat down on her pink fluffy four poster bed. "Ok so here's the sitch Ryan, I'm loaded. I have more money than most, if not all, of Lima, including you… Sorry, Aspergers" (_That was gonna take some getting used to)_. "Anyways… my daddy has a really top secret job that he won't tell me about. And he pretty much buys me whatever I want. But he's hardly ever here. I'm usually here with the Nanny, like now. Just because I'm rich doesn't mean I'm popular. Sure people want me to buy them things and I used to do it. But then I realised that they were just using me… And then all of the 'friends' went away… But then I started talking to you… You appreciated me for me and you didn't care about my Aspergers. I decided to not tell you about me being rich, because I wanted you to know the real me… And I hope that you will still want to be my friend after I lied to you." _I was shocked… And touched… I was her only friend? Well I suppose she's my only friend too… She really is such a nice person. She should have more… People can be so shallow about money and popularity… It wasn't like that in Ireland…_ "Wow, Sugar, I'm really sorry that people have been so mean to you… Of course I'd like to still be you're friend! I'd be honoured in fact! I don't care if you're rich or poor. You're a great person and we're gonna make people realise that! So… best friends?" I asked while giving her a cheeky grin. "Best friends" she smiled back and gave me a huge hug. "Actually" I said, we don't say best friends in Ireland, we have another word; BMA's… **B**est **M**ates **A**lways… That's what we are". "Ok then BMA" Sugar replied as she started laughing.

**/**

**Present:**

So I walked to the gates of Sugar's house at 8:30am and she was waiting outside for me. We decided to walk together on our first day in McKinley High. We were worried but still a little excited. "What if no one likes us?" She asked as we turned into the gates of the new school. "Then they don't like us I suppose. Hopefully they will, but sher look, if they don't then we still have each other. We'll be grand BMA" I said as I smiled to Sugar. I was terrified, what if no one likes us? But hey, this was a new experience; whether it is good or bad, I have a feeling it'll only be the start of my journey.


	3. Sam Evans

2: Sam Evans

So the first day wasn't going too bad. We had an assembly first thing and we were introduced to all of the teachers and principal. Principal Figgins seems really…odd. Mr Schuester seem really friendly. He seriously cannot tell a joke though. Coach Sylvester… scary. I find it odd that the introduced themselves with their first names. If we had called a teacher in Ireland by their first name we would have detention for a month! Anyway the assembly was fine, Figgins talked about how these are the greatest years of out lives and all that. I didn't even notice any other students. I was so busy trying to take it all in to focus on any one specific face. After the assembly we were told to line up until given out our timetable of subjects by Coach Sylvester. I dreaded having to talk to her. "Ryan Casey" she called out. She looked at me all intimidating as I walked up to her. "You're one of the new Irish students aren't you?" "Y-yes... I-Is there another Irish student? I asked". "Shut you're pie hole Ginger!" she bellowed. "Um, I'm not ginger…" I whispered. "Do I look like I care Ginger? You're Irish, therefore you're ginger! Now take you're timetable and leave!" she shouted. I grabbed the card from her hand and ran the other way as quickly as possible. I was terrified!

I looked down at my timetable. First was European Geography… _An easy one to start with, I already know European Geography! "Sugar had math first so I had to go to the class alone. Sad face._ I made my way to the classroom and peeked inside the little window in the door. There were a few empty desks around the room. There was a few people already sitting down. _Probably best to get a seat to myself… and at the back. _So I opened the door and quickly grabbed a desk in the second last row from the back. I sat down and waited for class to begin. A few minutes passed, and then the doors opened again. In strolled 3 guys wearing Letterman jackets… _Jocks._ There was one really tall guy with dark brown hair; he seemed to be leading them. The next guy was a bit bigger than the first, he had light brown hair. And the last guy that strolled in had a Mohawk. _These guys are pretty hot… But they're probably douches, considering how loud they're being right now. _They strolled down the classroom, talking and laughing loudly to each other. The first two guys took the desk behind me. The guy with the Mohawk strolled up to my desk and then stood still, looking straight at me. "What are you doing?" he said, while smirking to faces behind me. "Um…I'm sitting" I said sarcastically. "Oh ok… well do it somewhere else… move". _What? "Um, why?" I said. I'm kinda scared…_ "Cause this is my desk… The Puckasaurus claimed it a year ago". _Puckasaurus?_ "Theres two seats. Just sit in the other one". I said. "No, the Puckasaurus needs his room… Now move or I'll beat the crap out of you." "Fine, whatever" I said, as nonchalantly as I could. "What's your name?" He asked me, in an almost friendly tone. "Ryan" I said. I got up and started to walk past him. Just as I passed by him, he stuck out a foot and tumbled to the ground. "Welcome to McKinley Ryan" He said while smirking and taking his seat. He even rubbed it in by putting his feet up on the other seat. I could hear his two friends sniggering away behind him.

My books had flown out of my bag and onto the ground in front of me. "Are you ok?" I heard a guy say in front of me. I looked up and saw a tall muscular guy looking back at me, concern etched onto his face. "Yeah I'm ok thanks" I said. He held out a hand and helped me up. "His friend shoved me into the lockers earlier so I'm guessing they do it to everyone. I'm Sam. Sam Evans." He said while smiling. "Guess we have to watch out for those guys then. I'm Ryan Casey." I replied. Sam bent down and picked helped me pick up my books and then handed them to me. "Wanna sit me Ryan?" he asked. "Sure Sam" I replied back. We took the nearest desk and started talking. It's only when we sat down that I got to see Sam's face properly. He had short sandy hair. It was quite a dark blonde, but it looked like it had been dyed before. He was really defined and muscular. His lips were huge. Not in a bad way. _He is really cute!_ "So thanks so much for helping me out there Sam. I was really worried that all of the students here would be like those guys. But you've proved that wrong" I said smiling to him. "It's no problem dude. Yeah I was thinking the same before I talked to you. I'm not from here. I moved here from Kentucky during the summer. So I don't really know anyone. By the way, you seem to have an accent. Where are you from? If you don't mind me asking" "Oh wow so we're in the same situation then. Yeah I moved here from Ireland during the summer. I only know one person here. A girl named Sugar. But she's not in this class so I was really worried until you showed up" I said smiling. "Wow, all the way from Ireland? That's far dude. I thought Kentucky was far." He said laughing. "So what do you like to do in you're free time man?" I asked. "Well I like sports and keeping fit. And I love comic books and video games. I love music too. I play guitar." "Oh that's cool Sam. I'm not really into sports but I do like to try and keep fit. You just have to look at me to tell I'm not good at keeping fit though. I like comic books too! And video games. And I love music! Music is definitely my passion!" I said excitedly. "No dude don't put yourself down. You don't look like you need exercise. But hey, I know how to. I can help you. Now let's talk about more important thiings. DC or Marvel?" he said very seriously. "Oh Marvel all the way man. I hate DC!" I said. "Right answer dude" he said laughing. The teacher then walked in and started class. We spent the rest of the class whispering to each other about the wonder that is Marvel. _I have a new friend! Frst day isn't going too bad!_


	4. Blaine Anderson

3: Blaine Anderson

**A/N: Although the events will be happening and progressing like the series and TV shows. It will start in 2011, instead of 2009. Just to bring it up to date with music and all that.**

**/**

_So the next few classes surprisingly went without a hitch! I spent the first two classes talking to Sam and then the next two talking to Sugar! So I wasn't as lonely as I thought I'd be. In fifth period I introduced Sam and Sugar to each other and we spent the rest of that class talking to each other! We got along really well! Now it's time for lunch!_

**/**

We walked through the double doors into the vast space that was the lunch hall. It was so big. Like ten 3 or 4 times the size of the hall I had back in Ireland! All of the tables looked almost full. I looked around and caught a glimpse of a free table down at the back of the hall. The three of us scurried through the crowd to the empty seats and sat down.

"So the first day doesn't seem as bad as I thought it was gonna be!" I said smiling. "Totes!" Sugar shouted. "Oh it's been totes amazeballs hasn't it Sugar?" I said as I winked to Sugar. "Um… amazeballs?" Sam said, looking confused. "It's something we say in Ireland. England too. It's kind of poking fun at how posh people talk. See Sugar here knows all about European pop culture cause of me" I said laughing. "Cool dude! Well you're gonna have to teach me all this European hipster stuff so I know what you're talking about." Sam said, poking his tongue out at me as he said it. "I dunno man, there's a lot to learn. You up for the task?" I said, poking my tongue back at him". "Oh I'm up for the challenge dude". "Then I shall teach you" I said as I winked, "And I know Sugar would love for me to tell you about European fashion, I can't. I haven't a clue about it. "Bit too gay!" I said as I laughed.

"Excuse me, but that's very offensive", someone said from behind. I turned around to see a guy about my age with black, slicked hair looking back at me angrily. "I'm sorry?" I said to him. "What you just said, 'too gay', that's offensive. I'm gay and that's derogatory to me" he said sternly. _Shit._ "Oh wow, I'm really sorry. I really didn't mean it like that. Sorry what's your name?". "Blaine". "I'm Ryan. Blaine I'm really sorry. I'm not from here. I moved from Ireland and in Ireland, 'that's gay' or just 'gay' in general is actually used as a term. It's not meant as anything offensive to gay people. It's just something we say. I'm just used to saying it." I said, trying to reason with him. "That doesn't matter Ryan. You're still using the term and treating like it's bad to be gay". _Shit, what am I supposed to say without giving away that I'm gay? _"Blaine can I talk with you in private for a minute please?""Yes ok" he said coolly.I got up and he motioned for me to lead the way. I looked at Sam and Sugar before walking with Blaine. They both looked worried.

**/**

We walked into a bathroom just outside of the hall. Blaine stood there looking at me waiting for me to talk. "Ok Blaine, first of all, again, I want to say I'm really sorry for what I said. Just let me say this before you fight with me again ok. I know that it's wrong to say that something is too gay or gay in general. I think it's wrong, I promise you. But in Ireland everybody says that. And Ireland is not like America. It's more like the southern states of America, where being gay is still treated as a 'sin'. You say those things to fit in. I only moved here recently so I'm still not out of that mindset from back home. Again, I'm sorry for saying that." I said. I paused for a few seconds, looking away from Blaine. _Ok here we go… I'm scared. I feel sick…_ " Ok, um, well, I'm gay Blaine. I'm not out of the closet, but I am definitely gay… I wish I was like you, being able to be out and proud… But I can't. You see, I moved from Ireland with my Mam, 2 aunts and my two Grandparents. My mam and one of my aunts know I'm gay and they're fine with it. But the problem is my Grandparents. Like I said, Ireland is very homophobic and my Grandparent's are devout Catholics. They despise gay people more than they love God. So I can't come out yet…. The whole point I'm trying to make is that I absolutely don't hate gay people. I love gay people, seeing as I am gay! I'm really sorry that I offended you but I'm still learning to adjust to this new place and I'm sorry if my past life creeps out every now and again. I'll try my absolute best to never do it again.,, Alright well that's all I have to say anyway, sorry if I wasted your time. But I just had to say that." I said as I started to walk away.

Suddenly I felt a hand grab my wrist and turn me back around. "Ryan I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I don't like what you said but now that you've explained it at least I understand why. And I forgive you" He said as he smiled. "I know how tough it is t o be in the closet. So you can officially call me your first gay friend" he said as he held out his hand and smiling. I shook his hand tightly. "Absolutely Blaine, thanks for understanding" I said. I couldn't keep the smile off my face. "And I'm kinda in the same boat as you actually Ryan. I used to go to a boarding school called Dalton Academy. I transferred here just today. It's less expensive here and I wanted to see what a public school felt like. But anyway, I don't know anyone here either." "You are similar to me then, I didn't know anyone here. But now I've made friends with the two people I was sitting with. The guy just moved from Kentucky and the girl has always lived here, but people never gave her a chance. Would you like to eat lunch with us?" I said. "I'd love to, he said smiling".

We went to walk out the door when three huge figures came bursting in. It was the mohawked guy Puck and his two friends. They were carrying cups of what looked like a slush puppy from back home. "Well well looks like the puckasaurus found his prey" he said as he walked up to me. Suddenly he tossed the cup. It was too quick for me to react or dodge. It hit me like a wave of ice, Ice travelling down my spine, in my hair, down my pants. EVERYWHERE! "What the hell was that for?" I shouted at him. "Simple, you're mine now" he said with an evil little smirk on his face. His two friends laughed as they walked out the door and Puck followed suit. I was livid. _Got my own personal bully… Just great… What a first day this is turning out to be._


	5. First Week

**4: First Week**

_So a few days have passed since the first day of school. Sugar, Sam, Blaine and I have basically clung to each other as much as we can. We don't know anyone else so we've spent as much time together as we can. We've been getting along really well, all 4 of us. They're making this transition a lot easier for me and I'm sure they feel the same. They've been especially helpful when it comes to the jocks… Well Puck for me. We've all been slushied now several times. But the only one that has slushied me is Puck. As far as I know, he's only been after me. I'm worried about that, especially after his 'You're mine now' comment on the first day. My friends make this so much easier, but still, I don't know how much bullying I can deal with. I miss Ireland in that respect, because bullying to this extent wouldn't be tolerated. I haven't told my mam about it, I've just been leaving a spare set of clothes in my locker just in case._

**/**

The 4 of us began walking down the hallway on our way to class. "So how can you not like Harry Potter?" asked Blaine, eyes wide with astonishment. "I just don't like that type of thing. I like fashion and music. I don't like fantasy. I prefer the real world" Sugar replied. "Sugar you know I love music. In fact we all love music. But don't we all need a bit of fantasy to escape reality sometimes." I said. "Yeah Ryan's right Sugar. I like comic books, Blaine likes Harry Potter, and Ryan likes both. It gives us a chance to be childish again" Sam said. "I suppose you're right guys, it's still a bit too nerdy for me though… Sorry, Aspergers" She said, slightly embarrassed. "It's cool Sugar, we all like different things. It's what makes us unique" said Blaine, smiling. "Ah yeah", I said. "Totally dude, well said", Sam said.

We were approaching the end of the hallway when I noticed a signup sheet for glee club on the notice board. I stopped and had a look at it. There were five names down so far. _Mercedes Jones, Kurt Hummel, Artie Abrams, Tina Cohen-Chang and Rachel Berry… With a gold star after the last name… That's odd. _"Um guys, what's a glee club?" I asked, looking confused. "You don't know what a glee club is?" Sam asked looking perplexed. "Glee club is like a music club; you sing songs as a group and perform in competitions and stuff." Blaine said. "I was in the glee club in Dalton. We were called the Warblers", he continued. "Oh so it's like choir basically?" I asked. The other nodded. "Oh right, well I did have choir in Ireland. It was just never called Glee Club. We didn't enter competitions either. I wasn't part of mine because it was too church-y for me, Just singing holy songs the whole time. That and the fact that I'm too shy to sing in front of anyone." I admitted, embarrassed. "Why would you be embarrassed?" Sam asked. "I dunno. Like I actually can sing… But for whatever reason I just find it really hard to sing in front of people. I've talked to Sugar before about this. Maybe it's to do with people judging me or something", I said, slightly sad. "You have no need to worry about what people think about you Ryan. As long as you enjoy singing, or doing whatever… You should do it!" Blaine said. "Blaine's right dude", Sam said. "Guys, I'd like nothing more than to sing and join Glee club. Music is my passion like! But I honestly dunno if I can". "Well here's an idea then dude. Why don't we help you and then we can all join Glee Club!" Sam said smiling. "You would do that for me guys?" I said happily. They all nodded. "Totes Ryan, like I told you, I sound just like Adele! I can totally help you out!" Sugar said. "We're all gonna be totes ree-dic!" "I have an idea guys, why not start right now? We can go to an empty classroom and practise." Blaine said. "One sec guys, are you absolutely sure you want to do this. I mean, we're already picked on by the jocks. And it's not like glee club is the coolest thing to be doing. It's singing and dancing like. Are you sure this is what you all want?" I asked. "Of course, who cares what people think" Sam said. Blaine and Sugar nodded in agreement. I couldn't help but smile. "You guys are seriously the best!"

We quickly found an empty classroom and walked inside. _I was starting to feel nervous about singing as usual._ "So I think maybe we should each sing the chorus of a song to just show what we all can do? What do you think?" Blaine said. "Sounds good dude", Sam said. "Ok well I'll get the ball rolling then"

**You make me feel like I'm living a Teenage Dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
let's run away and don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back**

My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch now baby I believe  
This is real, so take a chance  
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back

He finished and looked at us while smiling. "Wow dude that was awesome!" Sam said. "Totes!" Sugar and I said in unison. "I'll go next", Sam said.

**I wanna be a billionaire so freakin' bad  
Buy all of the things I never had  
I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine  
Smilin next to Oprah and the Queen**

Oh every time I close my eyes  
I see my name in shining lights  
Yeah, a different city every night oh  
I swear the world better prepare for when I'm a billionaire

Sam finished and looked at us for approval. "Wow man that was great!" I said enthusiastically. The others nodded in approval. "Thanks guys!" he said smiling. "Ok I'll go now!"

**And I...  
Will always love you  
I...  
Will always love you  
you, ooh**

_Oh wow… she didn't hit as many notes as I thought she would. _She looked at us happily. "Um Sugar… can I give you some advice" I said. "I think you can sing. We all do. But I think that you need to pick songs that would suit you're voice more. Whitney Houston is hard to sing for most girls anyway." "Ok Ryan I understand. Normally I would be angry if someone told me I couldn't sing something. Bu because it's you I'll let it slide. I'll try to remember that". "Now it's your turn Ryan… You ready?" Sam said. "Um suppose I have to…" I said. "I think I have to look away from you in order to do this."_ Oh My God I'm so scared right now! I feel sick. Hearts pounding in my chest. Literally don't think I can do this… _"We're waiting" Sugar said slightly impatiently. _Ok I hate to do this. It's now or never._

**But I set fire to the rain,  
Watched it pour as I touched your face,  
Well, it burned while I cried  
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!**

I set fire to the rain  
and I threw us into the flames  
where it felt something die  
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time!

I finished and turned back around to face them. I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes and look at them. I heard clapping. "That was great!" Sugar shouted, hugging me. "Why would you be afraid to show off that voice dude? You're great!" Sam said smiling. "Really Ryan, you're really talented. Don't let you're shyness get in the way of that" Blaine said. "Oh wow thanks guys so much! You really don't know how much this means to me!" I said. _That wasn't as bad as I thought! _"We'll help you overcome the fear, you just took you're first step. Next is looking at us while singing." Blaine said. "I have an idea. Let's sing a song together. All of us just to practice and get used to singing in a group. How about Teenage Dream?" Sounds good", I said.

**Blaine: You think I'm pretty without any make-up on  
You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong  
I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down**

Before you met me, I was a wreck  
But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life  
Now every February you'll be my valentine, valentine

Ryan: Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I, we'll be young forever

Everyone: You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's runaway and don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back

My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby I believe  
This is real, so take a chance  
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back

Sugar: We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach  
Got a motel and built a floor out of sheets  
I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece  
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I, we'll be young forever

Everyone: You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's runaway and don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back

My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby I believe  
This is real, so take a chance  
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back

Ryan & Sam: I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight

Everyone + Blaine ad-libbing: You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's runaway and don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back

**My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby I believe  
This is real, so take a chance  
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back**

Ryan & Sam: I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight

_This feels amazing. I've never felt so free. Actually being able to sing and have a good time and enjoy myself. Why did I not let myself do this before now? I can't wait to audition for Glee Club now!_


	6. Audition

**5: Audition**

_So yesterday went well. I can't believe I actually sang in front of people. But still… That was only my friends and' I closed my eyes and turned my back away from them… I still have a while to go to finally get confident. But I really enjoyed singing Teenage Dream with the guys. I think that's a good start at least; singing in a group so the focus isn't solely on me. At least until I get more confident in myself. I still have to sing alone for my audition so I need to learn to stop thinking about other people's opinions! It's easier said than done..._

**/**

**The next day:**

Sam, Sugar and I were sitting and talking in an empty classroom. After a few minutes Blaine strolled in with a big smile on his face. "Guess what guys? I just organised our audition for glee club! I went and talked to Mr Schuester about it before I came here. So basically, the first auditions already happened. He said that everyone on the list got in and one other guy joined… Finn Hudson I think he said." "Hang on a sec… Finn Hudson? That's one of Puck's friends; the guy that was laughing at me. Why would he join Glee?" I said shocked. "That's kinda odd. He slushies people but is in a club with people that he probably slushies himself" Sam said. Sugar nodded along looking confused. "Well that's what Mr Schue said. Anyway he told me that we can audition after school Friday next week in the auditorium. So that gives us plenty of time to practise ourselves and to help Ryan get a little bit more confident. Oh and he also said that the glee club is gonna be performing in the gym next Tuesday and that we should come along to have a look before our audition". "Thanks for sorting all of that out Blaine" I said smiling. "My pleasure. Now let's get practising!" He said laughing.

**/**

**Next Tuesday:**

The 4 of us walked into the already packed gym hall and took a seat. The show was about to start. Principal Figgins was in the middle of introducing Mr Schuester. Just before he walked on stage we heard a girl cheer "YAY GLEE! GLEE KIDS HOORAY!" Mr Schue introduced the kids; "Hi. When I went to school here, Glee club ruled this place… And we're on our way back. But we need some recruits to join the party. Now, I could tell you all about how great Glee is but I think I'm gonna let some friends of mine show you instead." He walked offstage as the curtains opened revealing the glee club:

**Get up on this!**

Oooh, baby, baby  
Baby, baby  
Oooh, baby, baby  
Baby, baby

**Get up on this!  
**

**Ah, push it**

**Ah, push it**

**Ow! Baby!  
Salt and Pepa's here!**

(Now wait a minute, y'all  
This dance ain't for everybody  
Only the sexy people  
So all you fly mothers, get on out there and dance  
Dance, I said!)

Salt and Pepa's here, and we're in effect  
Want you to push it, babe  
Coolin' by day then at night working up a sweat  
C'mon girls, let's go show the guys that we know  
How to become number one in a hot party show  
Now push it

Ah, push it - push it good  
Ah, push it - push it real good  
Ah, push it - push it good  
Ah, push it - p-push it real good

Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop  
Yeah, you come here, gimme a kiss  
Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed  
Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would?  
Now push it

Push it good  
Push it real good  
Push it good  
P-push it real good

ah, push it  
Get up on this!

**Ah, push it**

The crowd erupted in cheers.

_That was awesome!_

**/**

**Friday: **

_So it's time for audition. The last few practises we had together went really well. Yesterday I actually sang the whole song while looking and facing the others. So I've made progress! Let's hope it pays off for the audition. I'm not really nervous anymore. I can do this. _

"You ready?" Sam asked me. "You can do this" he said while putting his hand on my shoulder. "Thanks Sam. Yeah I'm ready. I can do this." I said. "So are you guys still sticking to the same songs that you practised?" I asked. "Yeah I'm doing _Fashion, _Sam's doing _I'm Yours _and Blaine is doing _Teenage Dream_. "And I'm doing _Set Fire to the Rain_." I said.

As we chatted amongst ourselves I heard my name being called from behind the curtain. "Ok well here I go then". "Good luck" They all said in unison before I disappeared behind the curtain.

I walked out and looked at Mr Schuester. There were 6 people behind him. The Glee Club! _I thought I'd just be singing for Mr Schue. _"Hi my name is Ryan and I'll be auditioning with Adele's _Set Fire to the Rain_.

The music begins to play. _Oh My God. What am I doing? Why am I up here? This is embarrassing. I can feel myself going red. What if the club is judging me? What if Finn tells Puck? What if I make a mistake? Oh God._

The first lines were about to begin. I opened my mouth to start singing. Nothing came out… The music stopped. _Silence. _I stood there for a few moments not realising what was happening. But then the realisation rushed over me.

_I just choked._

"Um Ryan, are you ok? Are you going to sing?" Mr Schue asked. "Um… I dunno. I dunno what's wrong. I can sing. Why can't I do this?" I said babbling on. "I can sing Mr Schue. I have recordings of me singing if you want me to prove it. I just find it really hard to sing in front of people." "Well what are you auditioning for Glee club then?" A brunette girl behind Mr Schue asked. "I love singing. I want to be able to do this" I said timidly. "I appreciate that Ryan but if you can't sing in public I don't think I can let you into the club."

At that moment I saw Blaine, Sugar and Sam appear from behind me.

"Mr Schuester, if I may. Ryan is an excellent singer. But before last week he had never even sang in front of anyone before. When we decided to audition for glee club we agreed to help Ryan with his fear of singing in public. He sang for us and we've been practising for the last week. You have to remember that we 3 are the only people that have heard him sing. Not even his family knows he can sing. We practised some group numbers to and he really shines through in that. It's just a full solo in front of everyone that he's still having a problem with. I have an idea. Instead of the rest of us auditioning for glee today why don't we have a group audition next week? We'll each have a solo part so we can all shine. Just give us a week to practise more and make sure Ryan is ready." Blaine said.

"That sounds fair, is that okay with you Ryan?" Mr Schue said. "Yeah that sounds really great. I swear I won't choke again. I can do this! Thank you for the second chance." I said. "No problem. I look forward to hearing your voice next week" he said as he and the glee club left the auditorium. "Me too" I sad laughing.

I turned to the other and gave them a huge hug. "Thank you so much guys! Seriously. I just embarrassed myself so much but you helped me get back up again. Are you sure you want to audition with me?" I asked. "Of course!" Blaine said. "Totes" Sugar added. "It's all or nothing dude. If you didn't get in, we wouldn't join. We're a package deal" Sam said smiling. "You guys are honestly the best. Let's start practising so" I said laughing as we walked out of the auditorium.

_I will not fail again. I'm gonna do it for my friends. I'm gonna prove to them that I can do this. They're putting their faith in me. They believe in me. If they can believe in my abilities then so can I. I can do this…_


	7. Audition Again

**6: Audition… Again**

_So the audition was embarrassing. Seriously embarrassing! I can't believe I choked! Well actually I can believe it. I can't believe I let myself choke… But what's done is done. I have to get back up and try again. I'm so grateful that Blaine, Sam and Sugar decided to help me out again by auditioning with me. They're honestly so nice and I haven't even known them properly for long. I'm really lucky to have met them. Not only am I gonna do this and conquer my fear for myself, I'm gonna do it for them. I owe them that after all they've done for me._

**/**

**Saturday: **

The four of us were sitting around on Sugar's bed planning how to audition for Glee club while also helping me to overcome the shyness. "Well I think we should get you to sing a few more times in front of us, just you to get used to it some more, while also practising the group number." Blaine said. "Yeah I agree that I need to get used to singing by myself. I'm so sick of this whole thing guys, seriously, I don't even know what's wrong with me. Why can't I just sing? I'm able to sing so why can't I just get up and do it? Why am I so fucking afraid the whole time? Sorry for the language, but it pisses me off!" I said. "Well dude you just need to remind yourself that you're really talented and that the only thing stopping you from being great is yourself. We believe in you, you just need to believe in yourself" Sam said. "God I know but believing in myself is easier said than done. I think I was born with a mental thing that stops me from believing in myself… Ugh you know what, fuck it!" I said as I stood up quickly.

_Just fucking do it!_ I opened my mouth and just went for it.

**You're so hypnotising  
could u be the devil, could you be an angel  
your touch magnetizing  
feels like going floating, leave my body glowing**

They say be afraid  
you're not like the others, futuristic lovers  
different DNA, they don't understand u

You're from a whole other/another world  
a different dimension  
you open my eyes  
and im ready to go, lead me into the light

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me  
infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison  
take me, t-t-take me  
wanna be your victim, ready for abduction  
boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away  
its supernatural, extraterrestrial

You're so super sonic  
wanna feel your powers, stun me with your lasers  
your kiss is cosmic, every move is magic

You're from a whole other/another world  
a different dimension  
you open my eyes  
and I'm ready to go, lead me into the light

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me  
infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison  
take me, t-t-take me  
wanna be your victim, ready for abduction  
boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away  
its supernatural, extraterrestrial

There is this transcendental, on another level  
boy, you're my lucky star  
i wanna walk on your wave length  
and be there when you vibrate  
for you i risk it all  
all

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me  
infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison  
take me, t-t-take me  
wanna be your victim, ready for abduction  
boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away  
its supernatural, extraterrestrial

Extraterrestrial

Extraterrestrial

Boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away  
its supernatural, extraterrestrial

They all started clapping and Sam ran up and swung his arm around me. "Ryan that was amazing as usual! You need to have that attitude all the time. I don't like cussing but like you said, Fuck it!" He said smiling.

"You're right. I really need to remember that and keep that attitude. I actually feel really free right now! I said laughing. "I just thought of a song we could do for the audition guys, 'All These Things I've Done' by the Killers. What do you guys think?" I said. "I love that song!" Sam said. "I think that would be a great song to do. It has parts that could showcase each of our different vocals. That's a great idea Ryan!" Blaine said. "I love that song too, it's totes awesome!" Sugar said smiling. "Well I guess that's our audition song then!" I said. "Let's get practising!" _I'm not nervous anymore._

**/**

**Friday:**

_We've been practising for almost a week now and today is the moment of truth. It's actually going really great. I'm getting more and more confident everyday!_

I had just finished gym, my last class of the day before the glee audition. It was pretty terrible as usual. I fell over, missed the ball, all the usual! But anyways… I took my time changing when I got to the locker room. I was tired and sore and I wanted to take it easy before the big audition. I had a half an hour before it was on anyway so I had plenty of time. I spent an extra few minutes in the showers, just letting the hot water run over my aching muscles. By the time I got out of the shower, the locker room was silent. _I must be the only one left. _But when I walked around the corner I saw the last person I wanted to see_; Puck_. He was there with his back turned rooting through his locker. He was in just a towel._ He may be a douche and a bully... But wow he has such a good body. _I couldn't help but gaze in amazement for a moment before registering that he was turning around. _Remember he is the douchebag that bullies and slushies you everyday! _I turned swiftly and walked over to my locker nonchalantly. "Look who it is" he grunted. "Hey" I said timidly. I grabbed my things from my locker and tried to dry off as quickly as possible. _I have to get naked in front of him. And so does he. Oh God. He'll probably find something to make fun of. I don't want him to see my body! No. Remember Ryan. Fuck it. _I dropped my towel and started drying myself, trying to ignore the fact that my bully was a few feet away. I glanced back at him for a split second. He hadn't moved. He was looking at me? After a few more seconds, I put on my boxers and turned around. I caught him looking away as I turned around. He started undressing and drying himself quickly while looking away. I tried to ignore it and keep dressing myself but I just kept thinking to myself: _Fuck It. _"So I have to ask… Why me?" I said. "What?" he said looking confused. "Why did you pick me. Why do you constantly bully me. What the hell did I do to you? Why do I deserve it?" At this point we were both almost fully dressed. He looked at me for a minute and then looked away. "You distract me" he said. He almost sounded scared. "What? What do you mean. How do I distract you?" I asked, confused. "He looked at me for a moment. He looked calm, almost friendly. But then his face changed into an expression of anger. "Fuck You! You don't get to question me! I run this school! I do whatever I want!" He yelled before grabbing his bag and storming out.

I stood there for a moment, confused. _I distract him… What does that mean? He got so defensive too._

I looked at my watch before realising that the audition was in 5 minutes. I grabbed my bag and ran out of the locker room and to the auditorium.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. Ran into Puck" I said while trying to catch my breath. "Did he do anything to you?" Sam said, concerned. "No I'm fine he didn't do anything. Anyways now isn't about him. It's about us nailing this audition and getting into Glee!" I said smiling. The four of us hugged before walking out on stage.

"Nice to see you again guys." Mr Schue said. "I'm looking forward to hearing you perform. "Why are we even here Mr Schue?" The brunette girl said. "I mean, he choked the first time so he clearly will again. Show Choir has no place for shyness!" She said rudely. "What's your name?" I asked her. "I'm the one and only Rachel Berry." "Well, Mr Schue I'd like to thank you for giving me the chance to prove Rachel Berry wrong." I said smiling. She looked shocked.

"Ok guys, whenever you're ready."

**Sugar: **

**When there's nowhere else to run****  
****Is there room for one more son****  
****One more son****  
****If you can hold on****  
****If you can hold on, hold on****  
**

**Blaine:**

**I want to stand up, I want to let go  
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't  
I want to shine on in the hearts of men  
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand**

Sam:

**Another head aches, another heart breaks  
I am so much older than I can take  
And my affection, well it comes and goes  
I need direction to perfection, no no no no**

Everyone:

**Help me out****  
****Yeah, you know you got to help me out****  
****Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner****  
****You know you got to help me out****  
**

**Ryan:**

**And when there's nowhere else to run  
Is there room for one more son  
These changes ain't changing me  
The cold-hearted boy I used to be**

Everyone:

**Yeah, you know you got to help me out  
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner  
You know you got to help me out  
You're gonna bring yourself down  
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down  
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down**

Blaine – Sam – Ryan - Sugar:

**I got soul, but I'm not a soldier  
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier  
**

**Everyone:  
Yeah, you know you got to help me out  
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner  
You know you got to help me out  
You're gonna bring yourself down  
You're gonna bring yourself down  
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the backburner  
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down**

Ryan:

**Over and again, last call for sin  
While everyone's lost, the battle is won  
With all these things that I've done  
All these things that I've done  
**

**Everyone:**

**If you can hold on  
If you can hold on**

The song ended to the sound of applause.

Mr Schue looked at us for a few moments.

"Welcome to Glee Club!" He said laughing.

Sam, Blaine, Sugar started celebrating. I was about to start celebrating, but I couldn't help but notice a familiar Mohawked teen standing up and walking from the back row to the exit.


	8. New Directions

**7: New Directions**

_So the re-audition went so great! I honestly cannot believe I was able to sing in front of everyone! I even made a bitchy comment to Rachel Berry! I like the new confidence I'm getting! I'm so happy! Anyways it's time for me and the gang's first official Glee Club practise!_

**/**

**Monday:**

The four of us walked into the choir room together. The other members were already seated and talking amongst themselves. They all stood up and began greeting all of us individually. Rachel Berry rushed straight over to me. "I've already introduced myself as Rachel Berry and I will admit that you're eventual audition was very good. But let me remind you that I am the brightest star in this very small galaxy that is New Directions". They guy in the wheelchair wheeled over to me and put out his hand. "Nice to meet you, I'm Artie." He said smiling. He was being pushed by an Asian girl with straight black hair with blue highlights and wearing a beanie hat. "I'm T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-Tina C-C-Cohen-Chang". A slim, quite feminine guy walked over next. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Kurt Hummel" He said smiling. He was closely followed by a black girl with curly brown hair. "I'm Mercedes Jones, and don't let Rachel Berry fool you. I am the star in this Glee Club." She said, complete with a sassy hand wave to boot. _Diva. She seems fun! _Last but not least there was Finn Hudson. He clambered over slowly, looking awkward as he did. "I suppose we haven't been properly introduced… I'm Finn Hudson". "That's great Finn Hudson and by the way thanks for slushying me everyday since I got here." "It wasn't just me!"

Just as he said that, Mr Schue came bursting into the room. "Well I see you've gotten acquainted with our new recruits! Glee Club is gonna be big again fast if we keep going at this rate! Now, before we get started on rehearsing numbers for Invitational's, our new recruits have prepared a number for us! Take it away guys!"

The four of us got into position.

**Sugar: **

**You think I'm pretty  
Without any make-up on  
You think I'm funny  
When I tell the punch line wrong  
I know you get me  
So I let my walls come down  
Down...**

Blaine:

**Before you met me  
I was alright  
But things were kinda heavy  
You brought me to life  
Now every February  
You'll be my Valentine,  
Valentine...**

Ryan:

**Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I  
We'll be young forever**

Blaine & Sam:

**You make me  
Feel like  
I'm living a Teenage Dream  
The way you turn me on  
I can't sleep  
Let's run away  
And don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back**

Ryan & Sugar:

**My heart stops  
When you look at me  
Just one touch  
Now baby I believe  
This is real  
So take a chance  
And don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back**

Sam:

**We drove to Cali  
And got drunk on the beach  
Got a motel and  
Built a fort out of sheets  
I finally found you  
My missing puzzle piece  
I'm complete  
**

**Ryan:  
Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I  
We'll be young forever  
**

Sam pulls Mercedes up to dance. Sugar pulls Artie. I pull Tina. Blaine pulls Kurt. Finn and Rachel get up to dance.

**Ryan & Sugar:  
You make me  
Feel like  
I'm living a Teenage Dream  
The way you turn me on  
I can't sleep  
Let's run away  
And don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back**

Blaine & Sam:

**My heart stops  
When you look at me  
Just one touch  
Now baby I believe  
This is real  
So take a chance  
And don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back**

Ryan:

**I might get your heart racing  
In my skin-tights jeans  
Be your Teenage Dream tonight  
**

**Sam:**

**Let you put your hands on me  
In my skin-tight jeans  
Be your Teenage Dream tonight  
Tonight, tonight, tonight,  
Tonight, tonight, tonight**

Ryan & Blaine:

**Yoooouuu...  
**

**Everyone:**

**You make me  
Feel like  
I'm livin' a Teenage Dream  
The way you turn me on  
I can't sleep  
Let's run away  
And don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back  
No...**

My heart stops  
When you look at me  
Just one touch  
Now baby I believe  
This is real  
So take a chance  
And don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back

I might get your heart racing  
In my skin tights jeans  
Be your Teenage Dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me  
In my skin-tight jeans  
Be your Teenage Dream tonight  


By the end of the number everyone was panting and had a smile on their face. We all sat down.

"That was fantastic guys! No down to business!" Mr Schue said. "I was thinking that we should go with 'Don't Stop Believin' with Rachel and Finn on lead. And then try 'Somebody to Love' with Rachel and Finn and Mercedes on riffs". "Um, they're the only leads? Isn't glee club supposed to be about a collection of voices singing?" Blaine asked. Sam, Sugar and I nodded in agreement. "Oh believe me, we're used to this by now" Kurt said. "Mmhmm" chimed in Mercedes. "Excuse me, but you are all singing. You're doing backup for me and Finn. We're the leads" Rachel chirped smugly. "How is that fair?" I asked. "Because we are the leads. You can't expect a solo. You're a newbie. We're original members." "Um excuse me, but New Directions only started 2 weeks ago. We're all newbie's here!" Rachel gave me a look that could kill. "Guys calm down. Rachel and Finn are the leads. But don't worry; you'll all get your chance to shine in time." Mr Schue said. I looked around at the other glee members. They all looked how I felt… Ignored…. And pissed off, except for Rachel and Finn.

"Ok it's time to practise guys!"

Glee club was almost over when 3 cheerleaders walked into the room. "Mr Schue can we steal you for a moment?" The leading blonde girl asked. "Hi Finn" she said while waving. "Yes of course Quinn. Hello Brittany, Santana." "Ok guys we'll leave it at that today. Glee club won't be on tomorrow. Coach Sylvester needs the room for something. So we'll see you back here on Wednesday!"

Everyone dispersed quickly as I walked out with the guys.

**/**

**Tuesday:**

_Gym time again. Oh Joy! I'm not looking forward to this at all, especially after what happened with Puck the last time. I'm just gonna get showered and changed as quickly as possible after so I don't have a run in with him! _

_Two minutes to go before we're finished. Then a quick shower and we'll be done._

Suddenly a whistle blows off next to my ear. "You! Pick up the equipment and put it in the storage locker after practise!"

Oh God that's gonna take at least five minutes! I'm gonna be last in the shower again. Hopefully Puck will have gone by then…

I packed up the equipment and headed into the locker room. I got undressed and headed into the showers. There was someone else in one of the cubicles. Suddenly a voice started singing…

**Hands, touchin' hands**

**Reachin' out, touchin' me, touchin' you, oh**

**Sweet Caroline**

**Good times never seemed so good**

**I've been inclined**

**To believe they never would**

_That sounded amazing._ I got on with my shower after that and walked into the locker room. I finished before the other guy. I was almost dressed when I heard the shower stopping and the sound of footsteps walking towards the locker room. I looked up to see none other than Puck walk up to his locker.

_It was **Puck** singing?_

He looked at me and looked away. I couldn't help myself. "Was that you singing in the shower?" I asked. "Well did you see anyone else in there? He snapped back. I shook my head. "Well there's your answer". He retorted. "Well I just have to say that you actually sounded really good… You should join glee club with a voice like that," I said. "Why the hell would I want to ruin my reputation by doing that?" he snarled. "Well your friend Finn is doing it." I calmly replied. "I don't give a damn what he's doing! I'm not a fucking fairy!" "Who said anything about you being a fairy Puck? You don't have to be gay to be in glee club." "Everyone in glee club is gay!" He shouted. "What the hell is your problem? Why are you so afraid of people thinking you're gay? Unless….. Wait a minute… The other day you said that I distract you… But why would I? Unless **you** are gay? Oh my God… You're gay?" I asked, dumbfounded.

Pucks eyes widened in shock. He hesitated for a moment before feebly saying "No"… "That was unconvincing…" I said. "He didn't say anything. He only had his bottom half dressed, naked from the waist up.

I walked slowly across the room, inching closer to him. He remained still, staring at me as I walked towards him. "Why aren't you telling me to get the fuck away?" I asked. No reply… He just stared at me.

I stopped inches away from him and looked him dead in the eyes. There was Silence. My heart was beating rapidly. We were both breathing heavily. After what seemed like minutes, Puck turned his head. I was about to look away when suddenly his hand grabbed the back of my head and his lips reached mine…..

**/**

After what seemed like forever, our lips parted. We were both panting with exhaustion. "That was…. Wow." I said. "Yeah…" he replied. We both walked over to the bench and sat down beside each other.

We sat there in silence for several minutes, recalling the events that had transpired only moments ago. After a while he broke the silence. "How long have you known that you were like this?" "I kind of always knew… But I suppose I definitely knew when I was about 8. I properly came to terms with it when I was about 11. I know it's really young. Nobody really knows about me though, except for my mam, sugar, Blaine and now you.". "That's cool. I won't tell anyone, obviously. I only started having these feelings this summer. I'm so confused. I like girls, but now I like guys too. I actually think I prefer guys. I can't believe I'm saying this. It's why I've gotten so much worse with this bullying thing, especially with you. I never used to be this bad!" "I understand Puck. These feelings can make people do crazy things, especially when you can't act on them. Believe me I know." I put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm really sorry Ryan. You seem like a totally nice guy and I've been making your life hell." "It's ok honestly. I understand". "I won't do anything to you again. I promise. I wish there was something I could do to make it up to you." "Hmmm well I suppose there is one thing. You could join glee club? You don't have to do it until you're ready. But it'd be a crime to not let people hear that voice of yours". "Ok it's a deal. Not yet. I have to wait till I'm ready. You've got a killer voice too Ryan. I saw you're audition". "Thanks Puck". "You can call me Noah if you want". "Ok then Noah" I said smiling "You can talk me about this whenever you need ok. I'll be here. Here's my number" "Thanks Ryan… Truce?" He said as he put out his hand. A huge grin spread across my face.

"Truce".


	9. New Interactions

**8: New Interactions**

_So yesterday was extremely eventful. Puck is gay. We have a truce. He's not bullying me anymore. I saw him on the way to lunch today. He just gave me a little nod and smiled at me! His friends probably thought they were seeing things! I still got slushied by another jock today though! Can't change everyone I suppose! Anyway on to Glee practise!_

**/**

Sugar and I walked into the choir room along with all the others. Kurt eagerly sat next to Blaine. Mercedes sat below Kurt and Sam beside Mercedes. We sat down next to Sam.

Mr Schue walked in. "Hey guys so I have some news! We have 3 new additions to the new directions! Come on in guys!" The three Cheerios from the other day walked confidently into the room with smirks on their faces. Rachel, who had been gabbing on to Finn, swerved her head to the three and her mouth dropped. "Welcome Quinn, Brittany and Santana!" Mr Schue said. "With the addition of you three we now have enough to compete at sectionals!"

The 3 girls sat down next to us, with Santana sitting right next to me. I looked at her and said "Nice to meet you, I'm Ryan. You're Santana right?" She looked at me like I had two heads. "Ok first of all, everyone knows who I am. Second, what is that accent? You sound like a mix between harry potter and a sleepy Mexican." She said laughing. "Wow… you're an absolute bitch… And the country you're looking for is Ireland" I retorted. "Well, _Irish_, I gotta give you credit. Most guys wouldn't have the balls to cal me a bitch. Cause they know I can crush their popularity _and_ their balls." She said smirking. "Well to be perfectly honest 1.) I couldn't give a flying fuck about popularity, and 2.) You won't be getting anywhere near these balls love" I said winking at her. "Hmmm well I like a challenge… You know what Irish, I like you" she said with a smile on her face. "Why thank you Santana" I said. "Are you an alien? You speak funny?" The girl beside Santana chimed in… Brittany. "Um no, I'm from Ireland Brittany, I'm Ryan." "Ooooh does that mean you're a leprechaun?" She said excitedly.

_Wow this girl is innocent._

"Um, no… The leprechauns are from a different part of Ireland. They live up north!" I said as I winked at Santana. "Oooh well you'll have to catch one for me sometime Ryan Leprechaun. Why aren't you wearing green?" "Irish people don't have to just wear green Brittany".

She looked utterly confused.

I could already see new friendships forming with everyone. Kurt seemed to take an immediate liking to Blaine, which is not surprising since Blaine is the only out gay kid and I'm pretty sure Kurt is gay. Kurt and Mercedes seemed to be great friends already. Sugar was getting along great with Mercedes. Tina and Artie seemed to get along quite well. Although Tina seemed quite shy she also seemed really nice to everyone. I want to get to know her a bit more. Sam was getting along well with Artie and also with Finn a little... Eww. Rachel didn't seem to care much about the group aside from Finn. You'd think they were a couple if it weren't for Quinn. Quinn hadn't exactly spoken to anyone, aside from Finn, Brittany and Santana. She seemed like the popular girl stereotype, insanely good looks and an Ice cold personality. I was actually surprisingly getting along well with Brittany and Santana. Santana made bitchy remarks but they were pretty funny. Aside from that she seems pretty nice.

_All in all, I really like the guys in this club. Well aside, from Finn._

**/**

**A few days later:**

_I'm loving glee club so far. Aside from Finn being the lead. It's horrible having to constantly sing backup to someone that is a worse singer than all of the other guys in the club! Seriously any of us guys, Kurt, Blaine, Sam, Artie, hell even me and my shyness could lead the club better. Finn is an ok singer but seriously he needs work and practise. He can't dance either! This is glee club! You need to be able to dance and sing! He doesn't know any of the songs we're doing either. He just wants 'manly' songs! How is that fair? It seriously pisses me off… I probably won't be able to take it much longer before I say something!_

**/**

**Two weeks later:**

_So the last two weeks have been eventful to say the least… Let's see… Well Mercedes dated **Kurt!** Well for like a day but still… Mr Schue became disillusioned with Glee…. After like 3 weeks… So he formed a new group called the Acafellas. Then two of the guys quit so he recruited Finn and **Puck**… He text me and told me that this was his way of trying to practise for Glee. So it was all good I suppose. So while Mr Schue was gone the glee club decided to enlist the help of the scary midget choreographer Dakota Stanley. That ended well anyway! He made fun of each and every one of us (aside from the Cheerios) so we ended up firing him. I also saw Vocal Adrenaline perform for the first time and let me say, wow. We have some competition! Anyways so after only one performance of the Acafellas, they disbanded and Mr Schue and his funky moves returned to the New Directions!_

_This week was even odder… So from what I hear from Blaine and Brittany… Kurt's dad walked in on him dancing to Single Ladies in a leotard with Tina and Brittany and somehow it ended with him joining the football team as Kicker. So leading on from this, Kurt ended up teaching the entire football team the Single Ladies dance. Which then ended with them scoring the winning touchdown and winning their first game of the season… Thanks to Kurt! Leading on from this, Kurt came out to everyone after coming out to Mercedes the week before and his Dad after the game. This then led to two guys from the football team joining the team. An Asian guy called Mike Chang and none other than **Puck! **Mr Schuealso gave a solo from West Side Story to Tina and of course Rachel had a hissy fit which led to her quitting the club to join the schools rendition of Cabaret. I know she's annoying and all but seriously she does have an amazing voice! We need her!_

_All of those events bring me to this moment, me standing in my doorway looking at a rain-drenched Puck. He looked like he had been crying._

"I need to talk to you Ryan"

"Sure Puck what's up?"

"I knocked up my best friend's girlfriend".


	10. Revelations

**9: Revelations**

"I knocked up my best friend's girlfriend".

There was silence for a few seconds.

"Wait, what?" I said, unable to process the news.

"You heard me Ryan… can we go for a drive?"

"Yeah, Ok" I said, dumbfounded.

I shouted to my mam that I was meeting my friends and then followed Puck to his truck and clambered into the passenger seat. He drove out of the driveway and off we went.

"Do you wanna talk about it now? Or wait a while?" I asked.

"Let's wait… I know where we can go".

**/**

We sat in silence for the entire car journey. I wanted to ask him so many things but I knew I couldn't force it out of him. He would say it when he was ready. After about 35 minutes of driving we arrived and what looked like a sort of cliff, obviously not a real cliff but a canyon of sorts. It was starting to get dark so you could see the sun starting to set beyond the 'cliff'. Puck got out of the truck and I followed. He went to a big boulder and sat down on it, motioning for me to sit next to him.

We sat again in silence for several minutes before Puck burst into tears.

"I fucked up Ryan!"

"Calm down Noah. It's ok. We'll get you through this. Explain to me how this happened."

I put my hand on his and the other hand around his shoulders. He lay into me for a minute as he tried to choke back the tears before beginning to talk.

"It happened a few weeks ago before school started. The day before it happened, I had my first real fantasy of a guy. I got so freaked out Ryan. I had never thought anything like that before and suddenly I was fantasizing about being with a guy? I dunno where the hell it came from!"

"Noah it can happen like that. Sometimes you always know that you're gay or bi. But other times you could just wake up one ay and realise it."

"I know that now… At the time I got so freaked out. I had enjoyed the thoughts I was having. I tried to forget about it. But I couldn't… The next day it happened again. When I was trying to think about girls, I could only think about guys. It was so frustrating! I needed to just get drunk and forget about everything so I went to one of the Cheerios parties.

Quinn was there. Finn wasn't, said he was helping his mom do something. I ended up drinking like 10 wine coolers. I ended up talking to Quinn. I was talking to her and telling her how lucky she had it. Being with the star quarterback and being the most popular girl at school. She didn't agree. She had had a few wine coolers too. Eventually everybody left the party, except for us two. We were still talking. She kept telling me how much she hated her body. That she was fat and hideous. I told her she wasn't fat…. One thing led to another and we ended up doing it… I couldn't help myself. I was so confused about liking guys and I was trying to forget about it. I needed to prove to myself that I wasn't gay. "

"You're not gay… you're bi…" I said quietly.

"Uh… yeah I know".

"So yesterday Finn came up to me and told me that Quinn is pregnant. He thinks he's the father…. But he hasn't even had sex with her… I confronted Quinn and it's true. She's pregnant. She doesn't want me to have anything to do with the baby. I don't exist… But I'm the father. Bi or not, I have to look after my kid!"

"I completely understand Noah…. I'd be the same… Are you sure she's going to even keep the baby? Maybe she's giving it up for adoption, Or maybe even… abortion?"

He started crying again…

"Oh fuck! She can't do that. It's my kid! I don't care if I'm bi. I don't wanna be with Quinn! But I'll do it for the sake of the kid! I can provide for them! I'm not a Lima Loser!"

"Noah you definitely are not a Lima Loser… Everything you've just said proves that a million times over. The baby isn't bored and you're already a great dad… More than I can say for mine."

"Mine too."

"We should probably talk about that another time. Look obviously abortion is off the cards then, but what about adoption? I know you could take care and provide for the baby. You're not rich but of course you could manage. But you need to remember… You're both still in high school. Raising that baby, as two single parents no less, could risk you not graduating, and not being able to give the baby the life he or she deserves. What if you can't afford college tuition because you couldn't get a well paying job, because you never got to college yourself…? You're not a Lima Loser Noah… I think you have potential for a lot more than staying in this town. I know this is a shit situation… But you have to try and think of what's best for not only the baby, but for you and Quinn too."

"Ryan you're completely right… But it really doesn't matter what I think. Even if Quinn wants to keep the baby, she wants Finn to be the father, not me. If she keeps the baby then I'm going to support her, regardless of whether I have to do it in secret with cheques so Finn doesn't find out. But if she puts it up for adoption, then maybe that's for the best."

"I agree with you Noah… I think you need to tell Quinn that. Just that if she decides to keep the baby, that you'll support her. I suppose we just have to wait and see how this pans out, for now at least."

"Yeah, I suppose so."

Puck took my hand and squeezed tightly. "Thanks Ryan. I'm glad I could talk to you about this… I didn't have anyone else to talk to. The one other person I talk to about this kinda thing is Finn… But, you know…"

"I know Puck. Don't worry at all. Once you strip back the cool exterior, you're a really sound guy. Sound means awesome or cool, we say it in Ireland. I really like this side to, the real you… It seems anyway."

"I really like you too Ryan. Like a lot… I don't do these types of feelings. Before this summer I was a sex shark! But I do really like you. You were my first guy kiss and I actually would like to do more boyfriend things with you… But I just don't think I can with everything that's going on. I hope you understand…"

"Puck I completely understand. I really like you but I wasn't expecting anything to happen. I would love to just be friends with you. Who knows what will happen in the future. We can be great friends…. And hey, you'll always be my first ever kiss, and it was pretty fucking great, may I add!" I said smiling.

"You never kissed anyone before me?" He asked, shocked.

"Yeah… I've know for so long that I was into guys that kissing a girl didn't even cross my mind."

"Wow… That's crazy… Um well I suppose before we go home… We could have one more kiss… Before we become just friends?" He asked nervously.

I grinned from ear to ear. "I'd love that Noah" I said before leaning in and softly pressing my lips against his.

**/**

After a while our lips parted.

"That was great" I said smiling, before placing a quick peck on the other boy's warm lips. "So… Friends? I said grinning.

We both started laughing. "Friends." Puck said. "We should probably get back soon. Your mom will be wondering where you are, But first… Um… Could we just sit here for a few more minutes and cuddle… I know we're just friends. But I don't show this side of me to anyone… It's rare for me to be able to do this with someone."

"That's fine Noah. We can do it whenever you want. We can be cuddle friends" I said laughing.

We sat there for about another half and hour in comfortable silence, cuddled into each other, enjoying the warmth and friendly closeness, before we got up and Puck drove me home.

_I can't help but feel terrible about Puck's situation. I dunno what I'd do if it was me! I'm just gonna do whatever I can to help him. He has more than proved himself after his bullying at the start of the year._

**/**

**The next day:**

Lunch had just started. I was walking over to our usual table where Sugar, Sam, Blaine and Kurt were sitting. Mercedes, Artie, Tina and Mike were at the table beside them. Before walking over to them, I made a quick detour over to where Puck was standing alone.

"Hey Puck… You ok?" I asked.

"Hey… Yeah I'm ok… Just still feel kinda weird about the whole Quinn thing. I can't sit down with the jocks. I can't deal with them right now."

"Well why don't you sit with us? I asked.

"But none of your friends like me. After everything I did to them, especially you, I don't blame them." He said.

"Noah we are friends now! You said sorry for everything and I forgive you. I'll explain that to them and after that you can apologise to them too. If I can forgive you then they can do. You don't have to tell them anything about what we have talked about. Only Sugar and Blaine know about me so don't worry. Only when you and I are both ready! I said smiling.

"Yeah, ok. Thanks Ryan. You're too nice to me" He said smiling."

"I try" I said winking. "Now let's go sit down!"

We walked over to the table. There was no need to get my friends attention… They were all already looking at us in shock.

"Hey guys. So I've some news! Puck and I have worked out our differences and now we're friends! I said smiling. "Now he wants to say a few things." I said before sitting down next to Sugar and Sam.

"Hey. So I know that I've been a big dick to all of you guys. I bullied you all for no reason at all. I've locked some of you in port-a-potties, thrown some of you in dumpsters and thrown slushies at you. I just want to say that I am so sorry for being such a dick to you all. I know that doesn't make up for what I've done. But I hope you can forgive me and I will keep trying to be a better person earn your respect."

He stood there, awkwardly looking at my friends for any sign of compassion or forgiveness.

Blaine was the first to break the ice. "I forgive you Puck. Like you said, it doesn't make up for what you've done, especially to Ryan. But it's a start."

"I agree" Kurt chimed in.

"We agree too!" Artie said for the table.

"Ryan is like my brother Puck! You treated him horribly! But I suppose if he can forgive you then so can I! But I'm watching you! Sugar said while pointing dramatically at him.

Sam remained silent and stony faced.

"Sam? What do you think?" I asked him.

"I think it's a load of bull. How can he just say sorry out of the blue and expect us to forgive him after everything?" He said angrily. "He treated you like shit!"

Puck looked nervous.

"Sam please calm down. I understand where you're coming from. But Puck and I have worked out our differences. He has said sorry and I have forgiven him. I know it doesn't make up for everything. But it's a start! And this is another step in the right direction. He is trying to make amends… I understand if you can't forgive him… But please just try and do it for me ok?" I said, looking straight at him.

He took a few seconds to respond.

…."Ok… I'm doing this for you." He said "Sit down" He said quickly to Puck.

"Thanks Sam" I said smiling. He gave a quick half-hearted smile but didn't look to happy.

"Thank you everyone. I will prove to you that I' a good guy. I swear!" Puck said as he sat down in between me and Blaine.

For the next few minutes everyone was getting properly acquainted with Puck, aside from Sam who remained very quiet.

"Guys, I have some news" Blaine said after a few minutes. "Kurt and I have started dating." He said smiling.

"Oh wow Blaine, Kurt congratulations! That's great!" I said smiling, Sam and Sugar smiling and nodding in agreement.

"Congrats dudes" Puck said smiling. Blaine and Kurt looked slightly taken aback for a split second before smiling again and thanking Puck.

"Guys I suppose this is a good time to say too, Tina and I are dating too" Artie said.

"T-t-t-totally" Tina said smiling.

Congratulations went all around the table and the rest of the lunch break flew by in a blur of happiness and laughter.

**/**

**Three weeks later:**

_A few things have happened in the last few weeks. Mr Schue found an ex student who still needed to graduate, in order to replace Rachel, April Rhodes. She was amazing but she was a huge alcoholic and so she quit and then Rachel came back to New Directions and we sang at Invitational's and now we were a big happy glee club family again! _

_The week after we had a Boys vs. girls competition with the guidance counsellor, Miss Pillsbury, as an extra judge. There was no winner cause both teams used these vitamin things to enhance the performance. So kinda like steroids. Not good!_

_This week was crazy… Ms Sylvester became co-captain of glee. She took over all minority students so Mr Schue only had Rachel, Finn, Quinn, Brittany and Puck left. It all worked out ok in the end in terms of the club becoming one again. But a problem happened…. Sue Sylvester found out about Quinn being pregnant and she kicked her off the Cheerios! We sang 'Keep Holding On' as a way to help her after that. During the performance Finn took both Quinn and Rachel's hands. I could see Puck looking at Quinn and Finn._

_I know he doesn't want to be with Quinn. But I'm worried that he is not gonna be able to resist telling Finn the truth so as to be able to take care of the baby…. _


	11. Friendly Duets

**10: Friendly Duets**

**Two weeks later:**

_The last two weeks have been relatively uneventful. Rachel tried to date Puck! Since she's getting nowhere with Finn, she went after Puck but obviously he told her no. If only she knew! So Coach Tanaka got really pissed off with the glee club, don't ask me why! But he did! He gave the football players an Ultimatum; Football or Glee. Finn chose football. Mike and Puck chose Glee. No losses with Finn! But he ended up coming back almost straight away so I didn't get a Finn-free glee club for long!_

_Last week was fun! We had to raise money in order to get a wheelchair accessible bus for Artie so he can go to Sectionals. We held a bake sale… And that was just so fun! We sold one cupcake! Mr Schue also forced us to all go around in a wheelchair for an entire school day, so we know how Artie feels. It was so difficult to learn. _

_Kurt and Rachel had a Diva Off after he got sick of her always getting the solo. They did Defying Gravity from Wicked. Unfortunately he messed up one of the notes, so Rachel got the part._

_One definitely eventful thing happened. Puck and Finn had a big fight. Puck went off on one and accused Finn of being a future deadbeat dad…. And to be honest he wasn't wrong. But anyways, Puck seems to be on edge about this baby thing more and more everyday. He is fine around the guys and me, but when he sees Finn and Quinn it's a different story._

**/**

Puck, Sugar, Sam, Blaine, Kurt, Mercedes, Artie, Tina, Mike and I were all sitting on the steps outside the school. We had a half an hour to waste before Glee Club started.

"How have you never watched Harry Potter?" I asked Puck and Mercedes, shock etched into not only my face, but Blaine's as well. "I don't need no magic fantasy world! I'm magic enough as it is!" Mercedes said laughing while doing her and Kurt's special handshake. "Oh of course, how could we forget about that?" Sam said sarcastically, while fist bumping me. "That's no excuse Mercedes. I'm even more fabulous and magic than you and I have seen all the movies and even read some of the books… Well… I got the nanny to read the books to me… But still! I didn't like it until Ryan, Sam and Blaine convinced me it was actually really cool" Sugar said enthusiastically. "Exactly! You have no excuse Mercedes!" I said, feigning seriousness. "Well what about you Puck? What's your excuse?" Kurt asked. "I just never had the time! Being such a popular badass and playing football and still trying to play videogames takes time! I'm too busy!" Well what about all the times you've been to the movies with a girl? You've never seen a Harry Potter movie ever?" Blaine asked, still shocked. "Well I usually don't watch the movie if you know what I mean" Puck said smugly. He glanced at me quickly and smirked. _If only they knew!_

"Well that settles it! I'm organising for all of us to watch the Harry Potter movies. From start to finish! And all of you are coming! No one is cancelling!" Blaine and Sam looked especially enthusiastic. "Guys you can come to my house for it! Ryan and I will organise it together and we can use my movie theatre!" Sugar said. "Great idea BMA" I said smiling.

"Well, well, well, correct me if I'm wrong but I think I just heard you organise the weirdest sounding orgy ever… Where are mine and Britt's invite?" Santana said as walked over to us, pinky linked with Brittany.

"Wow Santana you actually wanna go? I never would have thought the supreme bitch of McKinley High would want to come to a Harry Potter movie marathon." I said.

"Why wouldn't I wanna go? Movies theatres are dark, and a lotta things can happen in the dark" She said seductively, while winking.

"Ok… anyways yeah you and Britt can come. Guys, is it ok if Rachel, Finn and Quinn don't come? Like Quinn hasn't even spoken a work to more than half of us since she joined. Finn is the mayor of douche town and let's be honest Rachel will ask Finn to go and also will talk through the entire movie. Any objections?" I said.

No one seemed to mind. "Ok cool so Sugar and I will start organising this and we'll let you know the details!"

The bell rang at that moment and we all started to get ready to walk into the choir room for glee club.

"Ryan, can I talk to you for a sec? Sam said.

"Yeah of course, I said smiling. "I'll you in there guys" I said to the others.

Sam waited until everyone else had gone inside to start talking. He looked confused, a little upset and a little angry.

"Do you prefer Puck over us? Do you just want to be popular?" He said quickly, staring straight at me.

"What? No, of course not! Why would you think that? I said, shocked and hurt.

"You don't spend anytime with us now unless Puck is there! You always go and talk to him first! I feel like you've forgotten about us!"

"Oh my god Sam, I don't mean to make you feel like that. I didn't realise I was doing that! I'm so sorry! Like I told you, Puck came and apologised to me. We've been hanging out so much because he is going through some personal things and he confided in me. I would tell but that's not my place to say. I'm just trying to help him out. He is really a nice guy when you get to know him. I know it's hard to forget about what he has done to us."

"I'm going through personal stuff too! I can't go to anyone about it! I need a friend but you're too busy with your new best friend!"

"Sam I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything! You know that! I'm here for you! Puck is not my best friend! He is now a good friend of mine, but he's not my best friend! You, Sugar and Blaine are! I already knew Sugar before I moved here, so you were the first proper friend that I made here. **You** are my best friend! Not Puck!"

Sam looked at me for a few seconds before a tear began falling down his cheek. "Sam, don't cry!"

"I'm sorry Ryan… I overreacted. I just don't wanna lose you! You are my best friend, even more so than Sugar and Blaine. You were my first friend I made here too! I felt like you were forgetting about me and I couldn't help jealous! I'm sorry".

"C'mere Sam" I motioned for him to come closer to me. He walked over and I gave him a quick hug. "Don't cry. I understand where you're coming from. I have been kind of neglecting you and the guys for Puck lately. But just remember, you are my best friend, not Puck. Remember that, I said smiling.

"Thanks Ryan" he replied, a huge smile appearing on his huge lips.

"So do you wanna talk about your personal thing?" I asked him.

"It's nothing. I just like someone. I don't think the person will ever like me or want to be with me".

"Sam, don't say that! Any girl would be lucky to have you! Who is it?" I asked.

At that moment Sugar came running out to us. "Guys Mr Schue is looking for you! You're late!"

"Crap we better go quick. We'll talk about this again ok Sam!"

"Maybe" He said quickly before the three of us ran to the choir room.

**/**

"Ok guys now that Ryan and Sam are here we can start the lesson!" Mr Schue said. "So I have found out that as a requirement for Sectionals, we have to perform at least one ballad. Can anyone tell me what a ballad is?"

"It's a male duck" Brittany said smiling.

Mr Schue looked confused for a second before asking Kurt.

"A ballad is a love song" he said confidently while looking at Blaine endearingly.

"Sometimes, but they don't always express love. Ballads are stories set to music, which is why they're the perfect storm of self expression. Stories and music are the way we express feelings that we can't get out any other way. So I was thinking that you can pair up this week and perform a duet for us. It can be a ballad or a song that you think tells a good story or would work well in Sectionals! I have all of your names in a hat. Since there's an uneven amount of people, one person will have to duet with me. So Finn why don't you go first"

Finn walked up and pulled out a piece of paper that said "Brittany".

Puck walked up and got "Mercedes".

Blaine got "Kurt".

Mike got "Tina".

Artie got "Sugar".

Sam got "Quinn".

I got "Santana".

"I Looks like I get you Mr Schue", Rachel said.

"I think we should show the club how to do a perfect ballad. Brad, 'Endless Love' in B Flat please." She said confidently. "It's my favourite duet."

"I really don't think that's an appropriate song Rachel." Mr Schue said.

"Why? It's a great song and the perfect ballad!" She said.

"Yeah, I really like that song Mr Schue" Finn said as everyone laughed.

They sang the song great as per usual. It was funny thought because Rachel seemed to be giving Mr Schue these really intense looks, as if she was into him! Needless to say, he looked freaked out!

We just did some vocal exercises after that and the bell rang soon after. Before everyone left, each pair sorted out when to meet up so as to work on their duet.

"Yo, Irish. I'll be at your house at 6 after Cheerios practise. Make sure you've got lots of breadsticks and you better make sure you bring it!" Santana said before quickly walking out the door.

_I'm in for a rough night…._

**/**

I was sitting in my living room peering out the window for a half an hour before Santana eventually arrived.

"You're half an hour late" I told her.

"You're point?" She said before walking in.

"Whatever. My room is upstairs and the first door to the right. Do you want a drink or anything before we start?" I said.

"I needs my breadsticks" She said before striding up the stairs.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed the breadsticks and two drinks before heading back upstairs and into my room. My mam stopped me on the stairs telling me that she had talked to Santana for a minute when I was getting the food, and that she was a lovely person!

"So how come you're nice to my mam when you're a bitch to everyone else?" I asked.

"I'm just 'honest' to people who deserve it, and parents love me".

"Wow well that's great Santana. So what do you think we should sing? We need to tell a story or something."

"I don't have any stories. We all know my purpose in glee is to look good."

"C'mon you must have something! First loves, getting you're heart broken, forbidden love, are you secretly a lesbian? That would be story telling gold!"

Her eyes widened. "What the fuck! No! I don't have any stories! You pick something!"

"Ok ok calm down! I was only joking! Look I'll pick something. I actually have an idea. It's not a conventional slow ballad, but it definitely tells a story. There's choreography with it so if you can help me a bit, we could add dancing in too… What do you think?"

"Yeah we can do that" She said.

"Ok well let's get practising then" I said smiling.

**/**

We finished practising about 3 hours later, both of us exhausted from the workout. We actually started getting along a little better. We were able to talk about things other than Santana, and she also didn't insult me every two seconds!

"Oh by the way, did you hear what Puck told Mercedes?" She asked me. I shook my head. "Puck told her that Finn's not Quinn's babydaddy, he is!"

_Oh no he's after letting the secret out! Calm down Ryan. Don't act like you know something._

"Holy shit seriously? Woah that's big… Does Finn know now?"

"Nope Mercedes told Puck to stay away from Quinn and that the baby's better off without him. Anyways, it's been fun, Irish. But I gots to go! We're gonna kill it tomorrow!" She said before smiling and walking out the door.

Once Santana had left I got out my phone and sent Puck a text.

**R u ok? Santana told me wat happened. **

My phone buzzed after a few minutes.

**Ye Im ok. I was just angry. They wont say anything. Talk to u 2morro x**

**/**

**The next day: **

We all sat down in the choir room just before glee started. I could hear muttering and phones beeping. They were obviously still talking about Puck's big revelation. I feel bad for him.

Mr Schue walked into the room. "Ok guys, its duet time! Finn, Brittany, how about you go first!"

"Ok Mr Schue. I still don't really know what a ballad is but this is the closest thing I could get Brittany to sing that didn't involve ducks" Finn said.

They then sang "Everybody Wants to be a Cat" from Aristocats….

"Ok guys…. That was… interesting… Mike, Tina. You're up!"

Tina stood in the centre of the room and belted out Christina Aguilera's "Reflections" while Mike danced around her.

"That was great guys. I know it wasn't technically a duet but still really great! Puck, Mercedes. You're turn!"

Puck got up and started to belt out "Lady Is a Tramp" before Mercedes chimed in and they both danced together.

Next was Sugar and Artie. He started off by rapping the chorus to "Super Bass" before Sugar sang the chorus.

"That was great guys but it's not really a ballad…" Mr Schue said.

"Yes it is! It's about a girl who really likes this guy and he makes her heart act like a super bass! It's a fun love story!" Sugar reasoned.

Blaine and Kurt were up. They sang "Candles" by "Hey Monday". The song was really cute!

Next were Sam and Quinn. They sang the song "Lucky". They were both really good together. He played his guitar during the song. They were swaying really close together and had great chemistry.

"Guys that was amazing! Now that is what I call a ballad!" Mr Schue said clapping. "Ryan, Santana, you've got some tough competition!

"Ok Mr Schue, so I know this isn't a ballad in the conventional sense. But I think that this song tells a strong story and relates to both mine and Santana's dreams.

**Santana:**

I'm gonna marry the night  
I won't give up on my life  
I'm a warrior queen  
Live passionately tonight

**Ryan:**  
I'm gonna marry the dark  
Gonna make love to the stark  
I'm a soldier to my own emptiness  
I am a winner

I'm gonna marry the night  
I'm gonna marry the night  
I'm gonna marry the night

**Both:**  
I'm gonna marry the night  
I'm not gonna cry anymore  
I'm gonna marry the night  
Leave nothing on these streets to explore  
M-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night  
Oh m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night

**Ryan:**  
I'm gonna lace up my boots  
Throw on some leather and cruise  
Down the street that I love  
In my fishnet gloves  
I'm a sinner

**Santana:**  
Then I'll go down to the bar  
But I won't cry anymore  
I hold my whiskey up high  
Kiss the bartender twice  
I'm a loser

**Ryan:**  
I'm gonna marry the night  
I'm gonna marry the night

**Both:**  
I'm gonna marry the night  
I'm not gonna cry anymore  
I'm gonna marry the night  
Leave nothing on these streets to explore  
M-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night  
Oh m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night

**Ryan:**  
Nothing's too cool  
To take me from you  
New York is not just a tan  
That you'll never loose

**Santana:**  
Love is the new  
Denim or black  
Skeleton guns  
Or wedding bells in the attic

Get Ginger ready  
Climb the El Camino front  
Won't poke holes in the seats with my heels  
'Cause that's where we make love

**Ryan:**  
Come on and run  
Turn the car on and run

**Both:**  
I'm gonna marry the night  
I'm gonna burn a hole in the road  
I'm gonna marry the night  
Leave nothin' on these streets to explode  
M-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night  
Oh m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night

Oh m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night  
I'm gonna marry, marry  
I'm gonna marry, marry  
Come on, come on

The night, the night, the night  
The night, the night, the night  
The night, the night, the night  
The night, the night, the night  
The night, the night

"Wow guys that was awesome! The song was a ballad in terms of story telling, but you were able to incorporate fast choreography in there too. That's an edge we could use in sectionals! Well done!" Mr Schue said.

The bell rang soon after and we all began to leave the choir room. Sam, Sugar and I left together. "You guys were so good in you're duets! I told them. "So were you dude. That was a great idea you had, I didn't know you could dance that well." Sam said smiling. "Well that was all Santana; she showed me what to do and helped me practise." "It was almost as good as my dancing!" Sugar said enthusiastically, "Anyways I have to go, my dads home tonight so I wanna see him when he's home. Catch you guys later!" She said before running off.

Sam and I walked out of the school and cut through the park on our way home.

"So how was your duet with Quinn? You two sure seemed to have a lot of chemistry up there." I said.

"It was fun. But there's no chemistry" Sam said.

"You just seemed like a good match, you're voices complimented each other….Wait a minute. You like someone… But you think they won't like you back… Woah do you like Quinn?" I asked.

"What, no I don't! We don't even have good chemistry. She was a bitch when we were rehearsing for the duet!"

"Why do I get the feeling you're lying… It's ok Sam you can tell me. I won't judge."

"I don't like Quinn. She's not the person I like! The person I like will never like me back!"

And with that he stormed off.

"Sam!" I called after him but he never answered.

I walked the rest of the way home alone.

**/**

The next day I talked to Sam and he seemed fine. He seemed to have forgotten all about his outburst the day before. Or he just didn't want to talk about it.

Towards the end of the week s more baby drama happened. Finn apparently sang a song (You're Having My Baby) to Quinn while at dinner at her parent's house. Needless to say her Dad was supremely pissed off and he kicked her out. So Quinn is now living with Finn.

Puck says he's fine with it… But I know he's not…

After the drama went on the whole club worked together and surprised Finn and Quinn with a performance of Lean on Me, showing that no matter what, we are there to support them… Even me with Finn… We fight and all but if the outside enemy (jocks and the 'populars') threatens us, we'll stick together.

At this point, we're all just a big dysfunctional family…


	12. Sectionals Surprises

**11: Sectionals Surprises**

**Monday: **

_It's Sectionals week! What the actual fuck! Time is flying by so fast here in Ohio! It feels like only yesterday that I was only starting out here and I only knew Sugar, but then Sam came along, and then Blaine and finally Puck! I still can't believe I'm actually at this point, about to enter into my first competition as a part of New Directions, when only a few short months ago I couldn't sing in front of a single person. Thinking back now… I wouldn't be at this point if it weren't for Sam, Sugar and Blaine. They just really helped me so much, which is why I've decided to come out to Sam. I figure since Sugar, Blaine and Puck already know then he has a right to know. I'm not worried, because he's one of my best friends and he's so accepting and sure Blaine is gay, and he's one of both Sam and mines best friend! I'm gonna say it to Sugar and Blaine first to see what they think._

**/**

_A lot has happened in the last two weeks, a lot of drama with the glee club and with the whole Puck/Finn/Quinn situation. Two weeks ago, Mr Schue brought one of the glee clubs we're competing against to the auditorium to show us what they got, The Jane Addams Academy Girls Choir. They were pretty damn good. Rachel told us that they were using 'Hairography', which is basically swishing around your hair to distract from the fact that you're not great singers or dancers. Nevertheless, Mr Schue bought all the guys wigs and made us perform using hairography for the other competing choir, Haverbrook School for the Deaf. It didn't work out and we looked kinda ridiculous so the idea was scrapped. _

_Quinn started having second thoughts about putting the baby up for adoption… She decided to test Puck by having him help her babysit Mr Schue's three nephews from his wife Terri's side. It actually went well… They were able to take care of the kid's just fine. Unfortunately Quinn noticed that Puck was constantly texting someone. He was texting me, telling me how he was getting on and about Quinn and the whole situation. He couldn't tell her he had confided in me, so he told her he was sexting Santana… Straight away she decided to put the baby back up for adoption. Puck told me some crazy news after that. Terri, Mr Schue's wife, wasn't pregnant but Mr Schue thought she was! She was going to take Quinn's baby and pretend that it was hers!_

_Last week was eventful too… It was time for the school yearbook photo. But Sue forced Principal Figgins to revoke our page in the yearbook. I know it wasn't fair but after Kurt explained that every glee club photo always gets mercilessly defaced, I was happy we weren't getting a photo. However Rachel was not happy and she made sure we got some form of a picture. They could only fit two in the picture but only Rachel wanted to do it. At the shoot she got talking to the photographer and he was able to get the entire club to star in a mattress commercial! Our payment was a mattress for each of us! But then Sue saw the commercial and we almost got banned from Sectionals because apparently any form of paying advertisement equals an instant disqualification. We couldn't take the mattresses back as one had been slept on, by Mr Schue. He took the blame for it and got fired as show choir director… So we can compete in Sectionals but not with Mr Schue. Ms Pillsbury is gonna be our stand in director, on her wedding day. Turns out that Mr Schue found out about Terri's fake pregnancy and he slept in his office on one of the mattresses. I feel really bad for him but at least now he knows the truth. I wonder what Quinn is gonna do about the baby now? She'll probably put it up for adoption still. It turns out that we got a yearbook photo after all, thanks to Quinn. We all decided to look out best, for Mr Schue…_

**/**

**Monday: **

Blaine, Sugar and I were walking to school. Winter was definitely beginning to set in. It was now the start of December. Our last week before Christmas holidays (vacation). Sam had gone for an early morning run so he was probably in the school gym by now, practising before class.

"So guy I need to talk to you about something." I said. "Yeah sure Ryan what's up?" Blaine said. "You ok?" Sugar said, looking slightly worried.

"Yeah I'm fine" I said smiling. "I've been thinking about it for the last few weeks and I want to come out to Sam. He's our best friend and he's the only one that doesn't know yet. I feel bad keeping the secret from him. Lately he's seemed a little… I dunno… Stressed, I suppose. He got really jealous of me being friends with Puck and just seems kinda on edge lately with me. So hopefully telling him this will make him feel a bit better. What do you guys think? When should I tell him?" I said.

"Well I for one think it's a great idea as long as you think you're ready and comfortable with the decision. You seem to be anyway. You should probably wait till after Sectionals because if we win, we'll probably have a celebration, or if we lose we'll probably get together to drown our sorrows so either way it'll be an excuse to talk to him about it." Blaine said.

"I think it's a great idea Ryan!" But I do get what he's saying about you and Puck." Sugar said.

"Wait, what?" I said. "Are you two jealous of Puck as well?" I asked, slightly astonished.

"I'm not jealous but you have been spending a lot of time with him compared to us! He was so mean to you before this!" Sugar said.

"I'm not jealous either. I get it Ryan. You two are friends now. You have to be able to spend time together. I suppose I've been kinda neglecting you guys lately too cause I've been spending so much time with Kurt." Blaine said, slightly guilty.

"Guys, please understand… I want you guys to become friends with Puck too! He confided in me some issues he's been having and I've been trying to help him deal with them! It's his business so it's not my place to let you in on the secret. If he wants to let you guys in on it he will. But please don't act like I'm forgetting you or anything like it. I'm just trying to help him out and I really hope that eventually we can all become friends…" Sugar and Blaine looked slightly guilty… "Blaine, I completely understand about you and Kurt. He's you're boyfriend and you want to spend time with him, which is why I've also been thinking… Will you tell Kurt about me? That way he knows about me and I don't have to pretend when he's around. I don't know him that well yet but I trust him because you trust him" I said smiling.

"Ryan, are you sure? Please don't feel like I'm pressuring you at all" Blaine said.

"Not at all" I said smiling. "So… Are we cool?" I asked them both.

"Of course! Sugar said before giving me a giant hug.

"Absolutely" Blaine said before joining in.

**/**

After arriving at school, the three of us went off to out different classes. At lunch, I text Puck and asked him to meet me out at the bleachers.

I was sitting outside already, looking out onto the vast football pitch when I heard footsteps from behind me.

"Hey, what's up?" Puck said.

"Hey man, can I talk to you about a few things?" I said.

"Yeah sure" he said.

"Ok well first of all, I've decided that I'm gonna come out to Sam. I know that doesn't really affect you but just thought I'd let you know." I paused for a moment before talking again…

"The main thing I wanna talk about is you really…. You and my best friends, Blaine, Sam and Sugar… They've all come up to me and said that I'm spending so much time with you and not enough time with them. I've tried to explain that you've got some things going on at the moment and I'm just trying to help you. But to be perfectly honest, I don't think they really believe me… Well, not me… but you… I want the five of us to be able to hang out together and be proper friends. Not only the five of us, but all of glee club! Well most of them anyway. But I just don't think that they're gonna trust you unless you explain to them what's going on… The Quinn situation is out there already… But I'm talking about the reason behind it… The reason that you're not bullying me anymore… The reason we're now friends…"

"That I'm bi…" He said quietly.

"Yeah… Look I'm not forcing you to come out to them… I understand how hard it is to do. But I do think that those three guys, Sam, Blaine and Sugar… They're completely trustworthy. Not only that, but they will gain so much respect for you if you come out and explain to them why… I think that you doing that will be the next step in the right direction. Again, I'm not forcing you… But just think about it ok…. Just those three…" I said.

"I dunno Ryan… I just dunno if I can. I'm not ready. This is so new to me… But I'll think about it… I promise." He said, looking from me to the ground and back again.

"Thanks Noah. That's all I ask. Now c'mon, let's go get some lunch and meet the others." I said, standing up to leave.

We both left the bleachers quietly, both contemplating the idea of coming out to someone new…

**/**

I was walking down the hall a little after lunch when I heard Brittany and Santana speaking on the phone.

"Sex is not dating"

"If it were, Santana and I would be dating".

They paused for a moment before continuing to walk. I started following them. Santana spoke again.

"Look, I don't wanna rock the boat. Since Quinn got pregnant I'm top dog around here."

They paused for a moment before hanging up the phone.

I walked over to them.

"Hey guys, what was that about?" I asked them.

"Yo Irish, Rachel's on to Quinn's little secret."

….. _**SHIT!**_

**/**

A few hours later, I'm standing here in glee club and of course our worst nightmare has happened. Rachel blabbed to Finn.

This is a fucking disaster.

Finn jumped on Puck and started beating the crap out of him before Mr Schue pulled him off Puck and Sam and I held him back. Blaine checked Puck's face.

"Tell the truth!" Finn screamed.

"Punk just walked in and sucker punched me!" Puck said.

"Don't play dumb, you're too freakin dumb to play dumb!"

"Who told you this Finn?" Quinn sobbed.

"Obviously it was Rachel" Kurt said.

"What? I didn't do anything!" She retorted.

"Yeah… It was Rachel, but I wanna hear it from you. I wanna hear it from both of you." Finn said.

"Finn, just calm down!" Mr Schue said.

"No, they're both lying to me!" He shouted.

"Is it true? Just tell me, is it true?"

Quinn was sobbing uncontrollably….

"Yes… Puck is the father." She breathed out.

Finn looked heartbroken….

"A-all that stuff in the hot tub? W- You just made that up?" He asked.

"You were stupid enough to buy it!" Puck said.

Finn leapt to attack him but Mr Schue stopped him.

"I am so sorry!" Quinn cried out.

"Screw this! I'm done with you! I'm done with… I'm done with all of you!"

And with that he ran out the door, kicking a chair over as he left.

**/**

Blaine, Sam, Sugar and I waited at the bleachers for a while after the incident. I persuaded them to wait with me. They think that he's a piece of shit that knocked up his best friend's girlfriend. If only they knew the full story. We were waiting for about forty five minutes before he showed up.

"I had a feeling you'd come here." I said to him.

"Hey. I tried talking to Quinn. Told her that I can't be with her, but that I will do whatever I can to take care of the baby. But she wants to do it alone…. I lost my best friend, another close friend of mine, and my unborn baby…. All in the same day." He said before breaking down and crying.

"Look Blaine, Sam, Sugar. I know Ryan told you that I've been going through personal shit…. The truth is that I'm bisexual… And the first time I ever had a fantasy about a guy, I got so freaked out that I went to a party and got so drunk that I ended up sleeping with Quinn as a way to try and convince myself that I was straight….. I regret it so much. I know I still probably sound like a dick but I just lost a lot today and I could really use some friends around me right now… Ryan told me that I can trust you guys."

"Of course you can Puck…" Blaine said, before looking at both Sugar and Sam. "We really appreciate that you told us Puck."

"We've got your back dude" Sam said.

"Totes" Sugar said smiling.

"I told you they'd understand." I said to Noah as I patted him on the back.

"Thank you guys…. Seriously this means a lot…. Just thank you" He said.

We sat there for another hour or two, talking, going through the whole situation, then deciding to focus on Sectionals for the time being, considering it is tomorrow.

**/**

The whole glee club sans Finn arrived at the venue and took our seats to watch the first two choirs compete. Our planned set list was Mercedes singing 'And I'm Telling You I Ain't Going', then doing 'Proud Mary' in wheelchairs and then finishing off with 'Don't Stop Believing'. Only problem was the Jane Addams Girls sang 'And I'm Telling You' and 'Proud Mary'… In wheelchairs. And then of course Haverbrook School for the deaf sang 'Don't Stop Believing'!

Someone leaked our setlist!

"Meeting in the green room in five minutes!" Rachel screamed.

**/**

"You leaked the set list!" Kurt said to Santana and Brittany. "You don't wanna be here. You're just Sue Sylvester's little moles!"

"I know for a fact that's true. Sue asked us to spy for her" Quinn said.

"Uh, look, we may still be Cheerios but neither of us ever gave Sue the set list!" Santana said.

"Well… I-I did but I didn't know what she was gonna do with it" Brittany said innocently.

"Ok look, believe what you want, but no ones forcing me to be here. And if you ever tell anyone this, I'll deny it, but I like being in glee club... It's the best part of my day ok! I wasn't gonna go and mess it up" Santana retorted.

"I believe you" Rachel said.

"Me too" I said, smiling at her.

"Ok look guys, there's no point in us arguing anymore. We have to go on in an hour!" She said.

"And we have no songs!" Tina said.

"Perhaps I could improvise one of my deaf poetry jams?" Artie asked.

"No look, we're gonna do this the right way. Let's start with a ballad. Mercedes, do you have anything else in your repertoire?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah but it's not as good as anything you're gonna sing." She said.

"No, we agreed."

"We agreed that I would sing 'And I'm Telling You'… And that ain't happenin'. Look Rachel the truth is, you're the best singer that we've got."

"As much as it hurts me to admit it, and it does, she's right. Rachel's our star. If anyone's gonna go belt it on the fly, it should be her." Kurt said.

"Well I do have something that I've been working on since I was four!" She said.

"Then I guess we have our ballad. And we can close with 'Somebody to Love'. It's a real crowd pleaser" Quinn said.

"Yeah that and a can of soup will guarantee us third place! We still need a song we can all sing together" Puck said.

"Who's gonna be the new male lead?" I asked.

At that moment Finn walked into the room.

"I have one. I found the sheet music online. I used the Cheerios copier to make copies. Then I trashed the thing. Mike, Blaine, Brittany, Santana; you're our best dancers. Figure something out and we'll all follow your lead."

"It's gonna be choppy" Mike said.

"Good. We're best when we're loose. Look, all we have going for us is we believe in ourselves and what we're singing about, If we can show the judges that… We might have a shot at this thing."

"It's good to have you back Finn." Rachel said smiling.

"Is it cool if I take my spot back?" He asked me.

"Sure why not… That was a good speech!" I said to him, smiling.

Puck walked over to Finn and held out his hand.

"We cool dude?" He asked.

All Puck got in return was a simple "No".

"This is our chance guys. Don't screw it up.

**/**

Rachel opened the show with an unbelievably amazing rendition of 'Don't Rain On My Parade' followed by the whole club singing 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' and finally 'Somebody to Love'.

….We came first!

The entire club was on such a high that the next day, our last day before Christmas vacation, we sang a song to Mr Schue; 'My Life Would Suck Without You'.

Mr Schue got his job back and Sue got suspended for leaking the set list! Life is good!

Now it's time for our party at Sugar's house to celebrate!

**/**

The celebrations were running high at Sugar's house! Puck had been able to pick up a little beer for us! Not too much but just enough for us to enjoy ourselves, except for Rachel, who won't drink, and of course Quinn, who can't. Everyone was dancing around having a good time; even Finn and Quinn were dancing, albeit far away from each other and even further away from Puck.

It's amazing how easy it to gain confidence when you're a little bit tipsy because I was now standing on a makeshift stage with Sugar's glittery microphone in hand belting out a karaoke rendition of 'We Found Love'.

Everyone seemed to be really enjoying the song. Artie and Tina were making out. Kurt and Blaine were dancing and making out. Brittany and Mike were also making out. That's when I saw Santana give them a bitchy look and go sit down. Sam was swaying to himself, but he looked unhappy.

After the song was over, I decided that this was my moment. I'm going to come out to Sam now!

I ran over to him and asked him if we could talk upstairs. We went up to Sugar's bedroom and sat on her bed.

"So what did you wanna talk about?" Sam asked. He seemed almost disconnected. He had only had about one and a half beers like me.

"Um, ok… God I'm nervous…. Um, So I've been meaning to tell you this for a while now… But I haven't been able to think of the right time to say it. You're one of my best friends and I think you have the right to know that… I'm gay. I'm gay Sam…" I paused for a moment. He didn't say anything so I continued on. "I'm not ashamed about it or anything… But you know my grandparents; they hate gay people with a passion because of the way they were brought up. So I can't come out properly for a while at least… My mam knows about me, and Sugar, Blaine, Puck, and I think Blaine told Kurt… Sugar knew before I moved here. Blaine knows because I had to tell him to prove I wasn't homophobic the first day we met remember? Puck knows because he told me that he was bi and I've been trying to help him come to terms with it… Look I've been talking for ages now… That's all I have to say… Are you ok? Are you shocked? Are you angry?" I asked.

Sam just sat there looking deep into my eyes for another few moments, his expression impossible to read.

And the he leaned over and kissed me….

The kiss lasted only a few seconds. I was in pure shock. Sam looked at me and then looked away before standing up and running out the door.

I sat there for a few moments, stunned, unable to move, trying to process what had just happened.

_Sam just kissed me…_

**/**

**A/N: I have no idea how many people, if any people have actually read this fanfic. I dunno if anyone wants me to continue. It's not about the hits or anything for me, I wanna continue this story for myself cause It's fun But in all honesty if there is anyone who has been reading/keeping up with my story any form of review or feedback would really help me to get motivated, thanks! **


	13. Xmas Happenings

**12: Xmas Happenings**

_What the actual fuck…_

_God, the past two days have just been an absolute daze. I still can't get my head around what happened at the party…_

_Sam kissed me. Me! I had no idea he was gay, or bi. Or maybe he's straight and just did it on a whim. God I don't know what to think. Sam ran out of the party right after he kissed me. He won't answer his phone. No one else has heard from him in glee. I just don't know what is happening. I've been trying to think of all the possibilities. If Sam is gay, then I suppose it kinda makes sense… He was so jealous when I started hanging out with Puck… And he told me that he likes someone but that person would never like him back. I assumed it was a girl; Quinn… But Sam didn't know I was gay. How would he? If he really did like he would have assumed it could never happen… Because he thought I was straight. _

_Maybe he thinks that even if I'm gay that I wouldn't want to be more because we're such good friends. But of course I would! How could I not? I've trained myself to not have crushes on people that I didn't know were gay, because obviously they are more than likely straight and wouldn't be into me. But now that there's a hint that Sam is gay, how could I not think about it? He's gorgeous and such an amazing guy. Amazing personality, he's such a great friend; we get on so well, incredibly well… He was the first friend I made here… He has been nothing but amazing to me since I've met him….I'm assuming I'm the first guy Sam kissed… If he is gay, would he be ready for a relationship yet? Or would he play the field a bit first? Oh I just don't know! That's it; I can't just sit around here anymore, waiting and wondering what's going to happen. I'm going to see Sam and I'm not leaving until we get this sorted out!_

**/**

_I didn't get to see Sam… He wouldn't answer the door and his parents told me he was sick… Yeah right! I saw him peek out through his upstairs window through the corner of my eye so he definitely is avoiding me._

**/**

**The next day:**

It's time for the Potter marathon! Sugar and I have been organising this for a while now so we're glad it's finally here. Everybody is getting here at 7 and we're gonna spend all night watching the movies. We might go home tomorrow morning, have a shower and then come back to watch the rest! Or we might just stay and watch them all. I ended up caving in and inviting Quinn, Finn and Rachel… After the baby drama and then us winning Sectionals, I think it's better for the whole club to be here. Make everyone feel included… Even Finn….. I doubt Sam would show up on his own, which is why I've organised for him to be personally carried here.

**/**

_**Later that day:**_

_Sugar and I were sitting in her cinema theatre admiring out work. We decorated the whole place, Harry Potter style. We organised food. We had the movies ready so we just sat down for a minute to rest before everyone got here. There were five rows of seats with 6 seats in a row, so there is plenty of room. Everyone started arriving a few minutes later. First was Blaine. Next was Santana and Brittany followed by everyone else a few minutes later, everyone except Puck and Sam…_

"Hey Ryan, where's Puck and Sam?" Blaine asked.

"Puck went to get him. He said something about Sam being sick so he's going to see if he is able to go. Hopefully they'll be here soon." I said. I feel terrible lying but how can I say that Sam kissed me and is now avoiding me? I can't out my best friend, even if it is to my other best friend.

A few minutes' later people were starting to get agitated.

"Ok, seriously where the hell are Puck and Trouty Mouth? I wants to get my magic on" Santana said, sounding as badass as one can when saying they want to watch Harry Potter.

"You're already magic San. You're a unicorn!" Brittany said. Santana smiled at this and linked pinkies with Brittany.

At that moment, Puck walked in with Sam slowly walking in behind him.

"Sorry we're late, Sammy here didn't feel very well" Puck said as he strolled in confidently.

"Great now let's start the movie!" Santana said.

We all sat down and started watching the movie. We scattered across the five rows. Sugar, Blaine and Kurt sat on one side of me and Puck sat on the other. Mercedes and Tina stayed on the edge of the row in front of us beside Artie. Quinn, Santana and Brittany were sitting at the front. Mike and Finn sat in the row behind them. Rachel sat two seats down from Finn. Sam sat away from everyone at the very edge of the back row….

"So did you have a problem convincing Sam to come?" I whispered to Puck.

"Yeah dude he really didn't want to come. I actually had to threaten him with a slushie for the rest of his life. What's up with him?" He asked.

"He's just going through some stuff. I'm trying to help him through it." I said.

**/**

We were now on the second movie. I wasn't really focusing on the movie. All I could think about was Sam…

I decided to try a little experiment. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, I opened the door as quietly as possible and I snuck over to where Sam was sitting. I sat down next to him. I didn't say anything. We sat there watching the movie

After a few minutes I glanced at Sam through the corner of my eye. He seemed to be focusing all his attention on the movie. His arms were crossed over his chest.

We were in the back row so nobody else could see without fully turning around. I slowly moved my arm over towards his leg… I placed my hand on his thigh. I left it there while still watching the movie.

I couldn't tell if Sam was looking at me or not. I heard a slight rustle… After another minute I felt his hand cover mine… Our fingers slowly connected….

_We sat there, not looking at each other but still holding hands, for the about a half an hour or so. I t was making me pretty 'excited' but it didn't matter. My test was obviously a success. I didn't want to rush him though so I just focused on the movie without looking at him. _

_After another few minutes, Sam leaned over and whispered into my ear. It sent shivers down my spine._

"Can we talk?" He whispered.

I nodded and with that he let go of my hand and walked out the door as I followed him.

**/**

We walked up to 'our' room; the room we stay in when we're at Sugar's house. She left a guitar in here for when Sam wanted to play. The beds were still messy from the last time we had stayed here. A few of our belongings were scattered across the room.

I lay down on Sam's bed and he lay down next to me.

"I'm so sorry Ryan. For the other night and how I've been acting since! Obviously you know by now that I'm gay… I've known for a while… I couldn't tell anyone, I was too afraid. I wanted to tell you, but I thought you were straight! When you sang ET for us in Sugar's room, I started getting these feelings for you, feelings so stronger than friendship. When you came out to me the other night, I was just so shocked and excited that I kissed you, but I didn't think of what it could do to our friendship! So I ran… I'm so sorry!"

"Sam you have no need to be sorry. I completely understand! I've been thinking about this non stop for the last two days. Do you want to be with me? Am I just an experiment? All these things went trough my head. But the one thing that stuck in my mind is what a fucking amazing guy you are! You're the nicest guy I've ever met and I'd be lucky to have you! But I understand that you're not out… and I'm not out because of my family. I understand that you may not be ready to have a relationship that's a 'secret'… If we were together, we couldn't be like Kurt and Blaine. We wouldn't have what they have. I want to be able to be who I am but for the moment, my mam and I depend on my grandparents and I just couldn't put my family through it."

I paused for a moment. He seemed to be thinking. I continued on.

"I've prepared a song that kinda fits the situation… The rooms are soundproof so we're cool… Wow glee is really rubbing off on me….."

I started singing.

**Just one kiss on my lips  
Was all it took to seal the future  
Just one look from your eyes  
Was like a certain kind of torture**

Once upon a time  
There was a boy  
There was a girl

Just one touch from your hands  
Was all it took to make me falter

Forbidden love  
Are we supposed to be together  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love  
We seal the destiny forever  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love

Sam grabbed his guitar and started to strum along as I continued singing…****

Just one smile on your face  
Was all it took to change my fortune  
Just one word from your mouth  
Was all I needed to be certain

Once upon a time  
There was a boy  
There was a girl  
Hearts that intertwine  
They lived in a different kind of world

Forbidden love  
Are we supposed to be together  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love  
We seal the destiny forever  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love

Just one kiss  
Just one touch  
Just one look

Forbidden love  
Are we supposed to be together  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love  
We seal the destiny forever  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love

Forbidden love  
Are we supposed to be together  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love  
We seal the destiny forever  
Forbidden love  
Forbidden love

Just one kiss  
Just one touch  
Just one look

"That was beautiful…" Sam said. "You are beautiful" He said, looking deep into my eyes.

I didn't know how to respond… I don't take compliments well. I felt myself going red.

"I understand what you mean Ryan. Right now, what we could have is kinda forbidden… We could talk about it for hours… But I actually prepared a song too…. I've been working on it for a while, ever since you told me it was one of your favourite songs… Listen to the lyrics." He said as he picked up the guitar again and started playing.

I knew it the song straight away.

**Through wind and rain we got here  
Now we're flying babe with no fear  
We've been doing pain for so long  
When I stare in your eyes it's all gone  
Through wind and rain we burn bright  
Learn to fly through flames and hold tight  
With so many ways to go wrong  
But when I look in your eyes they're all gone**

And in my dreams it feels like we are forty stories tall  
When you're around, oooh, we're untouchable  
And in my dreams it feels like we aren't ever gonna fall  
We're safe and sound and we're untouchable

It's only real when you're not around  
I'm walking in the rain, the sun goes down (oh oh)  
And only love can save us now  
I need you hear again to show me how (oh oh)

I know that love shouldn't be so hard  
And sometimes we're standing in the dark  
But you light up everywhere I go  
And I know a heart shouldn't beat so hard  
And sometimes we're swimming with the sharks  
But you light up and keep me out the cold

And in my dreams it feels like we are forty stories tall  
When you're around, oooh, we're untouchable  
And in my dreams it feels like we aren't ever gonna fall  
We're safe and sound and we're untouchable

It's only real when you're not around  
The candle in my head is burning out (oh oh)

I know that love shouldn't be so hard  
And sometimes we're standing in the dark  
But you light up everywhere I go  
And I know a heart shouldn't beat so hard  
And sometimes we're swimming with the sharks  
But you light up and keep me out the cold  


**And in my dreams it feels like we are forty stories tall  
When you're around, oooh, we're untouchable  
And in my dreams it feels like we aren't ever gonna fall  
We're safe and sound and we're untouchable  
**

I joined in as he began to sing the last section…

**Whenever you're gone (gone) they wait at the door  
And everything's hurting like before  
Without any meaning, we're just skin and bone  
Like beautiful robots dancing alone  
Whenever you're gone (gone) they wait at the door  
And everything's hurting like before  
Without any meaning, we're just skin and bone  
Like beautiful robots dancing alone**

**And in my dreams it feels like we are forty stories tall  
When you're around, oooh, we're untouchable  
And in my dreams it feels like we aren't ever gonna fall  
We're safe and sound and we're untouchable**

"Sam that was incredible… Wow… Jesus I'm starting to cry! I never cry!" I said as I could feel myself starting to tear up.

"Ryan I think of what we could be when I sing that song! Who cares if we have to be a secret for now! We won't let it get us down. Like the song says, we're untouchable."

"I couldn't ask for anything more… Are you sure this is what you want? I don't want to force you to be my secret…" I said.

"I don't care if nobody knows about us or the whole damn world does! I just wanna be with you!" He said passionately.

He climbed onto the bed and kneeled in front of me.

"Ryan, do you wanna be my boyfriend?" he asked me, looking into my eyes.

I couldn't help but smile at the cuteness and cheesiness of it all…

"Yes, I'll be your boyfriend Sam" I said, unable to keep the smile off my face.

Sam couldn't contain his excitement as he leapt off the bed and wrapped his arms around me. He then looked into my eyes before leaning in and kissing me.

We stood there kissing for a few minutes before breaking apart. We both couldn't stop smiling.

He looked at me for a few seconds before uttering the words; "_Lor menari_… It's Na'vi… It means you have beautiful eyes".

I couldn't help but smile even more so than I already was.

"So do you think we should go back down to the others? Or do you wanna wait up here for a while?" I asked him.

"Hmmm well we left around the middle of the movie so we could wait up here until the next one starts." he said, grinning.

"I like the way you think. We have about an hour so!" I said before lying back down on the bed, motioning for him to lie next to me.

**/**

We spent the hour cuddling, kissing and talking and after the hour was up we quickly kissed and then quietly made our way back into the movie theatre.

"Where did you two go?" Santana said loudly.

"Um, I wasn't feeling well so Ryan went for a walk outside to get some fresh air" Sam said.

We sat down at the back in the same seats.

I sent a quick text to Puck.

**Sorted things out with Sam. Just gonna sit here with him for a while. Tell Blaine and Sugar.**

After that Sam's hand found his way to mine once again and aside from one or two scares when people got up to go to the bathroom, we sat there, hand in hand for the rest of the movies.

**/**

**Two weeks later:**

_So the last two weeks have kinda been a blur, a big amazing happy blur! I have a boyfriend… My best friend Sam is now my boyfriend! Never in a million years would I have expected this to happen, but I'm so glad it has! He's been nothing short of amazing. We're still the same, best friends, but now we're even more connected with each other and it's an amazing feeling! He's wonderful. We have one minor thing we have to get through though… We have to tell our friends, Sugar, Blaine and Puck. We've decided to do it in a different sort of way. Rather than telling them all at once we're gonna talk to them separately, on the same day. Basically we're gonna all go to the mall, I'm gonna go shop with Sugar and then tell her there, Sam will go with Blaine and tell him, and Sugar and I will meet Puck and I'll tell him. After that we can all meet up and go see a movie. So we have a nice little day out after we tell them!_

_Sam text me just before I was leaving to go for the mall._

**Hey babe, can't wait to tell the guys, you ready for this? Xxx**

**I'm ready, can't wait, c u soon xxx**

**/**

Sugar and I had been walking around the mall for about a half hour when I decided to bring Sam up.

"So remember a few weeks back, at the Potter marathon, when Sam said he wasn't feeling well? He was in a weird kinda mood?" I said.

"Um, I think so." Sugar said, making a face as if she was trying to remember.

"Yeah well I have to tell you something… Sam wasn't sick… Um, at our sectionals celebration party… Sam kissed me… He was acting weird with me at the potter marathon until we talked it all out… He's gay… And now he's my boyfriend…"

"OMG Ryan what? Sam's gay? That's amazing! For you I mean! You have a boyfriend! I'm so happy for both of you!" She said enthusiastically. "What about your grandparents?" She asked, slightly worried.

"Well we can't say anything to them, obviously. So we just can't be public about it. The only people that are gonna really know are you, Blaine and Puck… Sam's telling Blaine right now and I'm gonna tell Puck when he gets here."

"That's cool Ryan! Well obviously your secret is safe with us!" She said.

"Thanks bma. I was actually wondering if you could help me pick out a Christmas present for Sam."

"Of course I will! You know how much I love to shop!" She said as we set off to look for the gift.

**/**

After about an hour, we met up with Puck. We talked normally for a few minutes before telling him about me and Sam.

"That's really great dude. I'm happy for you both." He said. "And hey, if you ever need a third person, you let me know" He said winking.

"I'll keep that in mind Puck" I said laughing.

**/**

We then met up with Sam and Blaine.

"Ryan I'm so happy for you and Sam! Congratulations. You guys will have to go on a double date with Kurt and me, out of town of course." He said smiling.

We then all went and saw a movie together. Sam and I couldn't keep from smiling as we held each others hand in the cinema. Our friends are so happy for us now too… Things are going really well.

**/**

_Christmas is getting closer and closer! Only five days left! I've been trying to think of a great first date for Sam and I to have… It's so tough… I'm not good at this romantic type thing; I've never had any practise before! But I was talking to the guys and they all pitched in to help me think of an idea. So our first date is about to commence! _

/

Sam and I were walking home from the movies. It was already dark out. The air was covered in a layer of light fog and the ground was covered by a blanket of snow. Carol singers were dotted intermittently along the streets singing all the Christmas hits.

"More carollers" Sam said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.

"Ah I like them. They get you in the Christmas spirit. They're a bit of craic!"

"Craic? I'm still getting used to the little Irish things you say… Some are so weird!"

"Ah yeah I know it must be weird when you've never heard them before. Craic just means… Fun, I suppose. Like, when I say; 'what's the craic?' It basically means 'what's up?' or 'How are you?'… Maybe I should make a list of all the Irish things I say and translate them to 'American' for you" I said laughing.

"Awh you'd do that for me? It sure would help. I know I'm dyslexic but I can usually understand what a person is saying… I really like the way you talk though… I'm really glad that you don't try to dial down your accent, or stop using your Irish phrases. It makes you unique. It's just one of the many reasons I like you so much"

"Awh thank you Sam… That means a lot. I'm glad you like it. One thing I promised myself before I move is that I wouldn't change myself to fit in when I got here. I was worried I wouldn't make any friends and I'd have to try and act like a completely different person to try and fit in. But then I met Sugar, Blaine, Puck, and you… You all accepted me for who I am, every part of me… And I'm so grateful to all of you for that… Actually now that I think about it, I think I left some Christmas presents in Sugar's… We were wrapping them yesterday. Can we call in there on the way for a minute?" I said.

"Sure. I wanna wish Sugar a Merry Christmas anyway. Blaine has my presents at his house. We can stop by there afterwards?" He said.

"Tá Grá Agam Duit… Dar liom is féidir liom ar aon nós…" I muttered as we continued walking.

"What does that mean?" Sam asked, looking confused.

"Oh it's just something in Irish… I'll tell you soon enough" I said, smiling.

/

We arrived at Sugar's house a few minutes later and after ringing the doorbell, the nanny answered the door.

"Sugar is not here, but she told me that your belongings are in your guest bedroom. You can go and collect them now." She said before allowing us entry.

As we walked up the stairs towards the room, I held Sam's hand.

We opened the door to the guest room and as I turned on the light, all we could hear was a giant yell of 'Surprise! Merry Christmas!"

Sam was shocked.

Blaine, Sugar, Puck and Kurt all walked over with presents in hand.

The room was completely decorated in red and white decorations. There was fake snow littered on the ground. A big, wonderfully decorated Christmas tree was in the centre of the room.

"Merry Christmas Sam" I said, as I hugged him.

"Merry Christmas Ryan" He said, looking dumbfounded… "What's going on?"

"Well, I've been trying to think of a great first date for us, and I couldn't think of anything for ages. But then I thought about maybe having Christmas earlier for us. So basically when we were at the movies, the guys set this up. Now we're gonna swap presents between the 6 of us and enjoy our own mini Christmas, considering we'll be with our own families on Christmas Day." I said.

"Ryan this is a great idea… I don't deserve all of this… You put in so much effort! I'm really sorry but I have no presents with me, cause I wrapped them at Blaine's house!" he said.

"Why do think I organised for you to do that? Look under the tree Sam. There are your presents." Blaine said smiling.

We decided to play some music and have a small party before opening presents. All the classic cheesy Christmas songs were playing. Everyone was singing along and dancing around. We were all having a blast. Sugar and Puck were dancing. Blaine and Kurt were dancing. Sam and I were dancing.

"Ok Sam so I've actually prepared one song to do as well. It's my absolute favourite Christmas song ever! But I don't think it's very well known over here. But it's really famous back home. I love it. Kurt's gonna help me sing and Blaine and Puck are handling some of the instruments. Sugar has the rest of the backing track on a CD. Oh and there's one really bad word in this but it's in a different context so just let this one slide ok guys. So you ready Kurt?" I asked.

"Of course. I'm ready for any song featuring the fabulous Big Apple in it" Kurt said smiling.

**Ryan:**

**It was Christmas Eve babe  
In the drunk tank  
An old man said to me, won't see another one  
And then he sang a song  
The Rare Old Mountain Dew  
I turned my face away  
And dreamed about you**

Got on a lucky one  
Came in eighteen to one  
I've got a feeling  
This year's for me and you  
So happy Christmas  
I love you baby  
I can see a better time  
When all our dreams come true

Kurt:

**They've got cars big as bars  
They've got rivers of gold  
But the wind goes right through you  
It's no place for the old  
When you first took my hand  
On a cold Christmas Eve  
You promised me  
Broadway was waiting for me**

Both:

**You were handsome  
You were pretty  
Queen of New York City  
When the band finished playing  
They howled out for more  
Sinatra was swinging,  
All the drunks they were singing  
We kissed on a corner  
Then danced through the night**

The boys of the NYPD choir  
Were singing "Galway Bay"  
And the bells were ringing out  
For Christmas day

You're a bum  
You're a punk  
You're an old slut on junk  
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed  
You scumbag, you maggot  
You cheap lousy faggot  
Happy Christmas your arse  
I pray God it's our last

The boys of the NYPD choir  
Still singing "Galway Bay"  
And the bells were ringing out  
For Christmas day

I could have been someone  
Well so could anyone  
You took my dreams from me  
When I first found you  
I kept them with me babe  
I put them with my own  
Can't make it all alone  
I've built my dreams around you

The boys of the NYPD choir  
Still singing "Galway Bay"  
And the bells are ringing out  
For Christmas day 

"Guys, that was amazing" Sam said before coming up to me. He hugged me and whispered "Thank You".

/

We kept on singing and dancing for a while longer before moving onto presents.

Kurt had made each of us an accessory that would 'highlight our features'. I don't think I'll be wearing my purple pashmina but hey, it's the thought that counts.

Puck got me a Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen CD. "Dude, just listen to them. You'll thank me!".

Sugar got me a pair of Lady GaGa jewelled and bedazzled glasses. LOVE THEM!

Blaine got the last Harry Potter DVD with the bonus discs. Again, LOVE IT!

Before Sam and I were supposed to swap gifts, he came up to me and asked "Hey, can we go swap our presents in private?"

"Sure, let's go".

/

We decided to walk along the outskirts of Sugar's garden. The moonlight was bouncing of the snow covered ground, creating a glittering effect.

"So how come you wanted to do this in private?" I asked him.

"I think I love you."

"Huh-what?"

"I just light up when you're around. We could be the best couple out there." He said as he got down on one knee and opened up a box contain a gold ring/band inside.

"Oh my god are you proposing?" I said, eyes widening in shock. "We've only known each other for a few months! Stand up you're freaking me out!" I said,

"I wanna marry you, someday… When it's legal… Until then, will you accept this promise ring?

"Really?" I said.

"If you accept, this ring will symbolise my promise to you to be true, to never pressure you to do anything more than kiss, to listen to your problems, to tell you when you have food in your teeth, or eye gunk, to come over to your house whenever you need something super heavy moved around. I promise to make you feel proud when you point down the hall and say that dude's my boyfriend, whenever we decide to come out. I promise to do all of those things without ever trying to sound like Matthew McConaughey" he said as we both laughed.

"I really care about you Ryan, and I want us to be together, properly together." He said.

I paused for a moment before taking the ring and placing it on my finger, "How could I say no to that… And by the way, I happen to like your Matthew McConaughey impression." I said.

Sam jumped for joy before kissing me and saying, "I love you… I know its fast but I just can't help it. You're god damn amazing. You make me feel things I've never felt before. I love you!"

"I love you too Sam… That's what I said earlier, in Irish, remember, I said, "I love you… I feel like I do anyway".

Sam just kept on smiling.

"So it's time for your gift now." I said as I handed him the big box wrapped in red wrapping paper.

He ripped it open to reveal a blue guitar.

"I painted it myself… Since I know how much you love Avatar. Look at the bottom of it." I told him.

"**Kxani Yawne**… That's 'Forbidden Love' in Na'vi. Like the song you sang for me".

"Yeah… I tried to write 'Untouchable' but they don't have a word for it in Na'vi. I hope you like it. I know it's not as good as your present." I said.

"Are you kidding me? This is the best present I've ever gotten. This guitar, you made it so personal. You put so much thought into it. And then organising the Christmas party to! I love it Ryan, and I love you!" Sam said.

"I love you too Sam… It's probably time we should go back to the party. The guys will be wondering where we went"

"Sure babe, let's go".

The rest of the night was spent listening to more songs and dancing around, enjoying one of the best nights we've had… So far!

/


	14. New Year's

**13: New Year's**

_New Year's is upon us! These past few months at McKinley have just gone by so freaking fast! One day I was the loser new kid with only one friend. Now I have 4 best friends and I'm in glee club, singing in front of people! Well I know I haven't had an 'official' solo in front of everyone, but I'll get there! I've still come so far! We all have! Sam and I are going out! Blaine and Kurt are going out! Puck has stopped bullying people, he's coming to terms with his sexuality and he's also dealing with the baby drama. Sugar has finally been able to make proper friends, friends that don't use her for her money. I'm kinda worried about her though, well not worried… concerned is more like it, after she stayed at mine for Christmas…._

_/_

**Christmas Eve:**

Sugar's dad was working or doing whatever it is he does, so he wasn't going to be home for Christmas! So I invited Sugar to my house to spend it with my family instead! No one deserves to spend Christmas alone, especially someone as nice as Sugar. My family and I had been celebrating and getting ready for Christmas day. We went to mass/church and we got to sit with Sam's family there. Sugar seemed quiet throughout the whole day and didn't really participate in anything we had been doing. When we got back home after mass, she went straight up to the spare room, saying that she "didn't feel well"… I left her alone for a little while, cause I know she needs space, but I also knew she wasn't sick, so after about an hour I went up to the spare room and went to talk with her.

"Hey… So what's up?" I said as I walked in and sat on her bed. She was lying sideways away from me.

"I'm fine… Just tired" She said depressingly.

"Sugar… You know I love you, and I wouldn't fight with you unless there was a valid reason… But that's bullshit and you know it. Something's up with you. Is it cause your dad's not here?"

She remained silent for a few minutes… "Yeah… I miss him… I never see him… I mean, it's Christmas Ryan! And I can't even spend it with him cause he's off doing his business that just can't wait! I suppose I just feel lonely. Don't get me wrong, I love you and you're like my family now, and Blaine, Sam, Puck and glee club! But I still miss my Dad… I'm filthy rich cause of daddy's job, and it's nice, but I'd trade it all away if my daddy could actually be around!"

"I understand Sugar… I have an idea what you're going through, since I don't see my dad. That's hard enough for me. I can't imagine how hard it is for you without your mam too… But you know I'm here, we're all here for you. I know it's not much, but it's really the best I can do." I said.

"I know Ryan, you're the best" she said as she hugged me. "There's one other thing too… I feel kinda lonely still cause I don't have a boyfriend….. You have Sam, Blaine has Kurt, Puck kinda had you for a while and he also has the baby stuff…I have no one." She said as she leaned onto my shoulder. "All the guys in glee club seem to have someone, except me".

"Sugar… You don't have a boyfriend yet… That's just cause the right guy hasn't come along yet. You're an amazing person! You're rich but you don't let it define you! You could be like Paris Hilton if you wanted, flaunting you're money around and buying friends and all that. But you don't! You don't let people use you for your money. You're talented and gorgeous and one of the nicest people I've ever met! You haven't met your guy yet… But you will. And when you do, trust me, he's gonna be worth the wait!"

"You're right Ryan... Why worry about it? I'll get a guy eventually… Well I hope so… Thanks BMA, you're the best. I'm always here for you if you ever need help too". She said.

"I know. You will meet someone Sugar. I swear. But before that, why don't we go down and enjoy Christmas Eve?" I said smiling.

"I couldn't think of anything I'd like more. Lead the way BMA" she said as she smiled.

/

**Present:**

So I am worried about Sugar, but for now there's nothing we can really do. All there is to do is be there for her… Anyways that's enough worrying! It's time to celebrate! It's New Years Eve and since Puck's mam and sister are out of town, he's having a party for us! Can't wait!

/

Sugar and I arrived at the party a half hour late. Sugar took ages to get ready! When we got there, there was only a handful of the guys there; Sam, Blaine, Kurt, Puck and Santana.

"Took you guys long enough!Now everyone's here we can start partying properly!" Puck said as he picked up a drink.

"Wait, where's the rest of glee club?" I asked.

"They're all with their families and couldn't get away" Kurt said.

"And Britt is gone on vacation with her family" Santana said disdainfully, rolling her eyes as she said it.

"Ah well fuck it we're still gonna have a great time. More drink for us! Let's celebrate the New Year" I said as I grabbed a beer.

/

A little while later, I went into Puck's kitchen to grab some ice. Puck was sitting on the countertop.

"Hey" He said with a smile.

"Hey man, how come you're in here all alone?" I asked him.

"Just taking a breather for a minute dude, even a badass like me has to take a break sometimes!" He said with a cheeky grin.

"Of course, of course… We should talk actually… I haven't really got to talk to you much lately; everything's been so hectic with the holidays and with me and Sam getting together. How are you doing with the Quinn situation?" I asked as I sat down next to him.

Puck sighed a little before answering. "Nothing's really changed Ryan… Finn isn't speaking to me. Quinn doesn't want me to help with the baby. She's still giving her up for adoption… It hurts and I would be a great dad to that kid, something my dad never was… But she doesn't want it… Part of me is relieved… But if she changes her mind, I'm gonna be there."

"I understand completely Noah. You know I'm here for you, whatever you need. And the rest of the guys in the next room are too, even Santana!"

"I know Ryan… You really are a great guy… Thank you… Y'know sometimes I think I should have done what Sam did back at our Sectionals party. I would have made a great boyfriend…" He said softly.

"I've thought about it too before, but the difference between me and you is, I've known I was gay for years now… You're only accepting that you're bi… You need time to fully accept it before you rush into a relationship… You'll always be my first kiss, and that was one hell of a first kiss! And you're one my best friends now. And hey, like you said at the mall a while back, there's always room for 3 in a bed sometime." I said as I winked at him.

"Dude you're kinky! I like it! Seriously though… Thanks Ryan, you've been great through all this… You really are my best bro now." He said as we bumped knuckles.

"Can I ask you something actually?" I said. "Did I actually help you? The fact that you could talk to me if you needed any help or had any questions. Did it help?"

"Dude are you really asking that? You helped me so much! You helped me realise that it wasn't a bad thing. You helped me make friends who don't care if I'm straight or not! You stopped me being a bully. You helped me join glee club. You helped me deal with Quinn! Ryan, if you hadn't helped me, I don't know where I'd be!"

"And say, for example, we hadn't talked it out in the locker room. But somehow I found out about you liking guys. Would you have wanted me to say it to you, so you have someone to talk to?" I asked.

"Um… I think I would have been pissed at first, but after a little while, I would be happy that you offered to help" he said, really thinking about his answer.

"Cool, just wondering. Thanks Noah. Anyways, we'd better get back into the party!" I said,

"Lead the way"

/

Blaine, Kurt, Sugar, Sam and I were dancing for a while. Puck was having another drink. Santana was drinking alone on the couch, looking depressed.

I whispered into Sam's ear. "So how are you holding up? I'm dying here, I wanna kiss you!"

"Me too, this is hard, especially cause I'm kinda drunk… Let's go outside!"

We walked outside, saying Sam felt sick. The minute we walked outside Sam's lips were on mine.

"Damn that was hot. I've wanted to do that all night." Sam said as he took a breath.

"Same here, the way you were dancing in there… wow" I said, panting a little.

"I wish Santana wasn't here. Then we could just be ourselves…" He said.

"I don't think Santana would care… I have a feeling she might like Brittany in a more than friend's kinda way… If she does, then she's exactly like us. She can't express herself either… I think I'm gonna say it to her… Not about us, but just tell her that I'm here to talk to."

"Ryan, are you sure? Santana's a bitch! She might out you!"

"I don't think she would… She's nicer than she makes out. I saw that when we worked on the duet together… I'm gonna say it to her ok" I said.

"Ok babe… Be careful… kiss for good luck?" He asked, grinning.

I grinned back before crashing our lips together.

/

I sat down next to Santana; she hadn't left her seat on the couch.

"Hey, so I'm guessing you miss Britt?"

"Yeah I do" She said weakly, almost timidly. Her eyes looked a little red.

"Um… Can I talk to you for a minute in private?" I asked.

She looked at me for a minute before holding out her hand and saying "Sure".

We walked up to Puck's bedroom and sat on his bed.

"Ok I'm just gonna say it…. Do you like Brittany?" I asked.

She looked slightly taken aback. "Yeah of course I do, we're besties!"

"No Santana, I mean do you like like Britt, as in more than a friend?"

"What the fuck Irish? I'm not a lesbian!" She retorted.

"I never said that. I asked you do you like Brittany. Liking one single person of the same sex doesn't make you a lesbian. You can't help who you fall for, man or woman."

She stared at me for a minute. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Because I know you like her. I can see the signs… Look… Um… I know how it feels to be in this situation… And it's nice to even have one person to talk to about it; it stops the feelings from being bottled up inside your head… I'm not asking you to admit it, but I'm just letting you know that I'm here for you, if you ever need to talk about this, or anything else… I'm here. You may put up this tough shell to everyone, but you're not invincible, so if you ever want to talk… I'm here."

She stared from me to the ceiling to her lap and back again for a minute before standing up. "I gotta go; my mom wants me to be at home for the countdown". And with that she walked out the door and left the house.

Several minutes later, I got a text:

**Thank You.**

/

I walked back downstairs and walked up to Sam, covering his eyes, "Santana's gone home".

"How'd it go?" he said as he held my hand.

"I think it went ok actually. She didn't say much but when she left to go home, she sent me a text saying thank you, so I'm guessing she appreciated it".

"That's great! You really are such a good person. You've helped so many of the guys by now! Love you."

"I love you too Sam. You're the amazing one here. Now let's dance!"

After a few minutes I got talking to Blaine. We moved to the couch for a few minutes to chat.

"So how are you and Kurt getting on?" I asked.

"It's wonderful! I can't believe I actually have a boyfriend 8in high school. I always thought I'd have to wait until college, since we are in Lima after all. I'm really happy for you and Sam too."

"Thanks Blaine. I can't believe it either, especially since I'm nowhere near as good looking as you guys. But it really is amazing… I'm so happy."

"Ryan don't you dare say that. You are gorgeous! Inside and out! You're so talented! Do you realise how many people you've helped since you moved here? Sugar had no one. Sam had no one. I had no one. We just 3 losers in a new school and we didn't know anyone. But you brought us together! You came out to me, you made me feel safer in school, knowing you were gay too! You helped Puck so much. We're at his party right now because you helped him accept who he was! You're the reason we joined glee club! I know I'm making a big long speech, but I don't want you to bring yourself down. You're an amazing guy Ryan. You've changed all of our lives for the better! I'm proud to be your friend!"

"Wow… I didn't realise I meant that much to you… I don't know what to say… Thank You" I said as I hugged him.

"Ryan you're one my best friends! You, Sugar, Sam, Kurt, Puck… You all mean so much to me! I'm so glad we met!"

I couldn't help but grin like a madman.

"Guys the countdown's starting!" Sugar screamed!

Everyone stood up and began counting down.

"10!"

"9!"

"8!"

"7!"

"6!"

"5!"

"4!"

"3!"

"2!"

"1!"

"Happy New Years!"

Blaine kissed Kurt. Puck kissed Sugar. Sam kissed me.

Sam looked into my eyes. "Happy New Year's Ryan".

"Happy New Year's Sam." I said before we kissed again.

"Ok guys let's go watch the fireworks!" Puck said.

"Where?" Sugar asked.

"On the roof of course!" he said while grabbing some more drinks.

/

We all sat on the roof watching the fireworks for a while.

"So guys, what are your new year's resolutions?" Kurt asked. "Mine is to be even more fabulous than I already am and to get more solos in glee club!"

"I want to make sure glee club is a safe place for any person, regardless of race, sexuality, or gender." Blaine said.

"I want to find a boy that doesn't like me for my money. And I wanna try volunteering too!" Sugar said.

"I want to be able to accept myself. And I want to be there for Quinn and the baby, at least until she's adopted." Puck said, slightly solemnly.

"I wanna do better in school and I want to be the best boyfriend I can be to Ryan." Sam said.

"I want to tell more people about me, sometime this year. I also want to get rid of this shyness. I'm gonna sing a full solo in glee club."

"It's gonna be a good year" Blaine said as we all smiled.

"Why not have a little celebratory sing-along?" Kurt said as he turned on a cd player.

We all knew the song the minute it started playing.

**Blaine:**

**I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night  
**

**Sam:  
A feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night**

Ryan & Sugar:

**A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night**

Puck & Kurt:

**A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night**

All:

**Tonight's the night, let's live it up  
I got my money, let's spend it up  
Go out and smash it like oh my God  
Jump off that sofa, let's get, get off  
**

**Sugar:  
I know that we'll have a ball  
If we get down and go out and just lose it all  
I feel stressed out, I wanna let it go  
Let's go way out spaced out and losing all control**

Puck:

**Fill up my cup, Mazel Tov  
Look at her dancing, just take it off  
Let's paint the town, we'll shut it down  
Let's burn the roof, and then we'll do it again**

Ryan & Sam:

**Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it  
And do it and do it, let's live it up  
And do it and do it and do it, do it, do it  
Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it**

Kurt & Blaine:

**Cause I gotta feeling, woohoo,  
That tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night**

Sam & Sugar:

**A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night**

Puck, Blaine, Sam & Ryan:

**Tonight's the night  
(Hey! )  
Let's live it up  
(Let's live it up)  
I got my money  
(My pay)  
Let's spend it up  
(Let's spend it up)**

Go out and smash it  
(Smash it)  
Like oh my God  
(Like oh my God)  
Jump off that sofa  
(Come on! )  
Let's get, get off

Fill up my cup  
(Drink)  
Mazel Tov  
(Lhyem)  
Look at her dancing  
(Move it, move it)  
Just take it off

Let's paint the town  
(Paint the town)  
We'll shut it down  
(Let's shut it down)  
Let's burn the roof  
And then we'll do it again

Sugar & Kurt:

**Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it  
And do it and do it, let's live it up  
And do it and do it and do it, do it, do it  
Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, do it, do it, do it  
**

**Sam & Kurt:  
Here we come, here we go, we gotta rock  
(Rock rock rock rock rock)  
Easy come, easy go, now we on top  
(Top top top top top)  
Feel the shot, body rock, rock it, don't stop  
(Stop stop stop stop stop)  
Round and round, up and down, around the clock  
(Rock rock rock rock rock)  
**

**Ryan & Sugar:  
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday  
Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday  
Get, get, get, get, get with us, you know what we say, say  
Party every day, p-p-p-party every day**

All:

**And I'm feelin', woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night**

I gotta feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good night  
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night  
Woohoo

We all cheered and continued celebrating well into the night…

I think it's gonna be a good year!

**A/N: Thank you to anyone who has reviewed this story! It makes me more motivated to get chapters out quicker. I'm back in college so will try to write as much as I can when I have time. If there's any grammar, spelling mistakes, please let me know! I have a full idea of 'season 1' and once I'm finished with that, Ill probably take a small break to think of how I'm gonna split up the 'season 2' chapters, and so forth.**

**Thank you to anyone who has left feedback or just read the story! Again, I'm not a writer, but I just had this idea and I have to get it out there! **


	15. Hello!

**14: Hello**

**A/N: Thus is just a small chapter as a kinda re-introduction back into school…**

/

It's the New Year and so, time for school once again! After New Year's we all just been hung out and relaxed before school started back. Nothing much has really happened aside from Finn finally going out with Rachel… Took long enough! They've been pining for each other since glee started. Anyways, it's time for glee club. It's 'Hello' week. We have to think of a new style the New Directions can sing, and the song has to have 'Hello' in the title.

/

Finn had just finished singing 'Hello, I love you'. It was catchy and all, but still… It's Finn. I can't exactly like it. After that, the bell rang so everybody started packing up to leave. I noticed Santana and Brittany walking over to Finn. I pretended to tie my lace as I listened in.

… "Thanks, but my feet weren't really moving." Finn said.

"That was the best part" Brittany chimed in.

"Britt and I were wondering if you wanted to go out." Santana asked.

"O-on a date? With which one of you?" He asked, looking confused.

"With both of us" They said as they linked arms.

"Sure!" He said before walking out the door.

I walked over to Brittana as they were about to leave. "What the hell was that?" I said.

"We asked Finn on a date" Brittany said.

"Yeah I know, but why? He's dating Rachel!" I said.

"Look it doesn't matter Irish. We don't exactly like the idea of going on a date with 'Moobs the giant'! But we have to. Sue's orders." She said.

"Coach Sue" I said, rolling my eyes. "Why does she want this? Is it to make Rachel quit or something?"

They nodded.

"Guys, what the fuck! I don't like Finn, but annoying as Rachel may be, she is still a nice girl and she doesn't deserve this!" I said.

"Look we have to do this. I wanna be head cheerleader. If Sue wants me to do this, I'm gonna do it, simples." Santana said as she walked past me and out the door, followed by Brittany.

/

A while later I saw Finn talking to Rachel. She was crying so no doubt he was telling her about what had happened. She began to walk away, sobbing to herself. I gave Finn a death stare before following Rachel. I found her sitting in the auditorium.

"Hey Rachel, are you ok?" I asked.

"Oh hello Ryan… No not really. Finn just broke up with me." She said as she started sobbing again.

"Why?" I asked as I sat down beside her.

"He's afraid that being with me will tarnish his reputation. He said he wants to find his inner rock star" She said.

I paused for a minute… "Look Rachel, I'm really sorry. I know you really like him. And I know we haven't really talked much, but I think you are a really nice, talented person, and I respect you a lot, which is why I'm gonna give you some tough love right now… Finn is a douchebag. He doesn't deserve you. He's nowhere near as talented as you and nowhere near as talented as most of the other guys in glee. Yet he's the lead. He's the one you fall for… The one thing he cares about is his reputation, his popularity. He doesn't want you to get in the way of that, which is why he's going on a date with some cheerleaders right now… You're a star Rachel Berry. You'll find someone that can equal your star potential. But until then, be independent! Be the diva that fights for solos! Not the girl who pines after a boy!"

She remained silent for a minute before saying "Thank you Ryan. That was tough to hear… But I'm glad you said it. I am a star! I need someone who is my equal! But until then, I'm going to be a strong independent woman!"

"Good, that's what I like to hear! Y'know I was thinking about this week's 'Hello' assignment and I thought of a song… But it's a duet so I need a girl to sing it with me… Would you maybe do me the honour? It could show Finn that you don't need him, for lead singing or as a boyfriend!"

"It sounds like fun. Although I hope you can keep up with my Barbara-esque vocals!"

"Oh I think you underestimate me Rachel, let's get practising".

/

Two days later the duet was ready. Yesterday Rachel sang 'Gives You Hell' directed to Finn, so he knows she's pissed. But maybe with this song it'll show him that she doesn't need him.

"Mr Schue, me and Rachel have prepared a song with Hello in the title" I said.

"That's great Ryan, why don't you two come up here and show us!"

"This song, for us, is to celebrate a fresh new beginning" Rachel said.

**Ryan:  
I feel I'm feeling light  
And I'm up to see the sights  
Ain't life a many splendored thing?**

Rachel:  
Ducking up and down  
All those crazy sights and sounds  
Bounce around like puppets on a string  
Never gonna find, anything to change my mind  
Famous last lines of a fool

Ryan:  
Just when you think  
Your chain is just one link  
Something comes to tip you off your stool

Both:  
Hello hello  
Hello hello  
Oh my my, what have we here?  
What a surprise  
What a surprise!

Rachel:  
Hello, Hello  
Hello, Hello  
I'm not alone it's good to know

Ryan:  
Someone's out there to say hello

Both:  
Hello!

Ryan:  
Do a dizzy dance  
Twirl around and take a chance  
Nothing's easy  
Nothing comes for free

Rachel:  
Sniffing on a flower  
Runnin through an autumn shower

Both:  
Bumping into someone else like me

Hello hello  
Hello hello  
Oh my my, what have we here?  
What a surprise  
What a surprise!

Rachel:  
Hello, Hello  
Hello, Hello  
I'm not alone it's good to know

Ryan:  
Someone's out there to say hello

Both:

**And I could fly on the back of a bird**

**I could shake all the leaves from a tree**

**If there's a quest I'm a knight**

**When there's wrong I'll do right**

**Two is better than the one I used to be**

**Ryan:  
Hello, Hello  
**

**Rachel:**

**Hello, Hello**

Ryan:  
Oh my my, what have we here?  
What a surprise  
What a surprise!

Rachel:  
Hello, Hello  
Hello, Hello  
I'm not alone it's good to know

Ryan:  
Someone's out there to say hello

***Repeat x2***

**Both:  
Hello!  
Hello!  
Hello! **

At the end of the song Finn looked both confused and jealous. Everyone else cheered.

/

At the end of the week some of the drama had dispensed. Rachel was now apparently seeing some guy called Jesse something, who may or not be in a rival glee club, I'm really not sure, Mercedes was talking insanely fast when she said it.

We were all sitting in glee club. I raised my hand.

"Mr Schue? I was wondering if I could sing one last song to finish off the week, but it doesn't have 'Hello' in the title."

"Sure Ryan, it's the end of the week so I don't mind, come up and show us what you got!" he said.

I sat on a stool in front of the glee club. "Ok, before I start singing, I just wanna say something… When I started here a few months back, I couldn't sing in front of anybody. I was too afraid. But glee club has helped me overcome my fear. And at New Year's I swore to myself that I would get over my fear of singing a full solo, which is why I'm here now… I thought that it would be fitting for me to sing my first solo about my Hometown… I miss it every single day; I miss my old friends and family… But things change, people move on, and so here I am… With my new family, my new friends, my new home… With this song I wanna celebrate two places; my hometown… and my new home.

_Oh god the nerves are kicking in! I can't breathe… I feel sick… I'm turning red… No! No Ryan! Stop it! You can do this! Just start fucking singing!_

**Ryan:**

**I've been walking in the same way as I did  
Missing out the cracks in the pavement  
And turning my heel and strutting my feet  
"Is there anything I can do for you dear?  
Is there anyone I could call?"  
"No and thank you, please Madam.  
I ain't lost, just wandering"**

Round my hometown  
Memories are fresh  
Round my hometown  
Ooh the people I've met  
Are the wonders of my world  
Are the wonders of my world  
Are the wonders of this world  
Are the wonders of my world

I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque  
I love to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades  
I like it in the city when two worlds collide  
You get the people and the government  
Everybody taking different sides

Shows that we ain't gonna stand shit  
Shows that we are united  
Shows that we ain't gonna take it  
Shows that we ain't gonna stand shit  
Shows that we are united

Round my hometown  
Memories are fresh  
Round my hometown  
Oooh the people I've met

Are the wonders of my world  
Are the wonders of my world  
Are the wonders of this world  
Are the wonders of my world  
Of my world, yeah  
Of my world  
Of my world, yeah  


Sam, Rachel and Sugar both looked like they were on the verge of tears. Blaine, Kurt, Santana and Puck all looked moved.

"That was amazing Ryan, I think I can say for all of us that we're glad this is your new home… C'mon guys, group hug!

I was in a daze for a minute, basking in the embrace of my new family, this really is my new home… I wouldn't change it for the world…


	16. I Don't Give A

**15: I Don't Give A**

The bell rang as we walked into the choir room for another glee practise. Mr Schue had just finished writing something on the whiteboard:

**Madonna.**

"What comes to mind when you see that name?" Mr Schue asked.

"Genius" Rachel said.

"Icon" Kurt beamed.

"Hall of fame MILF" Puck said… I couldn't help but laugh as I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

"So we're all aware of Madonna's musical and cultural significance. Which is why, this week, your assignment is to come up with a Madonna number." Mr Schue said.

The girls all sounded excited. Blaine and I also shared an excited smile. The other guys didn't seem too enthusiastic.

"Uh-Mr Schue, as a dude, Madonna makes me kind of uncomfortable." Puck said.

"Yeah, she's smokin' and everything but can't some of us do something else? Like the guy version of Madonna, like y'know… Pantera?" Finn added.

The guys all seemed to agree with him. Sam looked at me. He seemed unsure. He whispered to me. "I don't care if we sing her songs but she's not really my taste of music…"

"At least you don't care about what people think about you singing it" I whispered back as we both smiled.

I decided to speak up. "Finn, Mr Schue, that's not fair. Blaine, Kurt, Sam and I are all fine with singing Madonna, because we understand that we're in a show choir and we're not always gonna be able to choose the songs that we do. The girls have sung plenty of 'guy songs' so what's the big deal with us singing Madonna. We already get called gay for being in glee club but is singing Madonna gonna make us 'more gay'? No! Oh and Finn, you're the leader of this group. You should be bringing us together, not splitting us down the middle because a song is too gay for you."

"Wow Irish… wanky" Santana said, winking.

Finn looked stunned. Mr Schue looked a little stunned. The girls looked pleased and the other guys looked amused.

"Uh Ryan I probably wouldn't have been as forward as that but I do agree with you… You know it's come to my attention that some of you haven't been treating the young ladies of our group very nicely lately…."

I zoned out for a few minutes as Mr Schue continued, trying to think of some good Madonna numbers. I zoned back in when Puck spoke up again.

"I'm still not down. And no chick intimidates Puckzilla! I just don't think her music translates to show choir."

Rachel and the girls proceeded to sing 'Express Yourself' to prove Puck and the guys wrong… When they finished Puck just said one word. "No."

/

A while later Blaine, Sam, Kurt, Puck and I sat down in the cafeteria.

"I'm actually really excited about this week's lesson. Madonna has so many good songs and she's explored so many different genres that there's something for everybody." I said.

"I agree. She's simply an icon" Kurt said.

"I was thinking you and I could do a duet Ryan? To try and get the other guys to warm up to her songs?"

"Yeah I'd love to!" I said enthusiastically.

"You don't need to convince me she's great. I'm just not really into her music. But she's still a legend." Sam said, smiling.

"So the only Madonna hater here is you Puck" I said jokingly.

"Dude, I don't wanna talk about it." He said irately.

"Oh ok, I was only joking" I said, slightly taken aback.

At that moment Sugar sat down and laid her head on the table.

"What's wrong?" I asked her instinctively.

"Boys… and Money" she said sadly.

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked, looking confused.

She sat up before continuing. She had tear marks down her face.

"Jacob Ben Israel came up to me asking for an interview. He told me that he'd go on a date with me if I bought him new equipment. When I said no he told me that I made a mistake cause no other guy wants me. They only want me for my money." She said before starting to cry again.

I gave her a hug and let her rest on my shoulder.

"Sugar, we've talked about this. Guys like that aren't even worth your time. JBI is a massive dickhead. When a guy gets to know you, he is gonna like you for you, not your money." I said.

"Where is he? I'm gonna get the tool. I think it's time to go back to my dumpster tossing ways for one time only. Sam, Ryan, Blaine, you coming?" Puck said.

"Hang on Puck. Believe me, I want to. But it's not worth it. We're the ones who'll get in trouble for it. I have a better idea. Sugar, why not sing about it?" I asked.

"But I've never done a solo in front of the club. What would I sing about?" she asked.

"I actually have the perfect idea for you. It's a Madonna number. It fits your situation and I think it'll help."

"Yeah, ok. I'm not gonna cry anymore!" She said strongly.

A little while later we were walking out of the cafeteria when I saw JBI walking towards us with a lunch tray in his hand. Puck couldn't help but stick his foot out and let him crash to the floor. I didn't bother helping him up.

/

The next day we were sitting in glee club once again.

"Guys so have any of you thought of a Madonna number to perform?" Mr Schue asked.

"Ryan and I have prepared a little something to celebrate Madonna week" Blaine said.

"Great guys well come on up!" He said enthusiastically.

"Ok so this is for all the guys, to show them that nobody can resist the Power of Madonna… Not Guy Ritchie, or even Robbie Williams." I said.

"The girls are gonna help out a little too" Blaine said.

**She's Madonna:**

**Both:**

**Oh, Madonna, Madonna****  
**

**Blaine:  
I don't miss you****  
Just who****  
You used to be****  
And you don't ring true****  
So please****  
Stop calling me****  
**

**Ryan:**

**Your "I love you's"  
Are ten a penny  
You're dropping clues  
Like you've got any  
You got to choose  
There's been so many ohhhh  
**

(The girls walk in, all dressed in a different Madonna outfit.)

**Both:**

**I love you baby  
But face it she's Madonna  
No man on earth  
Could say that he don't want her  
This look of love  
Says I'm leaving  
You're frozen now  
I've done the freezing  
I'm walking out  
Madonna's calling me**

Blaine:

**She's got to be****  
Obscene to be believed****  
That's her routine****  
Not what she means to me****  
**

**Ryan:**

**I found myself****  
By circumstance****  
Across a room****  
Where people dance****  
And quite by chance****  
She' danced right next me****  
**

**Both:  
I love you baby  
But face it she's Madonna  
No man on earth  
Would say that he don't want her  
It's me not you  
I've got to move on  
You're younger too  
But she's got her groove on  
I'm sorry love  
Madonna's calling me**

Oh, Madonna, Madonna

Blaine:

**I want to tell you a secret**

Ryan:

**We're having drinks  
With Kate and Stella  
Gwyneth's here  
She's brought her fella  
But all I wanna do  
Is take Madonna home**

Blaine:

**I love you baby****  
But face it she's Madonna****  
No man on earth****  
Would say that he don't want her****  
**

**Both:**

**It's me not you  
I've got to move on  
You're younger too  
But she's got her groove on  
I'm sorry love  
Madonna's calling me**

At the end of the song the girls jumped and cheered, as did Sam, Mike and Mr Schue. Finn, Puck and Artie didn't seem impressed.

"That was great guys! Although technically not a Madonna song you were still able to show the Power of Madonna with that song!"

"Thanks Mr Schue. There's one more song you have to hear today. Sugar wants to sing for you."

"Oh well show us what you got Sugar!"

Sam grabbed his guitar and sat on a stool next to Sugar.

"Ok guys, here's the sitch. I'm filthy rich. You guys probably think I have it all. Well I don't. I have money, bling and a big house. But I don't get to see my dad a lot. And I don't have a boyfriend. And until I met Ryan and all of you, I had no friends. I used to buy my friends affection. But I don't wanna do that anymore. I want you all to like me for me. I'm tired of getting used for my money. There's more to know about me than the password to my bank account, which is why Ryan and I put this song together and Sammy is gonna play with me on guitar."

**Love Spent/_Material Girl_:**

**Sugar:**

_**A material, a material, a material, a material **_

**You had all of me, you wanted more  
Would you have married me if I were poor  
Yes, if I was your treasury  
You'd have found a time to treasure me**

How come you can't see  
All that you need  
Is right here with me

Up Until the end  
All this pretend  
Wasn't for free

_'Cause we're living in a material world_

**Spend your love on me  
Spend your love on me  
**

_**'Cause everybody's living in a material world  
**_

**Spend your love on me  
Spend your love on me**

_**A material, a material, a material, a material **_

**If we opened up a joint account  
Would it put an end to all your doubt  
Frankly if my name was Benjamin  
We wouldn't be in the mess we're in**

You played with my heart  
'till death do we part  
That's what you said  
Now you have your fast cars  
Women and bars  
It's gone to your head

_'Cause we're living in a material world_

**Spend your love on me  
Spend your love on me  
**

_**'Cause everybody's living in a material world  
**_

**Spend your love on me  
Spend your love on me**

**Spend your love on me  
**

_**Boys may come and boys may go  
And that's all right you see  
Experience has made me rich  
And now they're after me**_

**Love spent  
Feeling love spent  
Yeah, I'm love spent  
Wondering where the love went  
Love spent  
Yeah I'm love spent  
Really love spent  
Wondering where it all went**

_**Living in a material world (material)  
Living in a material world  
Living in a material world (material)  
Living in a material world  
**_

"That was great Sugar. This just proves that not just the glee guys, but the guys in school need to learn to respect girls." Mr Schue said.

**/**

**2 Days later:**

So I finally know who Jesse s. Jesse St James, leader of Vocal Adrenaline… Or should I say ex-leader… He joined Glee club yesterday and everyone is really pissed off about it. Kurt and Mercedes especially… To be honest I agree with them. They're starts and yet they're going to get even less solos now because he's here, which is why they've joined the Cheerios to give them more of a chance to shine. I know it's kinda like going to the dark side, but they're cover of 4 Minutes at the pep assembly was fucking epic!

/

The guys and Mr Schue had just finished singing 'What It Feels Like for a Girl'. Puck wasn't happy. He didn't want to sing a 'girl's song' so after we all tried to convince him otherwise (even Finn), he stormed out.

I text Sugar and asked her to meet Sam, Blaine and I outside the auditorium immediately.

/

The four of us gathered outside the auditorium.

"Yep I was right; he's in there, just walking around on the stage…" I said as I looked through the window.

"So what's the plan?" Sam asked.

"Well we'll go in there and try to help him deal with this." I said.

And when we think we're getting through to him, we sing the song." Blaine said.

"This is gonna be tough" Sugar said.

We walked into the auditorium as Puck stopped dead and looked at us.

"Go away please" he said.

"No. After everything I've done for you, don't tell me to go away. We're here to help." I said.

"I don't need your help! This is my problem!" he replied.

"We _want_ to help!" Sugar said.

"Look dude, we get it, you don't wanna sing girl's songs, but there's more to it." Sam said.

"Now that you've accepted that you're bisexual, you're terrified that people are gonna find out." Blaine said.

Puck just looked down. "How did you know?"

"Because we're your best friends and we know you… We're here to help, Noah, please let us." I said.

He paused for a moment before sitting on the ground and saying "ok".

"Look I know this is hard for you to deal with. Not only are you bi, but you got one of the most popular girls in school pregnant. If word got out that you're bi, you'd never live it down, because the people that will make fun of you _don't care about you._ They don't know you. They don't know the real you. They just like to see other people feel bad, so they don't feel bad themselves. I know it's easier said than done… But you need to stop caring about what other people think of you. We are you friends, we are here for _you, _we want you to be happy, whether it be with a guy or a girl. You need to take care of yourself. You can come out when you're ready to come out, like me, and like Sam. You're the self proclaimed 'Badass of McKinley High'. But with the way you're acting now, I don't think you can call yourself that anymore. I can only say this so much… But you need to be yourself and accept it. You don't need to come out. But you need to just stop giving a fuck about what other people think. Be who you want to be, not who other people want you to be." I said.

Puck stayed silent for a minute before saying "You're right."

"We're glad you think so, cause we actually have a Madonna song that we want you to sing with us." Sam said.

We all stood up as Blaine ran to get the cd player.

"Be yourself" Sugar said, hugging Puck as the music started.

**I Don't Give A:**

**Ryan/Blaine/Sam/Puck/Sugar:**

**All:**

**I don't give a fu-u-u-u****  
I don't give a fu-u-u-u****  
I don't give a fu-u-u-u****  
I don't give a fu-u-u-u****  
**

**Sam:  
Wake up ex-wife  
This is your life  
Children on your own  
Turning on the telephone  
Messengers, manager  
No time for a manicure  
Working out, shake my ass  
I know how to multi-task  
Connecting to the Wi-Fi  
Went from nerd to superb  
Have you seen the new guy  
I forgot the password  
Gotta call the babysitter  
Tweetin' on the elevator  
I could take a helicopter  
I don't even feel the pressure**

Blaine:

**I'm gonna be OK  
I don't care what the people say  
I'm gonna be alright  
Gonna live fast and I'm gonna live right**

I'm moving fast, can you follow my track  
I'm moving fast and I like it like that  
I do ten things all at once  
And if you have a problem  
I don't give a

Sugar:

**You were so mad at me  
Who's got custody  
Lawyers suck it up  
Didn't have a pre-nup  
Make a film, write a song  
Gotta get my stockings on  
Meet the press, buy the dress  
All of this to impress  
Ride my horse, break some bones  
Take it down a semitone  
I forgot to say my prayers  
Baby Jesus on the stairs  
Gotta sign a contract  
Gotta get my money back  
All the biters have to go  
Standing in the front row**

Ryan:

**I'm gonna be OK****  
I don't care what the people say****  
I'm gonna be alright****  
Gonna live fast and I'm gonna live right******

I'm moving fast, can you follow my track**  
I'm moving fast and I like it like that****  
I do ten things all at once****  
And if you have a problem****  
I don't give a****  
**

**Puck:**

**I tried to be a good guy  
I tried to be the best  
Diminished myself  
And I swallowed my light  
I tried to become all  
That you expect of me  
And if it was a failure  
I don't give a**

I don't give a fu-u-u-u  
I don't give a fu-u-u-u  
I don't give a fu-u-u-u  
I don't give a fu-u-u-u

All:

**I'm gonna be OK  
I don't care what the people say  
I'm gonna be alright  
Gonna live fast and I'm gonna live right**

I'm moving fast, can you follow my track  
I'm moving fast and I like it like that  
I do ten things all at once  
And if you have a problem  
I don't give a 

We all cheered at the end of the song and had a group hug.

"Thanks Ryan, Sugar, Sam, Blaine… Seriously. I don't give a fuck what people think. Thanks for making me remember that." Puck said.

**/**

We all sat in the auditorium for a while before Blaine had to leave. Puck decided to go home then too.

"Thanks again Ryan… What you said really did help." He said as he gave me fist bump. "You got a great guy here Sam." He said smiling as he walked out of the door.

"He's right y'know." Sam said.

I couldn't help but smile.

"I thought of the perfect Madonna song for us to sing. I know we can't sing a romantic song together in front of glee club, but who cares. We can sing it here if you're up for it?" Sam said.

"Of course! What's the song?" I asked.

"Secret. You probably already know it. But listen to the lyrics. It's definitely our Madonna song." He said.

**Secret:**

**Sam:**

**Things haven't been the same  
Since you came into my life  
You found a way to touch my soul  
And I'm never, ever, ever gonna let it go**

Ryan:

**Happiness lies in your own hand  
It took me much too long to understand  
How it could be  
Until you shared your secret with me**

Sam:

**Mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over me  
My baby's got a secret**

Ryan:

**You gave me back the paradise  
That I thought I lost for good  
You helped me find the reasons why  
It took me by surprise that you understood  
You knew all along  
What I never wanted to say  
Until I learned to love myself  
I was never ever lovin' anybody else  
**

**Sam:  
Happiness lies in your own hand  
It took me much too long to understand  
How it could be  
Until you shared your secret with me**

Ryan:

**Mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over me  
My baby's got a secret**

Sam:

**Mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over me  
My baby's got a secret**

Ryan:

**Happiness lies in your own hand  
It took me much too long to understand  
How it could be  
Until you shared your secret with me**

Both:

**Mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over me  
My baby's got a secret**

Mmm mmm (skip for the first two times)  
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over, mmm mmm  
Something's comin' over me  
My baby's got a secret

Mmm mmm, my baby's got a secret  
Mmm mmm, my baby's got a secret  
Mmm mmm, my baby's got a secret for me

Mmm mmm, mmm mmm, mmm mmm 

"Well that song definitely does fit us anyway… I wish we didn't have to be a secret though." I said.

"I know. But we won't always be like this. And I'm happy cause I'm with you, doesn't matter if anyone knows. I'm just glad I have you." He said.

I smiled, lost for words.

"Love you."

"Love you too".

**/**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. I've been insanely busy with college and some other things. Also I apologise for any spelling mistakes, I tend to always miss a few!**


	17. Boyfriends,Girlfriends & Bad Reputations

**16: Boyfriends, Girlfriends & Bad Reputations:**

So it's been a month since Madonna week. It's been pretty quiet lately… well compared to how it usually is around here! But a few things have happened in the last few weeks…

Well Kurt's dad and Finn's mam are now dating. So that kinda makes them related… Or it probably will at some point. Finn has been incredibly weird about it and seems to think that Kurt has a crush on him, even though he's with Blaine!

Kurt has been taking it kinda hard. His dad is spending lot's of 'guy time' with Finn so he feels really left out. He went through a bit of an identity crisis for a while cause of it.

April Rhodes came back for a while, she's filthy rich now and she ended up buying the auditorium for us so Sue can't use it for Cheerios practise anymore! So it's now the "April Rhodes Civic Pavilion"!

Also last week a douchebag called Bryan Ryan came to the club last week to give us a lecture about how we're never gonna achieve our dreams… Very inspiring…

A few bigger things happened in the last few weeks too, specifically during 'Bad Reputation' week and the week after.

**Three weeks ago:**

So we've just found out about the 'Glist'… A list of who apparently gets the most action in glee club. Quinn, Santana, Puck, Britney, Jesse and so on… Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Blaine, Artie, Sugar, Sam and I aren't on it. What the fuck… Look it's not like I wanna be a big man-whore, but I'd rather not have the reputation of a care bear either!

/

The guys have been going crazy about the Glist. Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Sugar and Brittany (because she was only 3rd) decided to do some sort of song and dance in the library to get more of a bad reputation…. It failed. Blaine, Sam and I decided to sit that one out. We're happy the way we are.

Anyways, back to glee club.

"Mr Schue, I was wondering if I could sing a song that I think has a bad reputation?" I asked.

"Sure Ryan! You're really getting used to singing now aren't you!"

"Yeah I am. I'm finally getting comfortable with myself, which is why I don't care about not being on the Glist. Anyways, this song is by Lana Del Rey. It gets a bad reputation for being 'boring' or 'depressing' but I think its haunting and tells a story."

**Born to Die:**

**Ryan:**

**Feet don't fail me now  
Take me to the finish line  
All my heart, it breaks every step that I take  
But I'm hoping that the gates,  
They'll tell me that you're mine  
Walking through the city streets  
Is it by mistake or design?  
I feel so alone on a Friday night  
Can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you're mine  
It's like I told you honey**

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry  
Sometimes love's not enough when the road gets tough  
I don't know why  
Keep making me laugh,  
Let's go get high  
Road's long, we carry on  
Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side  
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain  
You like your girls insane  
Choose your last words  
This is the last time  
'Cause you and I, we were born to die

Lost but now I am found  
I can see but once I was blind  
I was so confused as a little child  
Tried to take what I could get  
Scared that I couldn't find  
All the answers, honey

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry  
Sometimes love's not enough when the road gets tough  
I don't know why  
Keep making me laugh,

Let's go get high  
Road's long, we carry on  
Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side  
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain  
You like your girls insane  
Choose your last words,  
This is the last time  
'Cause you and I  
We were born to die  
We were born to die  
We were born to die

Come and take a walk on the wild side  
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain  
You like your girls insane

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry  
Sometimes love's not enough when the road gets tough  
I don't know why  
Keep making me laugh,  
Let's go get high  
Road's long, we carry on  
Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side  
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain  
You like your girls insane  
Choose your last words  
This is the last time  
Cause You and I  
We were born to die  
We were born to die 

The group clapped less than enthusiastically.

"That was depressing" Finn said.

"That made me wanna kill myself." Santana said.

I rolled my eyes and sat back down. Blaine and Sugar gave me a reassuring pat on the back as Sam whispered "Hey, I liked it". That made me a bit happier but I was still disappointed.

/

At the end of glee club we were about to leave when I heard Santana shout over.

"Hey Irish, Trouty Mouth, I wanna talk to you for a minute."

We hung back to talk to her. She waited until everyone else had left the room before talking.

"So I know you're little secret." She said.

_Shit. _

Sam and I looked at each other with slight panic in out faces.

"What? What secret?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

"Oh c'mon don't play dumb. I know you and Trouty here are dating. It's obvious, after what you said to me at New Year's about you understanding how I felt."

"Please don't tell anyone Santana." Sam pleaded, sounding extremely worried.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone. I may not show it, but I'm scared of what people think of me too. I'm guessing Ryan told you that he tried to talk to me and help me at New Year's. Well I appreciate that. So I'm not gonna tell anyone. But Ryan, you told me that if I ever needed anything, just ask. Well I need you to do something for me… I want you to date me and Britt."

"Wait seriously? But like you just said, Sam and I are together." I said, looking confused, as did Sam.

"I know that! You would still be dating him. And I can still like Britt. This just gives us all a cover up, since none of us wants people finding out. We'd be like each others beards." She replied.

"Um, would Britt know about any of this? Cause it's not like she's the brightest girl around… Would she think we're actually dating?" Sam asked.

"She doesn't have to know. I could just tell her that the Fairies have requested that she pretend to date you for a while… She'll be fine. She likes feeling needed." She said.

"Are you sure? I'd feel kinda bad about using Britt like that." I said. Sam nodded in agreement.

"She'll be fine, I promise. I'll be there to keep her happy anyway. It's just a game of pretend to her." She said.

I looked at Sam. "What do you think?" I asked.

"I kinda think it's a good idea. We can keep up appearances while getting to be together." He said.

"I agree." I said. "Ok Santana, you got yourself a deal. But one question; who's dating who?"

"Well as much as I like them guppy lips, I think I'm gonna have to date you Irish… I do have a certain fondness for you."

I couldn't help but smile a little. "Well that's settled then. We're now Rytana and Bram" I said smirking.

"Don't ruin the moment Irish".

/

**One week later:**

Puck's having a crisis. His mam found a mole on the back of his head so he had to get his mohawk shaved off. This apparently has made him lose his remaining badass-ness. So he's now chasing Mercedes to try and 'date' her, since she's a popular Cheerio now… I thought me and the guys had gotten through to him during Madonna week about not needing to be popular or care what people think of you… But obviously it wasn't effective as we thought.

So to try and get through to him we're gonna sing him a song… again!

This week's theme in glee club is 'Songs that best represent your feelings'. So we've thought of a song that shows our feelings and it also ties in with Puck.

I was walking into glee club when I saw Puck. I walked over to him.

"Hey, listen just a heads up; we have a song to sing for you. Listen to the lyrics and then talk to us after glee club.

"Mr Schue Ryan, Santana, Sugar, Blaine and I have a song that best represent our feelings" Sam said as we all stood up.

"It's about doing what's best for you. Achieving your dream and never just saying 'it can wait till tomorrow'" Blaine added.

"Go ahead guys" Mr Schue said.

**Revolution in the Head:**

**Ryan/Blaine/Sam/Sugar/Santana:**

**Santana:**

**Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-oh-oh-oh**

Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-oh-oh-oh

Sugar:

**Hey, hey, hey  
Oh, oh, oh  
Hey, hey, hey  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
**

**Santana:**

**Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-oh-oh-oh**

Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-oh-oh-oh

Sugar:

**Hey, hey, hey  
Oh, oh, oh  
Hey, hey, hey  
Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh**

**Sam:**

**I really wanna  
But then again  
I guess I just don't know  
I'm needing me an answer  
Been waiting all night**

Ryan:

**A navigator  
Oh won't you tell me which way to go  
I can't shake off the feeling  
I got to hold tight**

Blaine & Santana:

**Revolution in the head don't count for nothing  
You gotta, you gotta move that ass  
Revolution in the head don't count for nothing  
You gotta, you gotta beat the past  
Revolution in the head don't count for nothing boy  
You gotta move the mask  
Revolution in the head don't count for nothing  
You gotta, You gotta move that ass**

Sugar:

**Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-oh-oh-oh**

Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-oh-oh-oh

Blaine:

**Hey, hey, hey  
Oh, oh, oh  
Hey, hey, hey  
Oh, oh, oh**

Ryan:

**Better late than never  
What's the devil gonna do with your life?**

Sam:

**Better late than ever  
'Cause wherever is a hell of a long time  
You see**

Blaine:

**Never get the treasure man  
Unless you really go with the tide**

Santana:

**And if the never, nevers worth the doing,  
Its were doing it right  
We're doin' it right**

Sugar:

**I really wanna  
But then again my feet are feeling cold  
You're telling me manana  
Let's call it a night**

It's too easy  
To turn the TV on and stay at home  
We always go tomorrow  
To make it alright

Ryan & Santana:

**Revolution in the head don't count for nothing  
You gotta, you gotta move that ass  
Revolution in the head don't count for nothing  
You gotta, you gotta beat the past  
Revolution in the head don't count for nothing boy  
You gotta move the mask  
Revolution in the head don't count for nothing  
You gotta, You gotta move that ass**

Santana & Sugar: 

**Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-oh-oh-oh**

Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-ting  
Gimme-da-oh-oh-oh

Hey, hey, hey  
Oh, oh, oh  
Hey, hey, hey  
Oh, oh, oh

Sam:

**Oh, kids don't fight it  
You gotta keep on shining  
You ain't no sidekick  
Now get your bike and ride it**

Oh, keep on climbing  
Reach the top and sign it  
Life goes by quick  
So don't you let that time tick

All:

**Revolution in the head don't count for nothing  
You gotta, you gotta move that ass  
Revolution in the head don't count for nothing  
You gotta, you gotta beat the past  
Revolution in the head don't count for nothing boy  
You gotta move the mask  
Revolution in the head don't count for nothing  
You gotta, You gotta move that ass  
**

The whole group cheered when we were done.

"Well done guys! Great work!" Mr Schue said.

/

Sam, Blaine, Sugar, Puck and I waited behind at the end of glee practise.

"So it's time for the next intervention is it?" Puck asked.

"Yep" I said. "Look we've already said this to you Noah."

"We thought we got through to you during Madonna week" Blaine said.

"But obviously not" Sam said.

"We can't help you anymore than we already have. You care too much about what other people think of you than you do yourself! Like the songs says, you need to have your little moment, or 'revolution' in your head. _You _need to realise that taking care of yourself is more important than worrying what other people think of you." I said.

"You're right. I swear you guys did get through to me during Madonna week. It's just this week, after I got my mohawk shaved off… It's like my safety net was just ripped from under me. I felt weak and vulnerable. I got scared… I'm not gonna do it again." He said.

"Well we're glad to hear it" Blaine said.

"Totally dude" Sam said.

"I really appreciate what you guys have done for me time and time again. I'm not so good at saying my feelings… But thanks… You guys are my best friends. I appreciate it."

"No probs Puck, we love you! Y'know we've been thinking about something. Since Santana are pretending to date Ryan and Sam. Why don't I pretend to date you for a while? It'll put less pressure on you cause people will think you have a girlfriend so you won't be getting with anyone else!" Sugar said.

"That's a pretty good idea actually. I'm down with that!" Puck said.

"It's settled then!" I said.

"It's good to have you back due!" Sam said.

"Absolutely" Blaine said.

We all joined in for a group hug, celebrating.


	18. Speechless

**17: Speechless**

_So life has been pretty good lately. To think of how far we've come since September is crazy. Of course all the jocks are still throwing slushies at us and the Cheerios still make fun of us, but it's different now. We have Glee. All of us may not get along, but I know we always have this little family to rely on. Sam and I have been going great; we've just been hanging out loads, doing some of the nerdiest things you can think of. The rest of the gang has been great really, a few mishaps but they've all been dealt with. So yeah, life is good. ._

_Anyways, so Mr Schue has given us our assignment of the week… It's Lady GaGa week. It's Lady Fucking GaGa week. It's GaGa week. Like what the actual holy fuck it's GaGa week. Oh my sweet Jesus it's GaGa week. I'm so freaking excited right now it's unbelievable! Seriously I'm not even overreacting right now. She's mine and Sugar's idol. Holy fucking shit… It's GaGa week!_

/

**A few hours later:**

We all piled into the choir room quickly as Mr Schue walked in.

"Ok guys so you're probably wondering why I called you all here. Finn came to me after our last meeting and expressed his concern about the guys doing GaGa this week. So we've come up with an alternative; KISS. You guys can dress up as the band members from KISS and perform their songs instead."

"Is this like a repeat of Madonna week? Seriously? Finn's dividing the club yet again" I said, as I rolled my eyes.

"Ryan, Finn just expressed his concern that some of the guys might not be comfortable dressing up like Lady GaGa. This is an alternative for them. You're free to choose what you want to do, GaGa or KISS."

"Sounds fair." Artie said happily.

/

Puck, Blaine, Kurt, Sugar, Sam, Santana , Brittany and I all walked out of glee club together.

"Ugh Finn pisses me off! But I suppose it's good for you guys to have the option of something else to dress as. Lady GaGa doesn't just wear bras and dresses though. She has outfits that a guy could pull off." I said to the guys.

"Wow baby you're hot when you're all passionate about things" Santana said.

"Santana everyone here knows we're not really dating, dial down the horniness" I said.

"Um, I agree dude. I'm gonna wear a GaGa outfit tomorrow. Sugar's gonna help me. I'm gonna do KISS then the day after." Puck said.

"That sounds like a plan dude. I think I'll do that. That ok with you Ryan?" Sam asked.

"Of course Sam, you don't have to ask me! It's up to you if you want to go with KISS or GaGa." I said.

"So Santana, Sugar, Kurt, Blaine, I was hoping we could try and brainstorm some ideas for outfits. I can't sew…"

"Sure, gots to make sure my mam looks good for me." Santana said.

"Oh and there's the horniness again" Sam said, slightly disgruntled.

"Santana's has horns? Is she a devil, or a goat?" Brittany asked.

/

**Tuesday:**

We all walked into glee club to a flash of colours and glitter. Most of us were all dressed up in some sort of GaGa outfit, sans Finn, Artie, Mike and Mr Schue.

Mercedes had a purple wig and glittery dress with huge shoulder pads.

Tina had the bubble dress with a small blonde wig.

Kurt had the outfit from Bad Romance with 10inch heels.

Brittany had a lobster on her head… Yeah.

Quinn had a pink version of the Grammy's dress, pink highlights and all.

Santana had a black lace bodysuit with a gigantic rose on her head.

Blaine had a vest, shorts, boots and bandana with the American flag, from Telephone.

Sugar had a frilly dress which popped up to become like Saturn's rings.

Puck was in a suit and had the full skull makeup done.

Sam had the Mickey Mouse sunglasses and jumpsuit.

I had the Orbit. I could hardly move… But it's worth it!

"Wow you guys truly are Little Monsters! You guys look amazing!" Mr Schue said, "So who wants to sing first".

"That would be me and my new beau here" Santana said as she pointed to me.

"You guys are dating?" Finn asked in disbelief.

"Well duh Frankenteen!" She replied.

"Brittany and I are gonna join in on this one" Sam said.

"Us too!" Sugar said as she pulled Puck up to us.

Puck and Sam stood to my left and right as the girls began to revolve around all 3 of us.

**Dance In the Dark:**

**Santana/Ryan/Brittany/Sam/Puck/Sugar:**

**Santana:**

**Silicon, saline, poison inject me  
Baby, I'm a free bitch  
I'm a free bitch**

Ryan:

**Some girls won't dance to the beat of the track  
She won't walk away  
But she won't look back  
**

**Sam:**

**She looks good  
But her boyfriend says she's a mess  
She's a mess  
She's a mess  
**

**Puck:**

**Now the girl is stressed  
She's a mess  
She's a mess  
She's a mess  
She's a mess**

Santana/Brittany/Sugar:  
Baby loves to dance in the dark  
Cause when he's lookin'  
She falls apart  
Baby loves to dance, dance in the dark (Tell 'em, girls)

**Baby loves to dance in the dark  
Cause when he's lookin'  
She falls apart  
Baby loves to dance, dance in the dark (Tell 'em, girls)  
**

**Sugar:  
Run, run  
Her kiss is a vampire grin  
The moon lights her way while she's howlin' at him  
**

**Santana:**

**She looks good  
But her boyfriend says she's a tramp  
She's a tramp  
She's a vamp  
But she still does her dance  
**

**Brittany:**

**She's a tramp  
She's a vamp  
But she still kills the dance  
(Tell 'em, girls)**

Ryan/Puck/Sam:

**Baby loves to dance in the dark  
Cause when he's lookin'  
She falls apart  
Baby loves to dance in the dark (Tell 'em, girls)  
Baby loves to dance in the dark  
Cause when he's lookin'  
She falls apart  
Baby loves to dance, dance in the dark (Tell 'em, girls)**

Santana:

**In the dark  
She loves to dance in the dark  
In the dark  
She loves, she loves to dance in the dark**

Brittany:

**Marilyn  
Judy  
Sylvia  
Tell 'em how you feel girls!**

Sugar:

**Work your blond (Jean) Benet Ramsey  
We'll haunt like Liberace  
Find your freedom in the music  
Find your Jesus  
Find your Kubrick  
You will never fall apart  
Diana, you're still in our hearts  
Never let you fall apart  
Together we'll dance in the dark**

All:

**Baby loves to dance in the dark  
Cause when he's lookin'  
She falls apart  
Baby loves to dance in the dark  
Baby, baby loves to dance in the dark  
Cause when he's lookin'  
She falls apart  
Baby loves to dance in the dark  
In the dark **

We stopped to hear the sound of applause.

"Amazing!" Kurt said enthusiastically.

_A few minutes later we heard the story about Rachel's birth mother turning out to be Shelby Corcoran, coach of Vocal Adrenaline. Then she appeared and swore that she wouldn't betray us for them. Then we all sang Bad Romance (Minus the straight guys)._

_/_

**The next day:**

_Today was fun. The guys sang a KISS song and they sounded great! Puck came to talk to me after a while, he had been trying to talk to Quinn about her plans for the baby but she didn't want to talk about it, so he's asked for me help to try and convince her. Time to find a song!_

_Oh Kurt also told us today that Finn and his mam are moving in with Kurt and his dad. Lucky Kurt. Glad I'm not him._

_/_

_I'm really happy for Puck. The plan was a success. All the guys sang "Beth" to Quinn. Puck wants to name the baby that. She agreed. She still wants to give Beth up for adoption but she agreed to let Puck be there for the birth. He's terrified but really happy too._

_/_

**Thursday:**

I had just walked to my locker before class. Blaine and Kurt were there talking. Blaine looked like he was comforting him, Kurt looked miserable.

"Hey guys. What's wrong Kurt?"

"It's Finn… Um it doesn't matter, I know you don't like him. It doesn't matter." Kurt said.

"No what's wrong. Did he do something to you?" I asked.

"He called Kurt a fag" Blaine whispered to me.

"He did what?" I asked, looking shocked. "Have you told anyone?" I asked.

"No, not yet. It was just a mistake" Kurt said.

"That was no fucking mistake. Why haven't you told Mr Schue? Blaine, why haven't you said something to Finn? Why the fuck should he get away with this? You know what, fuck this!" I said as I stormed to glee practise.

"You fucking wanker!" I shouted across the room as Finn and everyone else turned to look at me. The guys all looked confused.

"How dare you treat Kurt like that. What the fuck gives you the right?" I said.

"What's going on?" Mr Schue asked.

"Will you tell him or will I Finn?" I asked. He said nothing. "Didn't think you would… Finn called Kurt a fag."

The club looked at Finn in shock.

"Is this true Finn" Mr Schue asked.

"Yeah" He said timidly. "I made a mistake, he kept on changing the room and it slipped out".

"So it was an accident?" Mr Schue asked.

"Of course" Finn said.

"Look Ryan, Finn made a mistake, it happens, as long as he apologises to Kurt I think it'll be ok" He said.

"Are you serious? Finn is the leader of a club that preaches equality and acceptance, and yet when he calls someone in the club a fag, he gets off scot free? What the fuck! That's not right!" I shouted. "Fuck this" I said as I left the room.

/

I sat down in the auditorium and tried to cool down.

I heard footsteps behind me. Santana and Sam walked in.

"Look I appreciate you guys coming after me but I seriously could kill someone right now… I think I just need to be alone" I said.

"No way, you wouldn't let Puck do that a few weeks back. I'm not letting you do it now. I love you and I'm here to help." Sam said.

He walked over and gave me a hug. Santana put her hand on my shoulder. I calmed down a little.

"Calm down Irish. This is isn't your fight. This is between Kurt and Finn" She said.

"I know but Kurt isn't gonna do anything about it. Why should Finn get away with something like this? Why does he deserve another chance? He's already had so many." I asked.

"Why do you hate him so much?" She asked.

"I don't hate him. I just dislike him a lot. He's selfish. He only cares about himself. He was a bully, just like Puck. But unlike Puck, not once has he apologised for what he did to me or any of the guys in glee. Yet he's the fucking co-leader of the club. It's fucked up! Why should he get away with this?" I said.

"That's true when you put it like that babe" Sam said.

"You're right Ryan. Finn's a major douche. But things aren't gonna change. He's gonna be worshipped by Rachel and Mr Schue till he leaves this place for good. Look, just try and forget about it… You have your real friends to focus on; Sugar, Sam, Puck, Blaine, Kurt, Britt, and me." She said smiling at me.

"You're right. Why should I let it bother me? Fuck it. Of course I'm pissed off about it, but I won't say anything else about it." Thanks Santana, Sam. You're a great fake-girlfriend and real boyfriend." I said smiling.

/

**The next day:**

I walked into the choir room the next day to see Finn look directly at me. He looked like he was going to say something but he looked away as his mouth began to open. I walked up to him.

"Hey. Look I'm sorry about yesterday. I'm insanely pissed off about it, but I had no right to give out to you about it. It's not my fight. It's between you and Kurt." I said.

"It's cool man. You were right. I've apologised to Kurt. But I don't think that that's enough to make him forgive me."

"I'm sure in time he will. Just don't do anything like that again, because I literally will kill you." I said as I went to sit down.

"Ryan?" I heard him say behind my back.

I turned around. "Yeah?"

"Uh, forget it" He said as he looked at the ground and turned away.

/

After a while Glee practise was almost over. I decided this was my time to speak up.

"Mr Schue? Santana, Sam and I like to sing a GaGa song to finish off the week" I said.

"Sure guys come on up" He said.

"Ok so this is dedicated to one person. Once you hear the song, you'll know who you are. When you know, I want you to join in." I said.

**Speechless:**

**All:**

**How, how, how, how, how**

I can't believe what you said to me  
Last night when we were alone  
You threw your arms up  
Baby you gave up, you gave up

I can't believe how you looked at me  
With your James Dean glossy eyes  
In your tight jeans with your long hair  
And your cigarette stained lies  


At this point we heard Kurt's voice beginning to sing as he realised that the song was for him.

**Could we fix you if you broke?  
And is your punch line just a joke?**

I'll never talk again  
Oh boy you've left me speechless  
You've left me speechless, so speechless  
And I'll never love again  
Oh boy you've left me speechless  
You've left me speechless, so speechless

I can't believe how you slurred at me  
With your half wired broken jaw  
You popped my heart seams  
All my bubble dreams, bubble dreams

I can't believe how you looked at me  
With your Johnnie Walker eyes  
He's gonna get you and after he's through  
There's gonna be no love left to rye

And I know that it's complicated  
But I'm a loser in love  
So baby raise a glass to mend  
All the broken hearts  
Of all my wrecked up friends

I'll never talk again  
Oh boy you've left me speechless  
You've left me speechless, so speechless

I'll never love again  
Oh friend you've left me speechless  
You've left me speechless, so speechless

How? Ha-ooh-wow? H-ow? Wow  
Ha-ooh-wow? H-ow? Wow

And after all the drinks and bars that we've been to  
Would you give it all up?  
Could I give it all up for you?

And after all the boys and the girls that we've been through  
Would you give it all up?  
Could you give it all up?

If I promised boy to you  
That I'll never talk again  
And I'll never love again  
I'll never write a song  
Won't even sing along  
I'll never love again

How, how, how so speechless  
You left me speechless, so speechless baby

Will you ever talk again?  
Oh boy, why you so speechless?  
You've left me speechless, so speechless

Some men may follow me  
But you choose "death and company"  
Why you so speechless? Oh oh oh 

At the end of the song Kurt hugged all three of us and said "I hope that this song was enough to express myself over recent events."

/

At the end of the week Kurt was almost beaten up by Karofsky and Azimio but in the end Finn saved the day, dressed in shower curtain (Trying to be GaGa). I still can't forgive him. But at least he seems to be trying to make up for how he acted, and that's all I ask for…


	19. Journey

**18: Journey**

_Regional's is tomorrow. I'm so fucking nervous. The whole club is! Jesse betrayed Rachel and left us to go back to Vocal Adrenaline. We've lost a star and they've gained one. Shit. Not only do we have to worry about that, but now it turns out that Coach Sylvester is one of the judges… So basically we're screwed and the whole club has been depressed because we don't glee club to end, but we know that if we don't win Regional's, the club is gonna be forced to disband… I don't want that to happen, glee has changed me. I've met so many amazing people, I've finally learned to become confident with my singing, I got a boyfriend, and 3 other best friends… It can't end… It's changed my life. Anyways, we can't just wallow in self pity. We want to win this! We are going to with our Journey medley!_

_/_

_We had just got off the stage when something unexpected happened. Quinn's mam showed up asking her to come home… and then Quinn's water broke… Talk about shit fucking timing. Puck is freaking out, Quinn is freaking out, Rachel is freaking out, Mr Schue is freaking out, we're all freaking the fuck out! Vocal Adrenaline are about to perform so she's gonna stay here and check out our competition while the rest of us go to the hospital with Quinn. This is fucking scary…_

_/_

We rushed down the halls like a stampede.

"Mom it hurts so bad!" Quinn said, whimpering as Puck pushed her in the wheelchair.

"My daughter is having a baby!" Quinn's mam shouted to the nurse.

"Ok right this way", as she lead the three to a set of double doors.

"Wait-wait! I want Mercedes with me too" Quinn said, reaching for Mercedes' hand as she nodded in agreement.

"Wait, can Ryan come in with me too then?" Puck asked.

_I couldn't believe he'd want me in there with him… That means a lot.._

"I'm sorry but there can't be more than 3 guests in the delivery room at one time. He can wait here with the others and you can give him news once we move along."

"You'll be fine Noah, I'll be right here if you need me, we all will" I said reassuringly as Sam, Sugar and Blaine all nodded.

"Ok" Puck said, looking nervous.

They then ran through the double doors.

/

We had been waiting in the room for a few minutes when the nurse rushed back into the room.

"Which one of you is Ryan?" She said.

"I am" I said as I stood up.

"Can you come with me please?" She asked as she opened the double doors.

"The father is very nervous so I decided it might be best for you to be in the delivery room with him, seeing as he requested you earlier. Are you squeamish at all?" She said.

"No I'll be fine." I said as she handed me a set of scrubs.

We walked into the room to hear Quinn screaming in agony as her Mother and Mercedes held her hand. Puck was at the end of the table looking extremely nervous. I walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"The nurse thought you might need a bit of help" I said as I squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Stay calm."

"I'm trying" he said timidly, looking extremely nervous.

"Let's just be here for Quinn and Beth and help them through this ok" I said as I tried my best to avoid looking at the gruesome sight between Quinn's legs.

"Ok" he replied.

/

A little while later, Beth was born. Mercedes and I decided to go back to update the others while Quinn recovered and Puck saw Beth.

We walked into the room and all eyes immediately looked to us.

"What's the news?" Mr Schue asked.

"Did the stork bring Quinn's baby yet?" I heard Brittany ask Santana.

"Quinn just had the baby. She's recovering her now while Puck and her mam are with Beth." I said.

"She's happy and healthy and she looks just like Quinn" Mercedes said.

"That's great news guys. Well now that we know they're all safe and happy, we should probably get back to Regional's. We can still make the awards ceremony." Mr Schue said.

"Ok cool I'll just run and let them know we're going ok" I said.

/

I walked into the room as Quinn was lying down and Puck was leaning over Beth in her cradle.

"Hey, listen we're gonna go back to Regional's now and give you guys some peace ok." I said.

"Yeah ok… Thank you Ryan, for everything." He said.

"It's my pleasure Noah. What are best friends for?" I said.

He smiled.

"Ok, take care and I'll talk to you properly tomorrow." I said.

"Let me know the result" He shouted as I walked out of the room.

/

_We lost… _

_We didn't even place… _

_Glee is over…_

/

**A few days later:**

_We've all been miserable for the last few days .Glee is ending. We've worked so hard all year to make it great and through all of our efforts, we still failed. I don't understand. We were really great. We've decided to pay Mr Schue a little tribute. None of us would be where we are today if it wasn't for him. He brought us together. I just wish this didn't have to break us apart…_

_/_

Rachel walked into the auditorium, followed by Mr Schue. He sat down facing the stage as he looked at all of us, sitting on stools arranged in a semi-circle on the stage.

Everyone was emotional.

"So, we have something we need to say to you" Rachel said as she sat back down in the centre on her stool.

Me: "At the start of this year, I couldn't sing in front of anyone".

Sugar: "I had no friends".

Blaine: "I was the only out gay kid".

Sam: "I was just another football player".

Tina: "I had a stutter".

Mercedes: "I was a closeted diva".

Quinn: "I used to be captain of the Cheerios".

Mike: "I was afraid to dance outside my room".

Santana: "I hated everyone in this club".

Brittany: "So did I".

Kurt: "I wasn't honest about who I was".

Puck: "I was tossing kids into dumpsters".

Artie: "I had never kissed a girl before".

Rachel: "I was getting slushied".

Finn: "I didn't have a father… Someone I could look up to, model myself after. Someone who could show me what it really meant to be a man".

"We don't care what the judges say… We won; because we had you as a teacher" Rachel said.

"Glee club will never end Mr Schue because… You are glee club." Mercedes said, choking back the tears. "I think you're in all of us now".

We proceeded to sing "To Sir with Love" as we all openly cried at the thought of the glee club ending.

/

After the song ended, we all slowly made our way out of the room, Mr Schue hugging each of us as we did so. As I opened the doors, I got a text from Puck.

**Can u hang back 4 a sec?**

I walked back into the auditorium where Puck was waiting.

"I wanted to say thanks again for everything Ryan… I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't have made these amazing new friends; I wouldn't have gotten a second family with glee… Hell, I mightn't even still be alive… Who knows what I would have done if you hadn't been there to help me…" he said before breaking down and crying.

I gave him a hug and got him to sit down on one of the seats.

"Is this about Beth?" I asked him.

"She's gone. Rachel's mom adopted her. Quinn wouldn't keep her. I thought I didn't want to either but when I saw her… I changed. I wanted to keep her. I don't care if I'm with Quinn or not… I want my daughter!" He said as sobbed into my shoulder.

"Noah it's gonna be ok… You're gonna get through this. It's for the best. Beth is going to get a great life and you'll still be able to see her. It's for the best." I said, trying to comfort him.

I sat there for the next hour as Puck sobbed as he aired everything out, until he felt ok.

/

**The next day:**

We all piled into the choir room for our very last glee meeting. Everyone was silent as we waited for Mr Schue to speak.

"We've got another year" he said.

A collection of "what's" filled the room.

"Come on, we've got another year!" He shouted.

Everyone cheered.

_I'm absolutely ecstatic! It's not over after all. The family is still intact for another year! _

**A/N: I just realised that although I put a few smiley/sad faces into parts of the story, they don't show up when I upload! I'll try to fix it when I get the time.**


	20. Reflections

**19: Reflections**

_Everything is going well again! The drama from last week has dispersed. We may have lost Regional's, but we still get to have another year of glee club. We're all ecstatic about it. The mood all week has just been amazing. We've all been celebrating, even though we lost! There's no real need to have glee for the last few weeks of before summer since there's no more competitions for us, so we still hang out but we don't have practise in the choir room, which is kinda sad. But we'll be back next year!_

_/_

I walked over to Santana at the lockers.

"Hey lover boy" she said.

"Hey Santana" I said.

"So what's up? You look all serious. Did Berry steal you're pot of gold?" She smirked.

"Um… Santana, I need to tell you something… Lately I've been having these feelings; feelings for you. Feelings I've never had for a girl before… I think I love you" I said.

"What?" She said quickly as her mouth fell into an O shape.

I burst out laughing.

"Sorry I couldn't even finish that! No of course I don't love you that way!" I said while laughing.

"You're a dick!" She spat back as she playfully smacked me.

"Ah it was just a joke. You know Sam's my one and only… But I did wanna say something actually… I do love you, as a friend." I said softly.

A small smile appeared on her face.

"You know, I never thought that we would become friends. I thought you were the school bitch, the HBIC… Don't get me wrong, you are… But you're more than that. You're a genuinely decent person and I'm glad I can call you my friend… and 'girlfriend'" I said, winking.

"I dunno what to say… Thanks Ryan. Thank you too, for being here for me, for offering me a shoulder to cry on about Brittany when you didn't even know me properly. I love you too, as a friend… But make no mistake, you tell anyone I said that and I'll make you pay" she said seriously.

"Of course" I said laughing as I gave her a hug.

/

I was sitting in the middle of the auditorium when I heard the doors open. I looked up to see Puck and Sam walking in. A second later I saw Blaine and Sugar following them.

"I see you got my text" I said, smiling. "Come sit down".

"Hey" Sam beamed as he gave me a kiss and sat down next to me.

"So what's up BMA? Is everything ok?" Sugar said, looking worried.

"No this is good, Ryan is smiling, you can always tell when something bad is happening cause Ryan has this look" Blaine said.

"True that" Puck said.

"I have a look? I didn't know that… anyways! No it's nothing bad. But since we have no glee for a while I thought we could just maybe sing a little here? The five of us, singing anything we want; solos we got, or didn't get." I said.

"Sounds like a plan, I'll start" Puck said. "This song is the reason I'm standing here today. Cause if Ryan hadn't heard me singing this, I wouldn't have joined glee and been accepted by you guys".

**Sweet Caroline:**

**Where it began, I can't begin to knowing  
But then I know it's growing strong  
Was in the spring  
Then spring became the summer  
Who'd have believed you'd come along**

Hands, touching hands  
Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline  
Good times never seemed so good  
I'd be inclined  
To believe they never would  
Oh no, no

Look at the night and it don't seem so lonely  
We filled it up with only two  
And when I hurt  
Hurting runs off my shoulder  
How can I hurt when I'm holding you

One, touching one  
Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline  
Good times never seemed so good  
I'd be inclined  
To believe they never would  
Oh no, no

"Wow dude that was great! I'll go next!" Sam said. "Well I was gonna sing this as my audition song for glee before we did the group number instead. Now you know who I would have been singing it about".

**I'm Yours:**

**Well, you dawned on me and you bet I felt it  
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted  
I fell right through the cracks and now I'm trying to get back  
Before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my bestest  
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention  
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some**

I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well, open up your mind and see like me  
Open up your plans and, damn, you're free  
Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love  
Listen to the music of the moment, maybe sing with me  
All a peaceful melody  
It's your God-forsaken right to be love, love, love, loved, love, loved

So I won't hesitate, no more, no more  
It cannot wait, I'm sure  
There's no need to complicate  
Our time is short  
This is our fate  
I'm yours

(Doo da doo doo doo doo do 'n' dooo, da doo . . .)

I been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror  
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer  
My breath fogged up the glass  
So I drew a new face and laughed  
I guess what I'm a-saying is there ain't no better reason  
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons  
It's what we aim to do  
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait, I'm sure

We all start to join in.****

There's no need to complicate**  
(Well, open up your mind and see like me)  
Our time is short****  
(Open up your plans and damn you're free)  
It cannot wait****  
(Look into your heart and you'll find love)  
I'm yours****  
(Love, love, love)  
And no, I won't hesitate****  
(Listen to the music of the moment, come and dance with me)  
No more, no more****  
(All our one big family)  
It cannot wait****  
(It's your God-forsaken right to be love)  
I'm sure****  
(Love, love, loved)  
No need to complicate****  
(Open up your mind and see like me)  
Our time is short****  
(Open up your plans, and damn, you're free)  
This is our fate****  
(Look into your heart and you'll find love)  
I'm yours****  
(Love, love, love)  
No, please don't complicate****  
(Listen to the music of the moment, come and dance with me)  
Our time is short****  
(All our happy family)  
This is our fate****  
(It's our God-forsaken right to be love)  
I'm yours****  
(Love, love, loved)  
No, please don't hesitate****  
(Listen to the music of the moment, come and dance with me)  
No more, no more****  
(All our peaceful melodies)  
It cannot wait****  
(It's your God-forsaken right to be love)  
The sky is yours****  
(Love, love, loved)**

Sam gave me a hug as he sat down. "Guess who it's about." He said smiling.

"Totally about Blaine" I said, winking.

"Well in that case, I'd better go next" Blaine said. "I'm gonna go for one of the songs I've wanted to do this year. I was thinking about it for my audition song actually".

**It's Not Unusual:**

**It's not unusual to be loved by anyone  
It's not unusual to have fun with anyone  
But when I see you hanging about with anyone  
It's not unusual to see me cry; I wanna die**

It's not unusual to go out at any time  
But when I see you out and about, it's such a crime  
If you should ever want to be loved by anyone  
It's not unusual it happens every day, no matter what you say

You'll find it happens all the time  
Love will never do what you want it to  
Why can't this crazy love be mine?

It's not unusual to be mad with anyone  
It's not unusual to be sad with anyone  
But if I ever find that you've changed at anytime  
It's not unusual to find out I'm in love with you

"That was so cool, my turn!" Sugar shouted excitedly. "So I wanna sing a really cool song from the UK that Ryan got me into! It's about you guys, since I know I can always turn to you when I need help."

**I Turn to You:**

**When the world is darker than I can understand  
When nothing turned out the way I planned  
When the sky turns grey and theres no end in sight  
When I cant sleep through the lonely night**

I turn to you  
Like a flower leaning towards the sun  
I turn to you  
cause youre the only one  
Who can turn me around  
When Im upside down  
I turn to you

When my insides are wracked with anxiety  
You have the touch that will quiet me  
You lift my spirit. You melt the ice  
When I need inspiration, when I need advice

I turn to you  
Like a flower leaning towards the sun  
I turn to you  
cause youre the only one  
Who can turn me around  
When Im upside down  
I turn to you

I turn to you  
Like a flower leaning towards the sun  
I turn to you  
cause youre the only one  
Who can turn me around  
When Im upside down  
I turn to you

Where would I be? What would I do?  
If youd never helped me through  
I hope someday if youve lost your way  
You turn to me like I turn to you

I turn to you  
Like a flower leaning towards the sun  
I turn to you  
cause youre the only one  
Who can turn me around  
When Im upside down  
I turn to you

I turn to you  
When fear tells me to turn around  
Who can turn me around  
I turn to you  
I turn to you

I turn to you  
When fear tells me to turn around  
Who can turn me around  
I turn to you  
I turn to you

I turn to you  
Like a flower leaning towards the sun  
I turn to you  
cause youre the only one  
Who can turn me around  
When Im upside down  
I turn to you

"Awh I'm glad you can turn to us, love you BMA." I said. "I'm gonna sing the song I was originally gonna audition for glee yet. It's a great song so why not let it get its moment to shine, seeing as I choked the first time".

**Set Fire to the Rain:**

**I let it fall, my heart  
And as it fell you rose to claim it  
It was dark and I was over  
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me**

My hands, they're strong  
But my knees were far too weak  
To stand in your arms  
Without falling to your feet

But there's a side to you  
That I never knew, never knew  
All the things you'd say  
They were never true, never true  
And the games you play  
You would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain  
Watched it pour as I touched your face  
Well, it burned while I cried  
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!

When I lay with you  
I could stay there  
Close my eyes  
Feel you here forever  
You and me together  
Nothing is better

'Cause there's a side to you  
That I never knew, never knew  
All the things you'd say  
They were never true, never true  
And the games you play  
You would always win, always win

But I set fire to the rain  
Watched it pour as I touched your face  
Well, it burned while I cried  
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I set fire to the rain  
And I threw us into the flames  
Where it felt something die  
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time

Sometimes I wake up by the door  
That heart you caught must be waiting for you  
Even now when we're already over  
I can't help myself from looking for you

I set fire to the rain  
Watched it pour as I touched your face  
Well, it burned while I cried  
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I set fire to the rain  
And I threw us into the flames  
Where it felt something die  
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time, oh, oh

Oh no  
Let it burn  
Oh oh oh  
Let it burn  
Oh oh oh  
Let it burn  
Oh oh oh

Everyone clapped as I sat back down.

"So… It's been quite a year" I said. "School was never this exciting back home".

"Cause we weren't there" Sugar and Puck said in unison.

"Well that's true" I said, smiling.

"Honestly… I'm so glad I met all you guys. I've never felt so at home, felt like I had a family outside of my own. It's an amazing feeling." I said.

"I've never felt so included and loved" Sugar said.

"I had friends back at Dalton but we were never as close as we've become in such a short space of time. You guys are my second family".

"Seconded" Puck said.

"Third-ed" Sam said.

"I can't believe you're my boyfriend. What did I do to deserve you?" I said as I smiled at Sam.

"I could say the same back to you… But I won't… Cause I know its faith" Sam said. "Faith brought us together; all of us together. These friendships… This second family… Glee… It was meant to be. God knew what he was doing when he made us" Sam said.

"Written in the Stars" Blaine said.

"That's deep" Sugar said.

"Isn't that a song from the UK? You showed it to me didn't you?" Puck asked me.

"Yeah it is actually… And I think now would be the perfect time to sing it" I said.

**Written In the Stars:**

**Ryan:**

**Oh written in the stars  
A million miles away  
A message to the mane  
No**

**Ryan/Blaine:  
Seasons come and go  
But I will never change  
And I'm on my way**

Puck:

**Let's go  
Yeah  
You're listening now  
They say they ain't heard nothing like this in a while  
That's why they play my song on so many different dials  
'Cause I got more fuckin' hits than a disciplined child  
When they see me everybody brrap's, brraps  
Man I'm like a young gun fully black Barrack  
I cried tear drops over the massive attack  
I only make hits like I work with a racket and bat  
**

**Sugar:**

**Look at my jacket and hat  
So damn berserk  
So down to earth  
I'm bringing gravity back  
Adopted by the major I want my family back  
People work hard just to get all their salary taxed  
Look I'm just a writer from the ghetto like Malory Blackman  
Where the hells all the sanity at, damn  
I used to be the kid that no one cared about  
That's why you have to keep screaming 'til they hear you out  
**

**Ryan/Sam:  
Oh written in the stars  
A million miles away  
A message to the mane  
No  
Seasons come and go  
But I will never change  
And I'm on my way  
**

**Sugar:  
Oh, oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh, oh  
**

**Puck:  
Yeah, I needed a change  
When we ate we never took cause we needed a change  
I needed a break  
For a sec' I even gave up believing and praying  
I even done illegal stuff and was leaded astray  
They say the money is the root to the evilest ways  
But have you ever been so hungry that it keeps you awake  
Mate, now my hunger would leave them amazed  
**

**Blaine:**

**Great, it feels like a long time coming, fam'  
Since the day I thought of that cunning plan  
One day I had a dream I tried to chase it  
But I wasn't going nowhere, running man!  
I knew that maybe someday I would understand  
Trying to change a tenner to a hundred grand  
Everyone's a kid that no-one cares about  
You just have to keep screaming 'til they hear you out**

Ryan/Sam:

**Oh written in the stars  
A million miles away  
A message to the mane  
No  
Seasons come and go  
But I will never change  
And I'm on my way  
**

**Sugar:  
Oh, oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh, oh**

All:

**Oh written in the stars  
A million miles away  
A message to the mane  
No  
Seasons come and go  
But I will never change  
And I'm on my way**

"It's been a great year… I know there's been ups and downs but fuck it. It's been fun. But let's forget the past now… On to the future; the summer… Camping anyone?" Puck said.

"What about my hair? It'll get ruined in the wilderness? And I don't want a Sasquatch to get us?" Sugar said, looking scared.

"There's no such thing as a Sasquatch Sugar" I said, laughing.

"It's camping, it's about getting in touch with nature and forgetting about your hair and showers and stuff" Sam said.

"And remember that if Puck is organising this, there's gonna be some special drinks involved… That'll make you forget quick" Blaine said.

"True" Ok, I'm in!" She said excitedly.

We spent the next hour planning out the summer before going home.

/

_So we've basically planned out our entire summer and wow, its jam packed. I can't wait! There's so much to do!_

_We're doing the camping trip in the woods._

_Puck has made it our mission to get into a movie without paying._

_Sam is visiting some family in Tennessee and I might be going too!_

_I'm visiting some distant family in Boston and the guys might be able to go too!_

_We're gonna practise loads for glee. I want to get more solos next year._

_Santana and Brittany will probably hang out with us a lot too and the rest of the glee guys._

_There'll be a few birthdays to celebrate, including mine!_

_Sugar and I wanna try and meet Lady GaGa when she comes here on tour._

_I wanna take Sam out for lots of dates._

_Aside from that, we're just gonna all see each other as much as we can. This summer is gonna be great._

_After that, glee club is back and the craziness will begin again!_

_I can't wait._

**/**

**A/N: So that's it! We're done… Season 1 anyway! I'll be back for season 2! I'm trying to decide whether or not to make a new continuation story for season2/3, etc so there would be less chapters in each story. or to just continue on with season 2 in the next chapters. Which would be easier?**

**Anyways, I think I'm gonna take a little break while I'm trying to sort some things for season 2. I have the main storylines and ideas, but I have to break them up into chapters soon.**

**I'll be back soon! Whatever way I choose to format season 2, I'll keep people posted on here!**

**Also, I've gotten a few reviews, so thanks! To the people who have reviewed, let me know anything else you like in the story, couples, storylines, etc.**


	21. Year 2 Info

**So I've decided that I'm gonna make a new story as a continuation of this one, Year/Season 2. It'll continue this way for 3, 4, etc. I'll update this chapter with a link to the continuation once I have it ready. You'll find it in my profile anyway. **

**Also, there will most definitely be a lot of drama coming, just wait. There'll be a few lighter chapters first… But again, just wait. (Hopefully sounds dramatic already?)**

**Thank you to everyone who is reading, reviewing and liking my story!**

**I'll be back very soon!**


	22. Year 2 Link

**So here's the link to Year 2 of 'Glee: My Journey;!**

**Hope you enjoy! :)**

s/8762928/1/Glee-My-Journey-Year-2


End file.
